Disease
by psycho pixie
Summary: Rated for language, of course. K/Sess. AU spinoff from one of the episodes, so be kind. TEASER from the SEQUEL! R/R! Tell me what you think, I need your feedback!
1. The Bet and What Followed

This takes place directly after Sesshoumaru steals Tetsusuiga and then gets it stolen back from him by Inuyasha. Like, right after that episode. Only we have an AU twist come in here: Sesshoumaru keeps his arm and, in doing so, the Shikkon jewel shard embedded in it. And suddenly we notice a bit of a pattern emerging: Sesshoumaru and Kagome develop this odd habit of running into each other . . . How bad could it get, anyways? . . . It's not like Lord Sesshoumaru is anything other that tall, handsome, and incredibly dashing . . . (this is SO a K/S story, by the way. What else would I write??)

*

" . . . The least you could have done is cut off his arm."

"What, and let you conveniently walk off with the jewel shard? I DON'T THINK SO!"

"And what leads you to believe I would have taken the jewel shard for myself? I have been nothing but truthful and honest since we met."

"Yeah, _right_."

"Give me one example when—"

"One example? _One _example? WHICH ONE? I can think of at least a million, you damn perverted excuse for a monk! Black cloud, my ass . . ."

"But you'll at least admit that we've slept well lately."

"Whatever. Just don't you dare start on me about getting that jewel shard. 'Cut off his arm,' you say. 'It's not that hard,' you say. Hey, buddy, when you're looking down the shaft of your own sword and hearing some moron tell you to cut off the guy's arm, see how easy it is!"

"Performance anxiety?"

"Excuse me??"

"Nothing; just thinking out loud. Continue."

Inuyasha continued his rant at full volume, and I turned away so that I missed the general explosion. "All I'm saying is that you weren't a whole lot of help yourself! He was using the power of the sword on me—_and_ I got a hand through my stomach, thanks a lot! Next time my asshole brother comes and knocks on the door, why don't _you_ deal with him and cut off his damned arm yourself? Then I'll let you keep the stupid jewel shard fair and square!"

"I may just do that. The offer sounds quite inviting."

Inuyasha just scoffed at Miroku. "You really _are_ stupid, did you know that?"

"I think you've mentioned it to me once or twice," the monk replied dryly.

"Well I'm mentioning it again."

"Hey, do you two want to shut up, by chance?" I asked them. "The point is, we're all still alive, you still have Tetsusuiga, and I don't think Sesshoumaru is anywhere near here right now. Besides, Shippou is trying to sleep, for crying out loud. Have some decency."

"Sorry, Kagome," Miroku told me kindly. "We didn't mean to upset you."

"Who said she was upset?" demanded Inuyasha. "She was just telling you to shut your damn mouth!"

"I was telling you both," I corrected. "It's late, and besides—you should be resting," I added, giving Inuyasha as dark a look as I could muster. "You have to heal completely before we go looking for any more jewel shards—_or_ Naraku, for that matter. I don't think we can afford for you to collapse in the middle of a fight. And what if Sesshoumaru shows up again to take Tetsusuiga? You know you can't defeat him right now."

"Hey, say it louder!" he snapped. "I don't think they heard you on the other side of the world! The last thing we need is for every demon within a hundred miles to know that I'm out of commission, okay? Especially Sesshoumaru. I wouldn't be surprised if he's nearby and we just can't sense him."

"Well I don't sense a jewel shard, so I highly doubt he's around," I replied smartly. He scowled at me. "Besides, you owe me one. I _did_ save your life, you know."

His golden eyes promised murder as soon as he was healed, and I tossed my hair defiantly. "Don't you dare use that against me! Do you have any idea what Sesshoumaru would have done to you if I hadn't been there? Yeah, I didn't think so!"

I snorted. "You're just mad because you didn't get that jewel shard. It's always about the damn jewel shards with you! Between that and Kikyo, I don't know what to do with you! You're hopeless, did you know that?"

"Well I don't see _you_ running off to grab some of the shards! You've been absolutely useless when it comes to finding them anyways—and don't you _dare_ talk to me about Kikyo," he added warningly.

"Then don't start on me about the jewel shards," I replied coldly. "If you'd give me a freaking chance, I could find a jewel shard as easily as you could."

"Yeah, right!" 

Miroku arched an eyebrow and took a quiet sip of tea, careful to keep his nose out of this one.

"Wanna bet?" I challenged. "Give me three weeks, and I'll have a damned jewel shard—and if I get it, I'll even let you have it!"

"Don't bother!" he retorted irritably. "I'll be kind enough to give you a month—and if you don't find one, I don't want you to talk for SIX DAYS."

"Fine!" I snapped, royally irked. I'm not usually stressed out after a fight, but then I don't usually stare down Sesshoumaru and shoot at him, either. I'm no hero—I'm just a kid yanked from her school and her friends to run around in the feudal era looking for a jewel that someone stashed in me with the help of a fox kid, a horny monk, and a bitchy half-demon dog boy from hell.

The said bitchy half-demon dog from hell grinned ferally as I stood up to storm off into the woods and throw a temper tantrum. "Silence will be good," he taunted.

I flounced off, tossing an angry "_Sit,_ boy!" over my shoulder. There was a crash and then some choice curses from Inuyasha, and I stormed away. Served him right for being a jerk.

I stopped at the edge of a waterfall, a few hundred yards downstream from the riverbed we were camped at, and sat down irritably. Stupid Inuyasha. Damned dog from hell. And damn Sesshoumaru for pissing him off. Damn him for having a jewel shard in his arm. Damn him for even having an arm! I didn't know how he'd gotten the sword to respond to him—Inuyasha had only been able to use it the first time when he was protecting me—and by no means had Sesshoumaru been protecting me with the sword. Maybe it was the jewel shard, or the fact that he had the arm of a human. Or maybe, as Inuyasha delighted in telling me, I was just a stupid girl and I didn't have a clue.

I folded my arms and closed my eyes, breathing in the fresh air and peaceful atmosphere. But I was suddenly aware of the jewel shard that had been constantly present in my mind the entire evening. It had been far away when I had been talking to Inuyasha, but over the past few minutes it had grown closer at an alarming rate. But who cared? If Sesshoumaru felt that it was his duty to kill Inuyasha and steal Tetsusuiga, then that was his own problem. But the least he could do was wait for him to be up to the challenge. 

At that particular moment, I was feeling a bit crabby and far from rational, and so I took advantage of the fact that the carrier of the jewel shard was about to blow right by me so fast that I'd probably pass it off as a breeze. But he wasn't going fast enough that he wouldn't hear me if I spoke to him directly.

"Excuse me, but haven't you done enough damage lately?" I asked dryly to emptiness and the darkness that surrounded me. I was not surprised, however, when out of the darkness came the looming, intimidating form of Inuyasha's brother. 

Well . . . half, anyways.

Maybe speaking up wasn't so bright after all.

I swallowed down a sudden thrill of fear and an urge to kick myself and run like the wind. But I might as well sit it out. Maybe he'd just kill me and be done with it. It wasn't like Inuyasha would miss me, anyways.

"Large words for a small thing like you," the Lord of the Western Lands informed me. "I would mind my tongue if I were you—I don't see your bow and arrows to back you up."

I stood up and put my hands on my hips, well aware that I'd never actually been this close to Sesshoumaru before and been the object of his attention. Damn . . . and I thought Inuyasha had been imposing. I'd always thought he was pretty big for a guy, especially compared to Miroku, but Sesshoumaru dwarfed his brother in height and made me feel two inches tall. But hey, if you're a demon lord, then I guess you can't afford to be wimpy. 

"I wasn't threatening you," I replied in a voice that was tighter with fear than I'd hoped. "I was just stating that it would be polite to leave Inuyasha alone until he's strong enough to fight you. He's pretty weak right now—you _did_ put your hand through his stomach, you know."

"I don't think he would appreciate the fact that you're telling me how weak he is," his voice came from the darkness. It's not that it was so dark that I couldn't see him, but . . . well, when he spoke, that's where his voice seemed to come from. It was like the darkness was speaking to me, not him. "As it is, I could simply walk into your little camp and kill him where he sits. Then the sword will belong to me—and rightfully so—and from what you tell me, it won't be difficult at all."

My mind raced with a decent response. "Well sure, but where's the fun in that? Where's the challenge—the fight? That's like walking up to an old lady and stealing her wheelchair—or whatever you use here. Okay, bad example. My point is, wouldn't it be more meaningful if you actually _fought_ for the sword and won it, rather than walk up to a cripple and take it? But don't let me give you advice," I added acidly. "As I don't have my bow and arrows to back me up."

"I could kill you where you stand," he said softly, as though it had just come to mind and he was suggesting it to me. And on top of that, he was suddenly right behind me, speaking into my ear. I stiffened at the feeling of his lips brushing my ear, so close to me . . . "And my brother could not save you."

"_Could _not? Because if you mean would not, then you're right, so if you think that killing me will enrage him and give him some strength to fight you, then you're wrong. I've heard it before—kill the wench, kill Inuyasha's wench, kill his whore, blah blah blah, you're all stupid and wrong. He'd just be pissed off that you beat him to it."

A dark chuckle, and then he was in front of me again. "You are certainly interesting, human."

"Well thanks. You fascinate me too."

Goosebumps rose up on my arms and the back of my neck, although I wasn't sure if it was from the cool breeze that was blowing or the way he was looking right at me. His golden eyes bored holes in mine, and I felt myself take a step back.

"Do I frighten you?" he asked with a slight smile.

I swallowed again, my mouth suddenly dry. "I travel with a horny monk and a temperamental half-demon dog from hell. Very few things frighten me, and congratulations—I think that right now, at this immediate moment, you qualify as one of them."

His face, so quiet and serene in the pale moonlight, seemed ancient and made of porcelain for a moment as he regarded me. "You are wise to fear me. The only reason you live now is because I do not feel like killing you."

"I didn't plan on asking why you're letting me live, but since you mention it—and also, I'll probably say something obnoxious later and make you mad anyways, so I might as well ask—why don't you feel like killing me? Every time I see you, you've got some kind of agenda going on that includes killing us all. And stealing Tetsusuiga, of course," I added. "I'm not trying to be rude or anything—I'm just curious."

If he was the type of person that shrugged, I think he would have. "I do not analyze my moments when I feel like granting mercy, as I usually rethink it and kill the individual in question, so I ask for your sake that you do not make me do so. Unless you'd like me to kill you, which could be arranged," he added offhandedly. 

"Oh, no thanks. I'll pass," I assured him nervously. "But thanks for the offer."

I think he snorted, but it was highly unlikely. "I will wait for my brother to regain his strength, and then I will take the Tetsusuiga from him with honor," he declared. "Pray to whatever primitive gods you have that I do not see you on that day, because I will not be in as fair spirits as I am in now."

"Well I'm glad you're in a good mood now," I managed, getting scared suddenly. "Um—I'll just be going now. I probably ought to get back to camp anyways, so if you don't mind—"

Before the sentence was done—actually, before I could come up with a tactful way to end the sentence, he had clamped one hand over my mouth and grabbed me with the other to keep me from screaming. I closed my eyes, certain he was going to snap my neck or something violent like that, but there was a _whoosh_ of air rushing by, and from the way my stomach was left behind, we were moving—fast. When we came to a stop, I opened my eyes and heard the distinct voices of Inuyasha and Miroku by the fire, not more than ten feet away.

I raised my eyes to Sesshoumaru, shaking with the adrenaline rush that comes with the certainty that you're about to be killed, the question written all over my face.

"These woods are dangerous at night," he told me softly, to keep Inuyasha from hearing him with his inhuman ears. "I should hate for a foolish wandering demon to end your life when I have so kindly spared it. Do not walk these woods alone after dark, or you will meet those less merciful that I." And with that, he turned and walked away. Just walked off, like it was nothing. 

I heard a yelp from Inuyasha, and suddenly he and Miroku were at my side. "What in the hell did you think you were doing, running off like that?" he exploded. "For one thing, these woods are crawling with demons, and for another, I smell Sesshoumaru! He's roaming all over these woods, and he'd jump at the chance to kill any of us!"

I snorted. "You know, thanks to me, he didn't come over here and kill you a minute ago, so HAH."

Inuyasha got right up in my face then and put his nose very close to me. "You're not kidding, are you?" he asked slowly. And then came the rant. "ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY OUT OF YOUR HALF-WITTED MIND? OR ARE YOU JUST _STUPID_? Did you actually go after my brother or something?—because if you did, I'll be the first one to play demonstration on how dangerous he is! This hole in my stomach? Yeah, THAT WOULD BE FROM HIM! You are absolutely the _stupidest_—"

I slipped around him and shouted into the woods, simply to make Inuyasha furious, "The sex was great!"

"_WHAT?!"_

"I'm going to bed," I told him calmly. "So if you'd mind shutting up now, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks."

"You're so freaking—"

"Good-night, Inuyasha."

"—absolutely the most goddamn—"

"Good-night, Miroku."

"'Night, Kagome."

"—such a damned stupid—you didn't really—"

"Sit, boy."

__

*Crash*

#

To say the least, Inuyasha was pretty pissed off at me for a while. Even as I helped him regain his strength, I don't think he ever really forgot my 'the sex was great' comment, and I don't think he really forgave me for it—though whether it was for trying to piss him off or actually thinking I was serious, I didn't know.

Miroku walked beside me as we travelled to wherever our road took us next, as Inuyasha walked several dozen yards in front of us to make the statement that he didn't need us. He was also declaring for all the world to see that he was sulking. Big hissy fit he'd been throwing, if you asked me.

"So," the monk said after a long silence. "Do you think he's really okay?"

I shrugged. "I'm sure he'll be fine. I think he ought to rest a little more, but I think we're headed in Kaede's direction, so maybe she'll be of some help."

He studied me for a long moment, and for the first time, I had the feeling that I wasn't being undressed by his eyes. "And what about you? You seem . . . well, different. Sharper. Something's changed lately."

I bit my lip. I had been worrying myself as well, actually—ever since the battle with Sesshoumaru, I had felt reckless and rebellious. No . . . it had been before then. 

__

You know what's wrong, a tiny voice in my mind whispered.

Love. That was the source of all my problems—all of everyone's problems, actually. _My_ love was the source of problems.

When I first landed at the bottom of the well and crawled into my own past, I had found myself falling slowly in love with the most insufferable person I'd ever met. It didn't matter that at the new moon he turned into a human, or that he had ears like a collie, without the droop and long fur but just as cute—not even that his father had been a full-blooded demon and he was constantly accosted by his half-brother, another true demon. None of that bothered me. It just seemed to define who he was, and any definition of the real Inuyasha was welcome to me. But the son of a bitch shut me out before I could get past his defenses, because I was a reminder of a time when he had been more human than demon. I reminded him of that stupid priestess Kikyo, who I resembled down to a very fine visual analysis. And he could never accept someone who he felt had betrayed him so deeply in a former life. It was because of her that he was in the tree that I found him in for fifty years—he was jaded. Sure, he loved Kikyo, but he wasn't _in _love with her anymore. That did not mean he was in love with me.

I was yet young, but even I have to give up every now and then. It wasn't like he was afraid to admit he loved me, or even that he hated loving me—he just didn't love me, period. I was a sister to him, maybe even just an annoyance. And I finally gave up on him. I couldn't make him feel something that he was unwilling to feel. It was better off if we were just friends anyways—I would eventually have to go back to my own time for good and leave this place behind, and I don't think I could function if I was in love with someone who died a very long time ago.

God only knew I was no masochist. I wanted so desperately to be in love with him the way I had been, and be the way I was before I had to quit, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. Change is always a terrifying thing, and when your heart suddenly goes from seeing one person to seeing nothing . . . you change some more. I was not the person I had been not so long ago, when I had been hopelessly in love with him. Had all this transpired in that short amount of time since I'd first fallen into the old well?

I sighed. "It's a long story, Miroku."

"It's a long walk." 

"What are you, my therapist? If I were in denial, that would be one thing. But I know darned well why I'm different, so it's not a problem."

He shrugged. "If you insist. Whenever you need to talk about it, just come to me. I'm always willing to talk to you."

"It's nice to know I have at least one normal friend here," I sighed. "Thanks, Miroku. I owe you one."

His eyebrows jumped. "Really. Well do you mind if I were to call you on that favor? It's a small request."

It always was with him.

"Sure, I guess."

In a very conversational, casual, and yet serious tone, he said, "Please do me the honor of having my children."

" . . . You are such a sick fuck!" Inuyasha hollered back at him. "You nasty perv, go jump in a cold tub or something!"

Guys are such guys.


	2. I said SIT!

AN: Hey, thanks for the constructive criticism, guys! I do still have some slip-ups and mix-ups in here, so any advice or help you can offer is totally welcome. Thank you SO MUCH for the great reviews!! I was totally surprised that I even had any. Anyways, here's the continuation, and if anyone would like to volunteer to be my editor/beta reader for upcoming chapters, I will accept all the help I can get. Hope you like this next part. I'm trying, really I am! Maybe one day my efforts will pay off. I'm also trying to keep my characters . . . well, in character, and I may just pop in doing so. Actually, I just hope I've got some semblance of their characters right. Can't make huge promises. I'M TRYING!! 

*

"Be—_Inuyasha! _I told you to be still!" I exploded. "Can't you just do me this one favor and let me see?"

"I am keeping my clothes on, and no you may NOT see!"

"I just want to know—"

"How big it is, I know, and the answer is still no!"

"I'm not going to _touch_ it, you stubborn ass, I just want to look!"

Miroku's eyes snapped up suddenly. "I haven't really been paying attention, but I guess you two are friends again." The look on his face clearly spoke of restrained laughter, and he glanced over at Shippou. "You'd better disappear for a while, kiddo. This is not for young ears."

Shippou scowled. "You don't even know what they're talking about, do you?"

"I can take a guess."

"Shut up, you pervert," snapped Inuyasha. "You're so—get _off_ of me!"

We wrestled for a bit. "I promise, this isn't going to hurt," I began, reaching for the little container of slippery liquid.

"You're so full of shit!" he exclaimed. "Everyone always says it's not going to hurt, and it does!"

"Oh cork it, are you afraid of a little pain? The ends make up for the means, and it doesn't hurt that bad. And how would you know, anyways? You've never done this!"

"Don't make me throw you off of me," he warned, his golden eyes glittering dangerously.

I sighed. "You're going to make me rip your clothes off, aren't you?"

"You'll have to knock me out before you touch me!"

A bit more of a scuffle ensued, until we were both sprawled out on the ground, with Inuyasha on his back, me straddling him, and his arms pinned by my legs. Still holding the container, I folded my arms. "You can make this easy, or you can make this hard," I told him flatly. Miroku picked up Shippou and started to carry him off quickly, so that he didn't miss the show himself, but the little fox squirmed out of his grip and hopped back to the log he'd been sitting on. 

"No way am I disappearing now!" he exclaimed.

"When you're older, you can watch them play," Miroku argued. "For now, you need to leave Mom and Dad alone and let them decide who's on—"

"SHUT UP!" Inuyasha roared. "And as for you, you stupid wench, don't you dare put that stuff on me!"

I dug my knees into his arms, and he flinched. With one hand, I pulled his shirt open— only to reveal the gaping wound that refused to heal. "You know, I ought to have done this while you were sleeping," I sighed, opening the little bottle and preparing to pour a little of the mixture onto his stomach.

Inuyasha squirmed so forcefully that I really almost was thrown off of him, but I set my jaw. "I made this up specifically for you, Inuyasha, because if you don't let someone tend to that, then you'll be in a lot more trouble when Naraku shows up than you would be had you been healed completely! You know you can't fight like this!"

He thrashed again, and the bottle tipped over, dumping onto the gash in his stomach. And then, taking in a mighty breath, he bellowed, _"OUCH, KAGOME! THAT FUCKING HURT!_"

I stopped the flow of liquid before I ran out, in case he let me put it on his back too—which I doubted, but hey. It could happen. I crawled off of him and put my hands on my hips, surveying him closely. The roots I had ground up into the mixture were acting as both clotting agents and a sort of elixir, so I could only hope that he healed as quickly as this was supposed to ensure. 

"Ow, ow, ow!" Inuyasha was ranting, looking down at his stomach in what I knew was self-induced horror. "Jeez, you could have _warned_ me, Kagome! Ouch! Hey, this freaking burns!"

"And it's going to burn until you quit moving around," I told him. "You're just irritating your wound, you know."

He scowled at me, while I gave Miroku a glance that spoke of long suffering.. "He's such a big baby," I muttered.

"I heard that!"

I sniffed and folded my arms, turning my nose up haughtily. "Big deal. You call me names all the time."

"Whatever!" he snapped. But after a few glances at him, I could see that he was trying to hide the fact that his stomach actually didn't hurt anymore. In fact, after a few hours, it looked much better that it had in a while.

By the end of the day, Inuyasha was no longer walking funny to keep from hurting himself, and while he had put all his clothes back where they belonged, no new blood seeped through the front or back. And the bandages that I'd put on him had been long since discarded. Guess I can do some things right, huh? Not like he had gotten over it yet. And once again, he wasn't talking to me.

The comfortable silence that often hung on long treks like these began to change, though. Shippou was riding on Miroku's shoulder, Inuyasha was of course far enough in front of us that talking to him would have been pointless, and I lagged somewhere in between them. As the sun lowered in the sky, I began to feel uneasy. I remembered Sesshoumaru's words from that night, three days ago-- _Do not walk these woods alone after dark, or you will meet those less merciful that I._ Visions of a random demon leaping out from behind one tree and dragging me out of sight behind another in the blink of an eye danced through my head, and I began checking the woods around and behind me intermittently. It didn't help that even as the sky went from light blue to a sort of pale navy, all I could see in the woods was darkness. It was disorienting, to say the least. And freaky. The stark contrast made the world around me seem to glow with its own black light, and I started hearing noises in every corner of the forest.

The blinding flash in my mind made me stop dead in my tracks. "Inuyasha!" I cried out suddenly.

"What?" he called back irritably, hardly sparing a glance over his shoulder.

"I sense jewel shards—a lot of them!" I told him in a rising voice. "And they're headed this way, fast!"

Miroku's grip on his staff went from that of a walking stick to that of a weapon. "I sense something as well," he called out.

Inuyasha paused for a moment as we caught up with him, his face unreadable and his nose ever so slightly in the air. "I smell him," he growled. "I don't know who it is, but I smell a demon. I think he's ahead of us. Kagome, stay back a bit. I don't want you to be the first thing it sees."

I opened my mouth to protest. "But Inu—"

Miroku cut me off. "No, he's right. It's safer for you if you're away from the fight."

Of course there would be a fight. Jewel shards=fight. It would always be like that.

"Wait!" I exclaimed. "Inuyasha, are you in any shape to fight?"

His face was written with contempt. "Of course I am! Who do you take me for?"

I faltered, and with a look of triumph, Inuyasha stormed off to start a fight with what was probably an unsuspecting demon who was unfortunate enough to carry exactly what he wanted. His hand went to the hilt of Tetsusuiga almost out of reflex, and then he disappeared into the darkness. Miroku paused a moment before following.

"Be careful," he told me with true concern. "This doesn't feel right. Be ready to shoot anything that moves—well, anything that isn't me, anyways," he added lightly. I gave my best 'whatever' smile as he and Shippou headed after Inuyasha.

"Hey, watch your back," called Shippou. "This shouldn't take too long!"

I grinned. He was so adorable.

"Come on, you guys! Whatever we're after is on the move!" Inuyasha hollered from out of sight. I followed them slowly, not fast enough to be considered following, but enough that I didn't feel as frightened as I was suddenly starting to think I should be.

There was a snap from the dense trees beside me, and I spun around in alarm. Nothing.

I remained very still for a few moments, trying in vain to see something in the darkness—anything. I saw nothing.

__

A rustle of bushes. Fear began to well up in me stronger than before, and I slowly pulled out my bow and readied an arrow, but didn't raise it. I _had_ heard something.

Another flash in my mind, this one stronger than before. Jewel shards—right in front of me! There were . . . twenty. No, wait, was it thirty? No! I couldn't count how many there were! I sucked in a breath to scream bloody murder, but a voice from the darkness cut me off before I could make a noise.

"Kikyo?" it breathed.

I balked. "What?"

"Is that you, priestess?" the man's voice asked. "How are you still alive? I killed you . . . "

"Who are you?" I asked the demon slowly.

"You know me," he whispered. "Remember me, Kikyo."

Shot in the dark. "Naraku?" 

A shaft of dying light fell onto his form, and instead of seeing a man—even a demon—I saw a _costume_. Excuse me? . . . A baboon suit or something like that. Um . . . okay. I could feel myself being slowly dissected by the dark holes that hid his eyes. "You are not Kikyo," he growled softly. "You are like her, but . . . you are not her."

"I'm . . ." I searched for words. "I'm _sort_ of Kikyo. Not totally. But—is that who you are? Naraku?"

Naraku—I think it was Naraku—stepped out from the darkness and stopped only feet from me. I backed away slowly. "Who are you, if not the priestess Kikyo?"

I searched for words. "Uh—I'm—"

"You have jewel shards," he said simply.

"Well I—no! I don't!" I burst out.

He took another step closer to me, and I took another step back. I could hear him inhale deeply, as though testing the air, and then give a deep, throaty laugh. "I know you now," he chuckled. "You're Inuyasha's wench. His scent covers you. I have heard stories of the girl who came from a well, but I have never been honored enough to meet her. Indeed, I am Naraku."

Shit. I hated it when I was right. _Shit_.

I continued to back away, but he advanced on me slowly. "Inuyasha will not come," he told me calmly. "He and the monk are chasing shadows. Should they find what they are chasing, I believe they will be highly disappointed." He paused for a moment. "Perhaps I can deceive him again. Would he enjoy it if I were to make it seem as though I were Kikyo, and I had destroyed you? I fear I've shattered that relationship so much that he may not be able to handle it. Or perhaps . . . I could make it seem as though you killed Kikyo. I should enjoy his reaction, no matter what I do." He closed in on me gradually, and I felt the panic I had been suppressing rise to the surface as I found myself backed into a tree. "But I will enjoy killing you as well," he added. "Perhaps more than anything."

The air around me stirred, and even though Naraku laid no hand on me, I felt as though I were suffocating. "But—"

The ominous baboon's head regarded me as my air was cut off. Naraku reached out a covered hand, his own fingers barely visible beneath the fur draped over them, and lifted my chin up so that my eyes met the void of his own eyes. "You look so much like Kikyo," he told me quietly. "Perhaps that will make this easier for me." His hand went from my chin to my throat and the slightest pressure was applied—and then more. My eyes grew wide as he squeezed, and I opened my mouth to scream—

A rush of wind, and then a slam of bodies as Naraku's grip on me vanished suddenly and he slammed into a tree himself. There was a flash in my mind that alerted me to a jewel shard, but I ignored it for once as I fell to my knees and sucked a deep breath into my deprived lungs. I lifted my eyes to see what was going on, although I pressed myself to the tree, not wanting to be close to what was happening but also not wanting to run into the darkness of the forest.

Naraku was pinned to a large tree, the baboon suit suddenly tattered and falling off, and he was pinned by—

__

What??

"You fool," he chuckled around the arm that was pressed into his throat.. "You don't honestly think you can defeat me, do you?"

"I have no intentions of defeating you, nor do I harbor any ill will to our partnership," came the reply. "I am simply protecting an investment."

"She is hardly an investment," Naraku said. "She is the embodiment of a long-dead priestess, but inside she is too frail. Whoever advised you to invest in _that_ played you for a fool."

"That is not your concern," Sesshoumaru growled. "I informed you just days ago that Inuyasha's wench was off-limits. I hope, for your sake, that you simply forgot." He didn't even look at me once. I stared at the scene unfolding before me in shock—they sounded like a couple of businessmen discussing sales and marketing. So . . . did that make me for sale, or on the market? That was technically the same thing, never mind. Okay, sounded from the discussion like I was _off_ the market. Thank God.

"Forgive me. I meant her no harm. I shall avoid her so long as you still protect her." 

Sesshoumaru removed his arm from Naraku's neck and took a step back. "Agreed."

"But unfortunately, you will not live to do so for very long," the baboon-clad demon continued, and in one swift motion, he had driven his fist up into Sesshoumaru's stomach, his armor cracking like a gunshot at the force of the blow.

The other demon doubled over, eyes wide with surprise and probably pain as an elbow was driven into the center of his back as well. Even as that happened, he flexed his claws and swung upward, catching Naraku full in the face. Well, sort of. The baboon head that covered his face was shredded into nothingness, and the rest of the suit fell to the ground in tatters. I craned my neck to get a look at the demon who had caused Inuyasha so much grief, but his face was masked by his long black hair. I sighed and resolved to stay right where I was: out of the way.

Sesshoumaru bared his fangs, his armor tattered after just two blows. He tossed the big fluffy thing onto the ground, and his shattered armor fell with it, revealing the simple cloth beneath it. It offered no protection whatsoever.

There was a moment of stillness before the violence erupted again, and I ducked to avoid debris. Naraku lunged at Sesshoumaru with a fury of power, his palm connecting with his face in what seemed to be a normal slap—but Sesshoumaru jerked his cheek away from the contact almost immediately, and I could see the imprint of Naraku's hand literally burned into his skin. He struck with his claws again, and this time his aim was true: a line of brutal gashes ripped up from Naraku's stomach to his shoulder, and the other demon fell back suddenly. Sesshoumaru tensed with a little triumph and a little more caution, and then suddenly Naraku rammed into him and they crashed back several dozen yards into a large old oak. This time, Naraku placed his hand on Sesshoumaru's chest, and the cloth under his hand began to blacken and disintegrate. Slowly, slowly, the fabric began to burn away across that side of his chest, and as Sesshoumaru's skin began to do the same, he grabbed onto Naraku's upper arms and dug his nails into the skin, drawing blood and pumping venom into him at the same time.

"You're going to lose," Naraku growled, his face still hidden from my sight.

Sesshoumaru tightened his grip. "No I'm not," he ground out, his teeth clenched.

"This battle will destroy your investment before long," he hissed. "Can she survive being a spectator?"

His nails dug farther into the skin of his opponent, his golden eyes locking on mine for a moment before returning to Naraku's. "You're a fool," he hissed. "And you'll die for it."

The earth beneath me began to tremble, and I looked at the pair in alarm. Sesshoumaru wasn't making it do that—"Can she survive a wave of pure, total destruction?" Naraku snarled, the venom beginning to wear on him and sweat beading at the tip of his nose.

Sesshoumaru had released one of his hands from Naraku's shoulder and grabbed onto the hand that burned into his chest, trying to wrench it away and digging his nail into the wrist. "You wouldn't dare."

The ground shook a little more, as though backing up Naraku's claim. "Wouldn't I?"

The air around them began to grow dark, forming a bubble around the struggling pair and then expanding outward slowly. The grass that it touched began to blacken, and when it touched the tree they were backed into, the leaves shriveled up and turned to ashes, dropping to the ground like burned tears. I abandoned my own tree and scrambled backwards on my hands in a little crab-walk, terrified.

Another glance from Sesshoumaru, and then the air around him literally erupted. In an explosion of strength and fury, Sesshoumaru grabbed Naraku by the throat, purposely slicing him with his nails, and threw him across the clearing they had created as the black wave advanced on me. I stood up on my own feet and began to sprint at top-speed away from it, but I wasn't nearly fast enough to escape it—or Naraku's laughter. He was sprawled out at the base of a tree, laughing almost maniacally in that deep, rolling way that sent chills up my spine. Sesshoumaru stumbled once, a hand to the deep burn in his chest, but he righted himself and flickered out of sight. I swore violently in as many languages as I'd been taught to swear in—some help he was! 

But before I could elaborate on the angry thought, arms scooped me up and suddenly, the trees all ran together in one big black blob. Alarmed, I wrapped my arms around what I could now identify as Sesshoumaru's neck and watches as the consuming blackness expanded up and out, swallowing the footsteps he had just made. Cold tendrils reached out and brushed my hand, as though trying to grab them and pull me from Sesshoumaru's arms.

And then we emerged from the blackness of the forest, and the consuming mass behind us stopped. It just came to a halt at the edge of the forest, as though it had given up for the time being. There was nothing left of the said forest, either—it was now one big, huge crater. Amid the destruction and wasteland, I could see no sign of Naraku.

Sesshoumaru very nearly dropped me when we came to a stop, but managed to get me on my own two feet before he hit his knees, a hand over the burn on his chest. I knelt beside him. "Oh shit—_shit!_ I—shit!" I exclaimed, feeling the weight of the little bottle of ointment I had stashed. "I can't believe—here, this should help—" I insisted, pulling it out and letting the injured demon see it. "Please," I said quietly, looking into his fierce eyes that were nearly black with pain. "Let me help."

There was a moment when we did nothing but look at each other, but he finally nodded. "Be quick," he growled.

"Okay. Sit down, be still—" I uncorked the bottle with shaking hands and put a little of the oil into my palm. "I made this for the hole you put in your brother, but it's got some roots in it that should both soothe that burn and—and—I don't know, do whatever it's supposed to," I said frantically. "And this may burn a bit," I added. Gingerly, in case he lashed out like Inuyasha had, I placed my saturated hand over the hand-shaped burn on the left side of his chest. It was hot to the touch, like fevered skin, and Naraku's hand was much larger than mine, but Sesshoumaru exhaled heavily after I began regularly applying it to his skin.

"It doesn't burn," he told me finally. I carefully, carefully finished covering the burn with the ointment, making sure to get some of the skin around it as well, before he took my hand and removed it from his chest. "I heal quickly," he told me in his low voice. "I will be fine from here."

I let out a deep sigh, still trembling. I wasn't crying, but my whole body was shaking violently as we both stood up. I ran a hand through my hair, but it wasn't very effective because I was trembling so violently. It wasn't like I had never been near a battle like that—I'd been near worse! I held my hands away from me slightly to make them stop shaking so badly, but it didn't work. 

Sesshoumaru took my small hands into his own. "He will not follow us," he said, glancing into the burnt valley that had been a thriving—if not eerie—forest.

I swallowed. "It's not that," I began, trying so hard to actually succeed in swallowing and failing. "It's—Inuyasha!" I exclaimed suddenly. "He and Miroku and Shippou were in the forest! What—what if—"

"They were there?" he repeated. "Why did they not help you?"

I cleared my throat. "They sensed a demon ahead of us, and told me to stay behind where it was safer, away from the battle. And then Naraku showed up. Or—I guess he'd been there the whole time and no one sensed him."

"My brother is not dead," he growled, beginning to look downright furious. "But he is a damned fool, and by the time I finish with him, he will wish I killed him long ago. **_INUYASHA_**!" he bellowed, and I flinched at the volume of his voice. It echoed across the entire land, and the ground itself trembled at the thunder in it.

I jumped right out of my skin at the sound, and then I saw the black void that had been Naraku's eyes . . . his voice . . . and then I _did_ begin to cry. Just a little, but I began to cry all the same. To the alarm of my companion, I put my face into his shoulder and just cried until I could do so no more.

For a few minutes we stood like that, until I heard voices. Inuyasha's voice, actually.

"Sesshoumaru!" he exploded. "I should have known you'd have something to . . ." he trailed off. "Kagome?"

I jerked back and pulled my hands from Sesshoumaru's, wiping my eyes quickly and adjusting my bow and arrows on my shoulder. "Sorry," I muttered, clasping my hands behind my back to hide the tremors. "Um . . . hi . . ."

"Do something so foolish as to leave her alone in Naraku's forest again," began Sesshoumaru in a dangerously low voice, "and Naraku will be the least of your problems, brother. Tell me, did you find what you so desperately hunted at her expense?"

Inuyasha and Miroku exchanged wary glances, and the monk began to look guilty. "No, but what business is it of yours?" Inuyasha snapped, his hand going to Tetsusuiga. 

"You _fool!_ You walked right into a trap in that forest—Naraku set you up to draw you away from Kagome, and you played right into his hands! And you had best thank me," he added furiously, looming over his brother, "because next time I will not be so willing to clean up your messes!" Even tattered around the edges, with a hand imprinted into his chest and his shirt torn and hanging around his waist, Sesshoumaru was the most intimidating of the three young men standing there and he was _pissed_. I could understand why he was so mad—you step in to do a good deed, and of course someone tries to kill you. It's how life must go for a demon. Oh wow—I hoped suddenly that he didn't blame it on me or anything.

Inuyasha glared at his brother. "What are you trying to say?" he asked slowly, rising to his full height, but still dwarfed.

"I think he's trying to say that Naraku got to Kagome before we got to him. That was Naraku in the woods that we sensed, wasn't it?" Miroku asked me.

I nodded. "He said you were all chasing shadows."

"Did he hurt you?" Inuyasha demanded, his rage barely leashed. I could tell once again why he and Sesshoumaru only talked when it was over the sword. Dislike ran rampant between them, even when it had nothing to do with Tetsusuiga.

I shrugged. "I came out the worse for wear, but I'm fine. Sesshoumaru has great timing, by the way—I was on my own till he showed up."

The demons regarded each other venomously, and Inuyasha was the first to find something decent and borderline-appropriate to say. "Well thanks for lending a hand, brother, but I don't think we needed your services. It was only a matter of time before we'd have realized it was a setup. Besides, what would Naraku want with Kagome, anyways?"

Sesshoumaru made a move to probably knock Inuyasha's head off his shoulders, but I spoke up before anything went wrong. "He thought—well, um, he thought I was Kikyo," I mumbled, putting a hand on the back of my neck uncomfortably. "Oh, crap! That reminds me—he said he killed her a long time ago. I didn't remember for sure if you'd said anything to me about that or not."

Inuyasha nodded grimly. "Yeah, I figured something like that."

"Well that explains why he drew us away from Kagome," Miroku mused. "I suppose that this time, Sesshoumaru, we owe you our thanks. From the looks of it, you truly fought for Kagome."

An investment, actually, but I didn't bother to correct him. Inuyasha turned away irritably, his body stiff and his nose in the air to show that he was thoroughly annoyed. "Sure, I guess," he muttered, looking angry.

Sesshoumaru leveled an irritated and furious glance at his brother. "Your gratitude is overwhelming," he snarled at Inuyasha. The fact that it wasn't aimed at Miroku was a bit of a relief, if not a huge one. Turning on his heel, he began to storm off into the void where a forest had been minutes before, and Inuyasha turned to stalk the opposite direction spitefully. They were _so _immature. I sighed and gestured for them to wait for me, then spun around and ran after Sesshoumaru.

"Wait," I called before he stepped onto the dead grass and burned wood. He stopped and turned to me, brushing some ashes from his shoulder as though they were a miniscule fleck of dust on a spotless glass table. "I know he didn't seem like he appreciated your help, but I think he's just mad that he didn't get to Naraku first. I know on some level he's glad I'm not dead. I think," I added with a weak smile.

A scowl. "He is a fool. If he survives Naraku, he will be lucky, because that is all that will save him." He seemed to regard the word with contempt and then spit it out. "_Luck_."

"Oh, I don't know. He has his moments. Not a lot of them, but he has them. Here," I added, pulling out the bottle of ointment. "I don't think I'm going to need this, and—well, I know you heal fast, but still. In case you do something that irritates it. As long as it's healing, you might as well soothe that burn." He looked as though he were about to say something, but fell silent instead. "Anyways. I've done a little work with burns—more with cuts and gashes and holes, but I do know a little something, and if you happen to use up what little is left in there and you need some more, just find me and tell me. You usually seem to be in the right place at the right time a lot, so I may not be hard to find. And you're welcome to save my life any time, too, since Inuyasha is a bit behind the ball," I told him with a bit of a teasing smile. Who'd've thunk it?—The two of us standing and having civilized conversation. Guess Hell froze over, huh? Maybe saving someone's life does that to a person, because I had been scared out of my pants of him last time.

A glance over my shoulder at his brother, and then Sesshoumaru's fierce golden eyes were turned to me. "Travelling with him is bound to be dangerous," he said finally, suddenly getting uncomfortable. "Perhaps . . ."

I bit my lip and patiently waited for him to continue. Perhaps . . . perhaps _what!_

"Perhaps it would be safer, so long as Naraku lives and hunts your group, for you to—" was he . . . he _was_! It was a sight I had never seen, in all my travels—Sesshoumaru was nervous. He was _nervous_. About what?? "—To avoid Inuyasha for a short time. For your own safety, you are free to-"

To . . . 

"To travel with—"

You're kidding.

"With me. Until Naraku is defeated," he added. "Should you choose to."

I hoped to God that my jaw wasn't on the floor, because my shock was through the roof. _Okay, composure. Keep it cool. No biggie._

He just offered to take me with him!

He was evil. He'd tried to kill all of us several times—of course I had to say no. I couldn't just leave Inuyasha, Miroku, and Shippou because we were in danger. It would be as easy as saying "No thanks, sir, but I don't want your candy and I don't want to get in your car" to a total stranger.

So why was I currently choking on my own heart? And why wasn't I choking with fear?

"I—" I fumbled for words and waited for them to fall into my lap. None did, so I swallowed my heart and continued. "I know how dangerous it is to travel with Inuyasha on a daily basis, and how dangerous it is now that Naraku has it in for all of us, but—I can't walk out on them just because the going is getting tough. Even if Inuyasha doesn't need me, Shippou and Miroku do." I swallowed nervously. "But, um, you saved my life in there just now. And even if I can't join you now, I'd like you to know that maybe—just maybe—you're not as bad as everyone thinks you are. In case you ever wonder, I owe you my life and I won't forget that."

His face was truly unreadable, so I couldn't tell if he'd been placing some kind of emotional stock in asking me to go with him or not. But he didn't seem angry. Whew. "That is the brave decision to make," he said finally. "Perhaps not all humans are as spineless as I assumed. Very well then; I shall be on my way and you on yours. I am sure our paths will cross again someday, but until then." He left the sentence hanging and turned away from me, then disappeared into the hanging smoke and fog that was draped around the remains of the woods.

I made my sheepish way back to the group, hands behind my back and tongue carefully in check. Inuyasha was the first to speak.

"He propositioned you, didn't he!" he exploded. "I saw that—you were blushing! You're _still_ blushing! He came on to you!"

Oh hell. 

When in doubt, yell at Inuyasha. 

"_SIT_! SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT!" I raged. "You ungrateful jerk, if he hadn't stepped in and kicked Naraku's ass, none of us would be here! SIT! He absolutely didn't have to help me, let alone save my life, SIT!, and I can't believe you're so rude to him about it! If he hadn't shown up when he did, Naraku would have killed me and you wouldn't have even known until Naraku showed up and told you! I owe him my life, and so do you! SIT SIT **_SIT_**!"

My rage and rant was made all the more impressive by the crashes and shouts of anger from Inuyasha, and I scowled. 

"You stupid wench, he's—"

"**_SIT!_**"


	3. Being Introspective

I apologize—there's not much in the Sesshoumaru department this chapter, except in Kagome's own angsty mind, but I promise I'll make it up to you next chapter! We get an abundance of Sesshoumaru, if I do say so myself. . . I appreciate all the lovely reviews! You make me happy, and everyone is honest with me. Very valid points, I thank you all. The only problem with doing this story the way I've chosen to do it is that while we all see why Kagome feels the way she ends up feeling, my lead romantic male is unfortunately a bit mysterious right now. Although if you look like that, you can be as mysterious as you want to be in my book . . . but I'll work with him. To tip the scales, I may throw in a chapter from his point of view. Does that sound peachy keens to you guys?? That will be a true test for an author: first-person Sesshoumaru. And I'm SORRY SORRY SORRY! I keep meaning to finish The Air Up There . . . I really do! But I just can't get a grasp of where it's going now. I mean . . . I know where it's going, but I can't write fight stuff. So in between this and school, I will work on The Air Up There, but I can't promise anything soon. *Hides* I really am sorry. I hate when authors do what I'm doing—start a new story when I've abandoned another one. But I'm trying. Really I am! A few thousand more apologies. If you'd like to get in touch with me for whatever reason, my email is psycho_pixie17@hotmail.com and that's the address I'm more likely to receive any questions or comments. Or editor volunteers . . . ;)

*

I stared at the sky for a long time later that night while Inuyasha kept changing positions noisily and Miroku kept using Shippou for a pillow, much to the little guy's annoyance. Miroku had suddenly sensed an ominous black cloud hanging over a perfectly nice place to sleep, and the poor owner was so grateful to us for offering to banish the black cloud that he let us crash for the night.

I stood out on the balcony and watched the fish swim beneath the bridge and in circles around the complex, but I also saw the fishing net that kept them from going with the stream and ending up in the river almost a mile away. Between the fish and the stars, I was successfully occupied for a little while.

I had always felt on some level that I had no choice but to travel with Inuyasha and Miroku and Shippou—like all my options had been closed off when I didn't go home again, and they were it. Nothing against them, of course. It wasn't so much that I was forced to stay with them as it was I was _making_ myself stay with them. I had justified the abuse I endured with Inuyasha by saying that love was unconditional—not that he was actually horrible or anything, but he did wear my patience thin sometimes. It had seemed that while I was in love with him, I could overcome anything that stood in our way, and I was content to travel with them. But then I pushed myself out of it, because when you keep saying "_I'm_ in love" rather than "_We're_ in love," there's something wrong. And then it went from being like a little mish-mosh family to being four people looking for the same thing for their own reasons. Four strangers brought together unwillingly, bound together forever, whether they liked it or not. That's how it felt after a while—not to mention what I went through when I found myself loving Inuyasha less each day. Oh sure, sometimes I would realize I was 'over' it, and then fall right back in love with him the minute he was dashing, courageous, or even cleverly snide. It happened a lot.

But I could still remember how I felt when I leveled my arrow at Sesshoumaru when Inuyasha needed me the most. I felt wild, reckless—angry that he dared to hurt Inuyasha. Sure, I felt all that, but I didn't feel the thump of love in my chest. Not the way I had before (I was a little busy being thumped by fear and stupidity). Although it worked, didn't it? I did some good that night.

__

"Give me three weeks, and I'll have a damned jewel shard—and if I get it, I'll even let you have it!"

"Don't bother! I'll be kind enough to give you a month—and if you don't find one, I don't want you to talk for SIX DAYS."

"Fine!"

I was still in a fix with that. Where could I get a jewel shard? . . . 

Nope. Out of the question. I was not going to sucker him like that just to take his jewel shard. It wasn't worth it.

There were jewel shards just about everywhere. The next time I even _thought_ I sensed one, I would go get it. On my own, by my self, no help, thank you.

A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. Inuyasha really thought that I was sneaking around with Sesshoumaru, didn't he? If he knew that I had only talked to his brother twice without being seriously injured, he would shit a brick . . . although if it was because that was all that had happened, or I had actually managed it without losing a limb, I couldn't guess. I just knew that he'd flip out.

While I was reveling in memories . . . 

__

Perhaps it would be safer, so long as Naraku lives and hunts your group, for you to—avoid Inuyasha for a short time. For your own safety, you are free to . . . to travel with me until Naraku is defeated. Should you choose to.

He had been stammering. The mighty Lord of the Western Lands had to force a sentence out because he was embarrassed. Well . . . okay, not embarrassed. That was stretching it. Why would asking me something embarrass him?

I put a hand to my cheeks and felt them burning. Okay, if he hadn't been embarrassed, I sure as hell had been. It definitely wasn't every day that you were given a chance to get away from it all and leave one adventure for another, especially not by someone who . . . um . . . who . . 

__

Who looked like that? a snotty little voice in the back of my mind finished. As though I were in an argument with someone real rather than myself, I glanced away and rearranged my arms on the balcony railing uncomfortably. The images flooding my mind were not merciful; I found myself bringing up the memory of him standing over me in the moonlight, his every feature highlighted in the flickering light but his eyes glittering golden. And the memory of him just this evening, battered and torn, with his shirt burned to a crisp and hanging upside-down at his waist limply. Despite the smell of burned flesh, and being beaten bloody, he had stood before me with pride and . . . 

__

Oh, come on, say it.

. . . A set of abs that I had almost blown my lid over. There. I said it.

__

What else?

Nothing.

__

Oh, come on, Kagome. You are a heterosexual female; I KNOW you didn't miss all his visual odds and ends. Unless there were too many to count.

Well I didn't notice anything except his abs.

And his chest, which, despite the mark, was chiseled and defined to the point it looked sculpted. Oh yeah, and his arms and shoulders. I had this thing for shoulders, and did he ever have them. And his face . . . so serene and calm, with the unearthly beauty that separated him from the rest of the world, heightened by the crescent moon on his forehead. It wasn't just a mark—it seemed to complete the picture, making him look dignified. Even Inuyasha, who was not unattractive, didn't hold a candle to his brother, who could be beaten to a pulp and yet look beautiful, dangerous, and proud. Not everyone can do that, you know. Yeah, okay, fine. So I noticed he was handsome. Didn't jade my actions, now, did it? Hah.

He had offered me a way out. He'd given me the exit I had begun to feel I needed: the space to get away from the person I'd loved for so long, the adventure that wasn't just looking for Shikkon jewel shards day in and day out. So why had I turned him down? God knew it would be a change, probably for the better.

I'd been well aware of the fact that I was physically attracted to him, though. Er—maybe I wouldn't go so far as to call it _attracted_, since I'd only decided to dwell on his looks a few times before, but whatever.

I sat down and let my feet dangle over the edge of the balcony, then lay on my back, gazing up at the sky. I'd never been much of a star-gazer before, but suddenly, without the light pollution that reached even the shrine in my own time, the sky looked bigger and deeper and far more beautiful that I'd ever imagined. It made me want to take a class like astronomy when the new school year started—assuming I passed this one, since I was out so much. Oh well. I wouldn't trade all this for the world. 

__

Especially not lately, huh?

I hated it when the voices in my head had a point.

*

I heard indistinct voices before I heard anything else.

" . . . I think she's dead."

"Don't be foolish, it looks like she just fell asleep out here."

"No, I seriously think she's dead."

"Oh, shut up. You're such a dork," came another voice.

I opened my eyes slowly, and the first thing I saw was a pair of fierce golden orbs staring down at me, and I broke into a sheepish smile and began to blush. Um—

Oh, never mind. "Inuyasha?" I asked with disappointment.

"Well don't sound so happy to see me or anything, you may just burst," he scowled. "Are you still mad at me or something?"

I sat up slowly and shook my head. "No, I just thought you were someone else."

"Yeah? Like who?" he challenged suspiciously.

"Like your mom," I replied childishly, rubbing my neck. I'd gotten a crick in it from falling asleep flat on my back on the balcony. Smart move, Kagome. 

"Oh get up and shut up. Listen, we're only a few hours from Kaede's village, so we're going to hit the road in a minute," he told me. "So get ready, because I'm not waiting for you."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm always ready."

"Yeah, whatever," he snorted, stalking off to do whatever it was he did when he stalked off. Probably going to sit up a tree or something.

Miroku extended a hand and helped me to my feet. "Sleep well?" he asked.

I rubbed my neck a bit more. "Like a rock. Or maybe _on_ a rock," I added. "My neck is stiff."

"I'm sorry. Would you like a massage?"

I regarded him suspiciously, but he was all innocence. "I'll pass for now, but thanks," I told him kindly.

"You know, unless you tell him straight-up no, he's gonna keep asking ," Shippou told me with a sigh. "And he only wants to give one 'cause he's horny."

"I'm most certainly offended," Miroku said in a wounded voice.

"Yeah? You're caught red-handed, is what you are," was the reply. "Would someone go get Inuyasha out of that stupid tree? He's been up there all morning, except to wake you up."

"I'll get him later," I said dismissively. "Either he'll come down of his own accord, or he'll come down of _my_ accord."

"You really like that necklace of his too much, don't you?" asked Shippou.

I shrugged. "It works when I want it to."

"You mean when he makes you mad," Miroku corrected. 

"That too."

"You really banged him up good yesterday when you yelled at him for being a jerk to Sesshoumaru, you know," Shippou commented.

"Well he was rude and ungrateful. It's about time somebody banged him up."

Miroku paused for a moment before speaking. "That disturbed him yesterday. I don't know if you could tell, but the reason he was rude to his brother was because he hadn't been able to see through the trap Naraku set. He'll be moody all day today trying to figure out how Sesshoumaru knew to get to you in time and why he did it."

"Well if we all sat around all day and tried to figure out how and why that guy does things, we'd all be moody. He needs to get over it."

"Was Sesshoumaru really at the camp the other night, or were you just trying to piss Inuyasha off?" asked Shippou curiously. "I've been meaning to ask you."

I shook my head. "No, he was really there, and he was there to kill Inuyasha and steal Tetsusuiga. What's he always trying to do when Inuyasha's involved?"

"So why didn't he?"

"Because I told him that it was cheap to kick 'em when they're down, and that it would be more interesting if he waited until Inuyasha was strong enough to make it worth his time."

"Playing to his ego?" pressed Miroku with interest.

"Playing to that bone that both he and Inuyasha have—you know, the one that makes them go and disembowel some unsuspecting demon or human. Whoever they get to first. All they ever want is a good fight." 

"You're lucky to be alive, from what Inuyasha tells me," Miroku warned.

I held up my hands. "He was a perfect gentleman, thank you very much. And I don't care what Inuyasha thinks, he did _not_ proposition me the other day."

"A dignified and mannerly assassin," Miroku said dryly. "Don't we all wish we had one."

I held my tongue on that one.

"I mean it, though—he just finished trying to kill us all, if you'll remember. He had those insects specifically to keep me from using my wind tunnel."

"I know. I don't know what changed his mind between now and then, but he certainly wasn't trying to kill me yesterday," I sighed. "I guess . . . okay, he said the other night that he could kill me and just move on, but he also said he'd spare my life. And when we were by the camp, he said to be careful in the woods at night because he didn't want some random demon to end my life when he had so generously spared it. Or something like that," I added, hoping that I hadn't just been able to remember his exact words. Even I have my limits—it was enough to reconstruct his body and his face in my own mind. "Maybe he just feels . . . I don't know, _responsible_ for me."

"Oh, Inuyasha would love that one," Shippou put in. "Should you tell him yourself, or can I? I get to see his reaction no matter what."

I grinned. "I'll give you that, it would be a sight to see, but I think we should keep that on the down-low for awhile. He already thinks that I'm having sex with his brother—he doesn't need anything else to chew on right now."

"Kagome, you yelled 'The sex was great' into the woods, right when Inuyasha confirmed that that his brother was out there," Miroku told me plainly. "Of course he thinks you're conducting some kind of affair."

"He'd blow his top, wouldn't he?" I asked with amusement. "If I really were having something with him."

"Oh, I dunno," Shippou remarked. "I think he'd take it worse than he would if you were sleeping with Miroku. He may even be okay with that, you know."

I nodded and ignored the unusual insinuation. "Yeah, he'd be pretty pissed," I agreed.

There was a moment of silence, and I could see Shippou giving Miroku an expectant look. The monk glanced at him briefly, then turned away. "Don't look at me like that."

"Cough it up, horndog," Shippou said flatly.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You said that 'if I told Kagome, however inadvertently, that having sex with you was—'"

Miroku pulled a box out of his robes and practically threw it at Shippou. "All right, fine, here you go. If you're that pushy, then keep the extras."

"Thanks, man," said Shippou, bouncing off. "Hey Kagome, we already collected your stuff. It's in a pile with everyone else's. Are you about ready to get going?"

I shrugged. "Sure, if Inuyasha feels like getting out of his tree."

We all wandered over to the tree Inuyasha had taken refuge in, and he glanced down at us with a dark look. "What do you want?" he demanded sourly.

"We're all ready to go," I told him. "Do you feel like coming down, or should we go without you?"

"I'll come down when I'm damn good and ready to," he snapped.

"How about when _I'm_ ready?"

"It's not happening."

I cleared my throat. "Sit," I said sweetly.

__

Crash!

"Dammit, Kagome! I hate it when you do that!"

"Yeah, well, I hate it when you're slow. Let's go already!"

He scowled at me. "Fine; let's go. Might as well get there anyways."

*

I sighed as we walked. It seemed that for whatever reason, Inuyasha was royally mad at me. Personally, I hadn't tried talking to him, as he'd been less than civil earlier, but both Miroku and Shippou had struck out when they tried. Miroku and I spoke in low tones a few yards behind Inuyasha, he urging me to speak up.

"It's probably got something to do with yesterday," he insisted. "And you're the only person who has luck with him anyways."

"Oh, I am not. Whatever his problem is, he'll only get crabby if any of us try to pry," I argued.

"He wants to talk about it," the monk persisted. "I can tell. He'll just be crabbier if he doesn't say anything."

"Well then why don't you talk to him!"

"I tried. It's not me he wants to talk to."

"Oh, right, and he actually _wants_ to talk to me," I scoffed.

"Well it's worth a shot," Shippou tossed back. "He can't get much worse than he is now, and we've been putting up with it for four hours now. Even if he doesn't want you to hassle him about it, the least you can do is try. There's a fifty/fifty chance he'll be easier to deal with."

"And _I'm_ the one who has to go now." 

"We've both had our turns."

"Fine. I'll give it a shot—but no guarantees," I warned them, upping my pace to catch up with Inuyasha. "You're certainly not in the best of moods," I commented cheerfully.

He scowled. "Don't talk to me."

"Are you mad at me 'cause I made you fall out of that tree?"

"No." 

"Okay . . . are you mad because Miroku's being a little pervert lately?"

"No."

"So did Shippou annoy you or something?"

"No! I don't feel like playing twenty questions, okay?" he snapped.

"All right, fine . . . are you mad at _me_, for whatever reason?"

"Kagome!" he exploded. "I _don't_ want to _talk_ about it!"

"And I don't want to hear about it, but if you're going to be like this till you get over whatever's bothering you right now, then I feel like I deserve to know if I did anything," I shot back, trying not to sound angry. "Because if I did, then I'm sorry."

"Well you don't _seem_ sorry," he mumbled.

"I would be, if I knew what to be sorry about."

"You _know_ what to be sorry about!" 

"I don't!" I protested. "Is it yesterday that you're upset about?"

"I'm not upset!"

"Just tell me!" I insisted.

"I . . ." he bit down fury. "This is the second time I've almost lost someone to Naraku and not even known it! I don't even know what really happened to Kikyo—only _he_ knows that. But I was foolish enough to be drawn away and I should have _known_ it was a trap—it was too easy. Everyone sensed something at the same time. He almost killed you—he _would_ have, if . . ."

"If Sesshoumaru hadn't shown up," I finished bitterly.

"That's right," he snarled with renewed anger, "if my bloodthirsty and murdering half-brother hadn't decided to be noble, for once in his life. You don't understand—I lost _everything_ to Naraku, Kagome. I lost things that I couldn't even dream of having now. And I almost lost someone I care about to him again. That can't happen. It just _can't._ I won't let it," he added viciously. 

"Hey. What matters now is that everyone's okay," I told him. Miroku had been right—he _had _just wanted to talk about it. That hadn't been hard at all. And I wasn't just satisfied that maybe he'd cheer up—I did still care for Inuyasha, you know. I felt how much pain Naraku was still causing him, and it hurt me too. I sighed. "So long as we all stick together, we'll stay like that," I added, reaching out and taking his hand.

The look he gave me was flatly disdainful and a bit uncomfortable, and his hand was stiff and unyielding in mine for a while, but after a few minutes he gave up and squeezed once. I was possibly the only person since Kikyo—the _real_ Kikyo, not the shells that had tormented him lately—to really care about him. Maybe even love him. But there wasn't the painful twist in my heart anymore when I held his hand that I felt before. I wasn't tormented by the fact that even if we became lovers, we would still have a chasm between us that would destroy the relationship. And I certainly wasn't tormented by the fact that we would only be friends for the rest of my life. Maybe that's how it _should_ have been, too . . . maybe we were just destined to be good friends. Possibly even friends on a level that went deeper than any lover or romantic interest could go, and one that would survive even the most dangerous of quests—which the Shikkon jewel was beginning to make for us.

Yeah. That sounded good to me.

*

Kaede sat patiently and listened to us all recount the tale of what happened in the forest, and listened to me carefully explain exactly what had happened when Sesshoumaru arrived. How many times would I explain that? This was bound to not be the last.

"So it was Sesshoumaru who battled Naraku?" she asked.

I nodded. "If my reflexes had been faster, I would have shot him dead between the eyes. But he caught me off-guard and got the upper hand." 

"From the way this sounds, it seems like he'd had the upper hand the entire time," she countered. "It was very lucky for you that Sesshoumaru showed up when he did, otherwise I have no doubts that Naraku would have killed you."

"Oh, well absolutely," I agreed. "He was actually about to—he was ready to about strangle me where I was. He's got very strong magic," I added. "I was already unable to breathe before he laid a hand on me."

Inuyasha 'hmmphed' and turned away, and I held my tongue suddenly, remembering what he'd said to me. I just wished he'd divulged a little more, but I didn't want to cause him more pain than he was already in. And to think, I'd been heartless enough to believe that Naraku was a simple blow to his ego. "Anyways, it doesn't matter," I finished quickly. "Naraku's disappeared for the time being, so all we need to worry about is sleeping and eating for awhile. And finding jewel shards," I added to Inuyasha before he could say anything. He never had any reservations of reminding me _exactly_ why I was there, for better or for worse. 

Kaede nodded, as though she understood that I wanted to change the subject, and turned to Inuyasha. "And where, might I ask, were the thee of you while this disaster unfolded?" she demanded.

He balked. "Hey! This wasn't my fault!"

"I wasn't blaming it on you. I was just asking what was so important to drag you all off and leave Kagome in a forest that is unsafe even during the day for a girl like her."

"Excuse me," I cut in, "but 'a girl like me?' Are you implying that someone like me can't make it on her own because I'm—she's young and a girl?"

"I'm not implying that at all," Kaede replied. "I was young and a girl once, hard to believe as that may be. I'm just saying that—" she sighed. "I can say this because you truly resemble my sister. You are a beautiful young lady, Kagome, and you carry the same light inside of you—the same spirit—that Kikyo carried. Evil is drawn to that like a flame, especially in a forest like that. Evil never sleeps there. Were it not Naraku, then it would have been something else."

"Hmmph. Well evil sure as hell sleeps now," Inuyasha said, "given Naraku's handiwork."

Kaede frowned. "This Naraku . . . he worries me. I have suspicions about him, but I can confirm nothing right now."

"What do you mean, you have suspicions?" pressed Inuyasha.

"Any information we can get on Naraku is information in our favor," Miroku agreed.

She shook her head. "If Naraku is who I think he is, I don't know if that makes him less of a threat or more of one. There was a man once . . . my sister cared for him. He was burned terribly, and it was she who healed him. I know naught but his name—Onigumo. But somehow or another, he became Naraku. I believe that, although Kikyo never did. But I can say nothing for certain."

"But this Onigumo—he was a man?" asked Miroku.

She sighed. "He was. Walk with me in the morning, when I am not tired, and I will tell you the sad story of Onigumo. But perhaps, if he is truly Naraku, his story is more sour than sad."

"How can a man become a demon?" Miroku mused aloud.

"Well there's a couple of ways," Inuyasha said, "but I think only he knows for sure."

"Let's just hope, for our sakes, that he keeps his distance till we've got him figured out," I said warily.

"Maybe you can hope for _your_ sake," Inuyasha growled with a blackness in his voice that frightened me, "but for his sake, he had better find me before I find him."


	4. Do I get a say in this?

Short but sweet. Okay . . . not sweet. Angsty, to say the least. A bit of insight into what's been going on in my man's head this whole time, as well as explaining actions he takes in the next chapter that Kagome doesn't exactly understand. Hell, if I were her, I wouldn't understand either. So I'm clearing up what goes through his head. I'm trying to keep him in character, but as my own worst critic, I think I'm failing miserably. I did try really hard, though. SPOILERS FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!! Lol! =) Betcha can't wait for that one . . . my my, what predicament has Kagome gotten herself into now? . . .

*

Why shouldn't I? 

That is the first question in my mind—what would be so wrong should I take the course of action that has been present in my mind since my battle with Inuyasha? The answer is almost so easy, however, that I do not press the subject.

A human has never faced me in battle and survived. I regard humans with the utmost contempt: vermin, useless, beneath my time and effort. Certainly beneath my mercy. And yet this human leveled an arrow at me and pushed the Tetsusuiga to transform again, revert back to the way it was. And had I been further off my guard, she could have killed me with another arrow. _She._ A human female dared to stand up to me in battle and challenge me. Had Inuyasha not been the first thing on my mind that night, I believe I would have killed her for even having the thought. And yet later on that very night, she stood before me again and I allowed her to live.

Why?

I am not entirely sure. I have met few women who will face me and conquer their fear by not running the opposite direction. Fewer have been mortal. None have been human. None until her.

Perhaps that is why I allowed her to go free—because she intrigues me. And she is not a fool, although she spoke directly to me without leave to do so. She invited me to kill her, even, by stating that my fool brother would not miss her, should that be my objective. I have my whims; even I do not claim to be free of them. Letting her live was one of them. And I am a proud man—I should be sorely disappointed if another demon were to revoke that mercy. Happenings like that do not encourage me to be merciful. Perhaps that is why I ensured that she returned to her campsite and companions safely, though I risked my brother sensing me.

I could care less for the challenge he presents. On that night, I wanted only the sword, and I did not give heed to what kind of fight he would put up. For all I cared, he could have rolled over and died, so long as I had the Tetsusuiga.

I did not have the excuse of mercy at my hands when I faced Naraku before her. Certainly, I had warned him early on that she was off-limits, though the context that I used that in is beyond me. I know the mind of evil, however, as I have that mind as well, and I realized only too soon that bringing up the human to Naraku was a mistake. He has already tried to deceive me once, and I will not be the fool again. So I followed him—not for the human, and not for the mercy I granted, but for the dignity I stood to lose should he kill her when I warned him not to. His bounty is with Inuyasha, and if he manages to kill the little prick, then I wish him well and will congratulate him on doing what I have been unable to. He is free to take out the monk and the little fox as well. But to go and believe I will be duped so easily is beyond my patience.

I had expected nothing of her as I battled Naraku—to be specific, I had actually expected her to run screaming when she had the chance, or to faint dead away, as has been the pattern in years past. But she did not. Foolishly, in my opinion, she remained and watched us struggle, her dark eyes wide with fascination and fear.

Damned fool. She almost lost her life for that.

Had I been a moment slower, she would have been burned to a crisp and blown away in the wind as the trees and grass were, and despite the poisonous burn in my skin, I was resolved to keep Naraku from his victory, one way or another. She would live, even if I risked my life to ensure that.

I did not expect her to aid me in treating my wounds—I had actually been unconcerned as to having them treated immediately. But she insisted. And I faltered for a moment, unsure as to whether I should turn her away like the burden she had proven to be, or accept her aid. 

Still I could not forget the fierce determination in her eyes when she fired upon me days earlier. Neither could I forget that I had been impressed with her courage. I do not know what shifted in me that night, but my disregard for humans was being slowly discredited by one who should be counted among the least. Perhaps I had put too much thought into her bravery.

Nonetheless I allowed her to place her oils on my skin. Her tiny hand, slicked with the ointment, rested in the large mark of Naraku's hand and cooled the fire almost instantly. Certainly it stung, but I keep little time for minor pains. And I watched her continue to apply it ever so carefully, somewhere along the lines of confused.

I do not claim to be mortal, nor do I claim to be human, but . . . I am a man. I am not blind to the world around me, nor to the beauty it contains. She was not the most beautiful woman I had seen, but she carried in her a fire that would not be burned out. I cannot explain what has begun to draw me to her. But as a man (mortal or otherwise) of such power as I have, I am used to getting what I want. And as though I were blinking and opening my eyes . . . I wanted her. 

So why not? Why should I ignore this? Why should I ignore her now, as she stands before me with nothing separating us but my own stubborn will? I have seen her look at me these past moments, and I see her face burn with the embarrassment of doing so—I know she desires me, even if she does not know it herself. She does not know many things—she does not know that I am inches now from tearing off the scant material that covers her and taking her here and now, though whether I mean to take her away or simply take her is a mystery. Hot springs are supposed to be a sedative, not a stimulant . . . and yet here we are, and the choice is mine. I am above question in my lands . . . I would not be challenged should I take a step forward and pull her to me.

I _will not_. I am Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands and am above such foolish things as toying with humans. They are vermin. They are still beneath me. And a human so slight as this one would do nothing but become a burden to my mind. I will speak my mind to her and leave. She is trespassing in my land; she will be lucky should she survive the trip.

So why then do I reach out for her suddenly? Why do I not cease this madness where it is? . . . And why can I not bring myself to remove her from my arms now? . . .


	5. I've Got a Disease

Very mild citrus. Lol, what did you expect after a chapter like that last one? What else could put poor Sesshoumaru through that kind of angst? . . . I told you there would be plenty of him in the next chapters . . . Although he does suffer a slight crisis of either conscience or dignity—he's not entirely sure about it himself. Let's see where this leads, shall we? More Sesshoumaru angst at the end of the chapter!

*

****

Kagome's POV

We didn't stay at Kaede's for very long, and were out the door the next day, but Kaede felt that she ought to come with us, and so our quartet went to a . . . a quintet, I guess. Our pace was slowed slightly, since she wasn't quite the strapping youth she had been fifty years ago, but no one complained, and it not only seemed to make the trip go by faster, but we seemed to cover more land than before. Who knows? With Kaede, anything was possible.

She insisted on traveling with us because she had heard of a man with powers like a demon that had passed by her village only days before, headed west, and she suspected it was a jewel shard. But these days, anyone with unusual powers was under suspicion of carrying a jewel shard, so I didn't know how seriously to take it. Serious or not, however, we headed west. I should have been tipped off as to where we would end up, but clueless me! Of course not. I just started walking to the sunset and didn't think twice about it.

We walked for days, sometimes sleeping outside under the stars, sometimes sleeping in the nicest places you could think of. It all depended on if Kaede could stop Miroku from preaching about his 'black cloud' or not. I kept a close eye on Inuyasha, if only out of habit, watching his moods to see if anything was _really_ wrong, or if it was nothing he couldn't sort out himself.

All our spirits began to drop, though, as the lands grew darker. Not in actual appearance, mind you, but just in feeling. They seemed . . . wilder. The farther west we traveled, the more ominous the land seemed to grow. And after a while, even Kaede didn't object to getting under a roof at night, even if it was a lie that got us there.

I sat cross-legged as Miroku tossed stones into a small fish pond one evening, arguing silently over whether I should take advantage of the private hot springs our current location offered or not. We were staying in a nice little place at the base of a mountain, and a river of melted snow ran down through the lands below, definitely colder than the air outside, and indoors, villagers and businesses had taken advantage of the volcano's active heart and used the hot springs that bubbled up from the ground as a tourist attraction. This mountain range was actually known both East and West for it's abundant hot springs, and we were definitely not in the worst of it. 

"Inuyasha has been awfully quiet lately," Miroku commented as he flicked his wrist and sent a flat stone dancing across the surface of the water.

"He's been thinking about Naraku," I said thoughtfully. "It's haunting him lately, you know."

"What, the fact that you're virtually his long-dead priestess born again, and even this time Naraku has it in for you?" he asked dryly. "I don't see what's so haunting about that."

The sarcasm hung in the air, although he didn't mean it maliciously. "Well you know how he gets. What he really needs, more than rest or exercise or even food, is to face Naraku for better or for worse. This is eating him up. But you didn't hear that from me," I added.

"Hear what?" he asked innocently, reaching down for another stone. "And as for you, you've been very reserved these last few days, too."

I shrugged. "Kaede has that kind of mellowing effect," I admitted. "I know I don't really have Kikyo's memories or anything, but it just feels . . . well, complete when we're around her. I guess that got left behind in me."

"And that's it?" he asked skeptically. "You seem to me like you've got a lot on your mind."

"All right, Mr. Nosy, I've been thinking a lot lately, and to be honest . . ." I had no intention of telling him who and what was on my mind. "The biggest dilemna is whether I should use those hot springs or not. It's so cold out lately that I'm really tempted to, but I just don't know."

"To help you out with that one, I think you should definitely use them, but I also think that we are in dangerous land. Whatever you choose to do, I would recommend that you not do it alone. I would be happy to accompany you to the hot springs," he continued, "as a bodyguard and a companion."

He was so slick. He just didn't let up, did he?

I sighed. "We'll see."

*

I did decide later on that evening to take up the offered hot springs, but I did not do so with Miroku. I left Inuyasha, Kaede, and Shippou in charge of him to ensure that I had some privacy, and I think that after Miroku protested that he simply wanted to ensure my safety (which would involve me being strip-searched, I'm sure), Inuyasha threw him in the river—with the best of intentions, of course. The parting words from Inuyasha were "Go sit in a tub of ice, you horndog of a monk," and then he was unceremoniously dumped into the melted snow. He later defended himself by stating that he was doing Miroku a favor, and that at least he'd be able to walk the next morning. I'm not sure whether he meant that in reference to him beating the poor monk up or not.

I slipped into the almost unbearably hot water in only a bra and panties, since I didn't want to go totally nude but had reservations about being fully clothed as well. The housekeeper or whatever had placed towels by the side of the rocky hole that passed as a tub and left me to my privacy. I stretched my arms out and relaxed, content in looking up at the sky that was spotted with stars. The constellations were all the same as my own time, but the ones I recognized rose slightly earlier than I was used to, so I just stared up.

God, this place was nice. I'd never been in a real hot spring—well, not one that wasn't doctored with chemicals to filter out any unwanted minerals, anyways. This was probably great for my skin.

I slipped into the water until it was neck-deep, shivering at the icy wind that came down the mountain. Yes, the little jacuzzi was outside, in the chilly wind, but out of sight from nosy peeping Toms. I was beginning to feel too relaxed to swim around, and also the water was just too hot to move much in, so I picked a spot and just draped my arms on the side and hung there.

I wished fiercely that Naraku had never shown up in the forest that day—Naraku, Onigumo, whoever he was. Or _what_ever he was. Maybe on some level he'd been driven to speak to me because I looked like Kikyo, but I suspected it was more about hurting Inuyasha. Once he found his scent all over me, it seemed to make up his mind that he'd kill me. I don't know if he would have, if I'd been a wandering priestess or something who eerily resembled Kikyo.

. . . 

God, would her ghost quit haunting us all?! From the way it sounded, she had loved Inuyasha too much to just shoot him and leave him in a tree the way he had been—but she had. There was some piece of the puzzle that I knew I was missing, but it eluded me. The wildest of circumstances rose in my mind, and I tried to justify all of them. Had Kikyo been possessed—by Naraku, maybe? It was obvious that whatever had transpired, he'd been up to his nose in, but I didn't know how. Or perhaps he had found shape-shifting demons to play the part of Kikyo and deal with Inuyasha. Unless . . . Naraku could change shapes himself? . . . 

Nah. We would have known.

This sucked.

But there was my point exactly: whether in body or mind, Kikyo's spirit would not die. At first it had been a part of me, but then there was that whole disaster with taking her soul and placing it into a replica of her body. I suspected that before her, Inuyasha had shied away from love and romance greatly—not because of his hatred for humans, but because on some level, I had the suspicion that he was shy. All guys are, especially when it comes to girls, but I think they all handle it differently. Some guys are cute and bashful around girls, some guys avoid girls altogether and are happy as renegades or untouchables. I guessed that Inuyasha kept his distance, as I could never see him as bashful.

But the strangest people can turn up bashful . . . 

__

Nope. Not going there, not doing that. You have been dwelling on that since it happened—really. Find something new to ogle. Don't get your brain stuck on the same old thing, or else you'll be sorely disappointed when he shows up to kill Inuyasha and probably you.

Oh shut up. I'm not in the mood.

__

Seriously. You've done that before—every time Inuyasha would look at you, you'd dream about the fractional softening in his eyes. Whenever he would bitch at you to stay away from a fight, you'd be moved that he cared about you. It can't happen again. It's even less likely to happen with Sesshoumaru than it was with Inuyasha. Don't set yourself up again.

Voices of logic and reason suck. I sighed. Fine; I burst my own bubble before I could even get in the swing of things. I was actually amazed at how, thus far, I had managed to keep from daydreaming about him—not to say I didn't want to, but I have my limits. On some levels, I do agree with my voice of reason about some stuff: the reason I didn't let my imagination get too far with me was because I knew I would only be hurt and disappointed in the end, especially if I let go unchecked the idea that he possibly had an ulterior motive for stepping in and saving me. And for not killing me. And for inviting me to go with him . . . 

__

Hello, for your own safety! There's a difference between manners and attraction, you know.

Asshole. Sometimes I hated my own rationality. But it was things like that little voice that kept me sane, especially here, far from home, family, and gossiping, shallow, lovable friends.

I kept my eyes closet and pinched the bridge of my nose to ward off my coming headache, and let out a heaving sigh. This wasn't good for my migraines—which I didn't get, actually, but I could bet money that one was coming on. Great—peachy. I was lost in my own head, torn between my voice of reason and my desire for drastic change. Where to go, who to follow . . . "Oh, man," I groaned. "Where in the hell am I?" A rhetorical question, of course.

So of course, when I was answered, I almost screamed and shot out of the tub—or lunged at the speaker, sure that it was Miroku, being a bit more persistent. But I did none of the above, once I opened my eyes and got a good, long look at the invader in question.

"You," he told me, "are currently trespassing on my lands. Inuyasha is banned from the Western Lands, and I do not appreciate him ignoring what was set up long ago." Wow. The brotherly love could be felt miles away.

I felt my breath leave my lungs in a mighty _whoosh_. "We didn't know," I began unsteadily. "We were in pursuit of a man who may have a jewel shard, and . . . um . . . here we are."

Sesshoumaru's arms were crossed over his bare chest, and he did not look very forgiving. In fact, he looked . . . um, angry. Really angry, to be specific. Shit—at me? But the dark look only seemed to enhance his beauty . . . stop it! I couldn't tell, as the water went up to the middle of his stomach, whether he was wearing anything or not below the waist—not that I was looking. _Thank God I haven't daydreamed about him or deluded myself_, I thought dryly. _I'm such a dork . . . 'Oh, hi, little voice of ration. Why no, of course I haven't been thinking about him naked or anything. _So what had I done this time? "I was only recently informed of your arrival. When did you enter my lands?"

"I don't know. I don't really know where they start and stop, so I can't answer that." My eyes strayed from his own to rest briefly to his chest. "That burn healed up nicely."

"I told you, I heal quickly."

"I didn't doubt it," I countered. "I was commenting. So do you keep a lookout on whoever comes and goes here?"

"I make it my business to know who travels in my land," he said shortly. "And when a company such as yours passes through without my leave to do so, I should hope I find out about it as soon as possible."

"We didn't mean to trespass," I told him in our defense. "We just started following the guy, and we ended up here for the night. I'm sure we won't even be here that long—Inuyasha wants to be moving again tomorrow morning, and you can't get mad at us for a simple accident." To make myself seem a little taller and a little more difficult to walk all over, I stood up part of the way into my argument and put my hands on my hips.

He stiffened when I stood up, eyeing me carefully and hiking up a tactful eyebrow after a moment. I didn't quite understand what he was looking at, until I glanced down and remembered what I was wearing—next to nothing. Well . . . fuck. That was about the only word that could cover it. _Fuck_. 

The bra, which I had bought carelessly, was white and nearly sheer even when it was dry—it was one of those things you grab at a cheap store that you don't expect anyone to see, you know? I hadn't cared when I bought it that it was a sort of shimmery pearly silk stuff that constituted as solid only because the material caught the light and diverted the eyes. Now, however, there was no really big light to make it shimmer, and the only thing it did was turn into plastic wrap or wax paper or something like that. I cursed in my own mind . . . but at least I wasn't naked. It could definitely be worse.

I sank back down in the water quickly, submerging myself up to my neck and crossing my arms to ensure that nothing was visible through the water. But I shouldn't have worried; bubbles flurried up in swirling patterns around us both, and they obscured the view of both myself and him. I cleared my throat nervously, but he regarded me with contempt. "Do you feel shame for what you wear?" he asked me.

I balked. "Excuse me, but I didn't quite expect you to come barging in while I'm getting the first relaxing soak in a hot tub since I came over here, thanks a lot. So excuse me if I'm not feeling exactly presentable."

"These are my territories. I come and go as I wish," he replied smartly. "These springs, however, are considered sacred to the people who I allow to dwell in these lands. You are to enter them with a clean mind and a clean body. To ensure that the gods who granted them these gifts are not angered, clothing is not traditionally worn. Although should you enter these springs for purposes of cleansing, I was under the impression that you wore nothing when you bathed."

"So you're saying I should have gone in naked," I scoffed. "And that would have made me _so _much more presentable when you snuck up on me!"

"I am simply a man of tradition."

"Oh, so what do you . . ." I trailed off. He stuck with tradition? Great. Guess I knew what he had on under the water. Peachy. I was alone in a steaming basin with a very not-dressed Sesshoumaru. 

Well there went my not-fantasizing vow. 

Like it had ever held up.

I searched for my tongue again. "Never mind."

"You never answered me. Does the garment you wear shame you?"

I shrugged, burning bright red. "I . . . I just don't usually wear it by itself. You know . . . it goes under stuff." This was getting too weird. His eyes were burning holes in me. I rose out of the water a little bit, but not a whole lot—_certainly_ not as much as before. I kept a close watch on his eyes, in hopes I could tell what he was thinking. If I was the embodiment of Kikyo, I had damn well better have some of her priestess gifts. Maybe the ability to read the soul through the eyes was one of them, too. Because if I got jilted on my talents right now . . . I might just go crazy.

He seemed to be having an internal struggle of sorts, although over what, I couldn't tell. I bit my lip nervously and waited for him to say something. "Then I take it you are not comfortable in what you wear now."

"Not entirely. But comfort doesn't regulate what I do," I added with a little bit of bravery (not a lot). "I deal with uncomfortable stuff all the time, and I'm doing just fine."

He reached out suddenly, and had I anywhere else to back up, I would have. But I was up against the wall as it was, so I was out of luck. His knuckle touched the bottom of my chin, and he tilted my chin up so that I was looking him directly in the eye, not just watching him cautiously. I froze with a little bit of panic and a lot more with the electricity that shot through my body as he came so close to me that I could feel him radiating a heat that was more potent than the steam.

"Do you fear me, human?" he asked, looking almost straight down at me.

I swallowed and built up the strength to lie, shaking my head 'no.'

"Then you are a fool," he growled as he brought his lips down to claim mine.

Before any coherent thought came to my head, a snide comment arose and delivered a snotty little blow to my voices of logic and reason._ So what was this about not building my hopes up? . . . _

And then came awareness. He was . . . he was seriously, honestly, truly kissing me! This was _not_ happening—I couldn't let it. If I let him kiss me, I would have no control over the rest of my life. It was that simple. Domino effect—_pull back, Kagome. Pull away from him and get out of the water and walk right back to your room, where Inuyasha and Miroku and Shippou and Kaede are. Get out and put an end to this_.

It started out hard and impersonal, as though he was proving a point, but when it's so . . . I don't know, when it's a situation like the one we were in, it can't stay like that for very long. Slowly, gradually, he began to soften against me, his hands dropping to my waist and pulling me to him with a gentleness that I hadn't known a demon lord could possess, certainly not him. 

But not even a moment after he had embraced me, his muscles hardened and he pulled away—no, more like he pushed away. It wasn't like I'd initiated the contact or anything; why pull as though he was making _me_ stop? No, he definitely seemed to push himself back.

"You and your party will depart from my lands in the morning," he told me quietly, but with definite (and terrifying) firmness that alarmed me. He sounded . . . angry. _What??_ I hadn't—

"You will not return to the Western Lands, not even if a jewel shard should pass here and you pursue it," he continued. "I have no desire to see your company nor yourself here again. Should you choose to disregard my wishes, you shall sorely regret it."

I stared at him, stunned. "Are you threatening me?"

"I'm warning you."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes—he didn't seem in the best of moods suddenly. "Um—"

Arms grabbed my shoulders and pinned me to the edge of the springs. "You will not speak of this to another," he growled, very close to my face. "You will say nothing!"

Schizophrenic much? 

The dry thought belied my absolute confusion, surprise, definite fear, and pain. I didn't get it—"I'm not saying anything!" I exclaimed, trying to wriggle free of his grip. "I get it!"

"Then be gone!" he snarled.

"If you'd let me go, I'd be gone faster than you can blink!"

His grip on me lessened fractionally. "Hope that you do not see me again," he said grimly. "For I hope to not see you again." And in a blink—as quickly as he had seemed to appear, he was gone.

I put a hand to my lips, which still burned, then, disregarding the hot water, sank beneath the surface and considered drowning myself.

Was it possible to die of mixed emotions?

*

I stood out in the cold pre-dawn darkness that was lit only by torches along the riverbed and the quarter moon, over a hundred arrows at my disposal and my bow clutched in my hand. _Phsing_, went the thirtieth arrow as it sailed across the river and hit a willow tree probably a hundred yards away. _Phsing_, went the thirty-first arrow, landing not more than a foot from its predecessor and surrounded by at least twenty others. My hands shook with barely-suppressed fury, and this was the only way I could think of to release anger.

Footsteps from behind me made me spin around, bow ready and my aim pretty accurate thus far. I let out a sigh when Miroku came out of the darkness and held up his hands in surrender. "You can shoot me if you must, but you'll miss me tomorrow," he told me.

I sighed and turned back to the tree I was shooting at. "You scared me."

"My apologies. We've been worried about you—after you didn't come back from the hot spring earlier, we didn't know where you'd gone."

__

Phsing.

"I wanted to be alone."

"Oh. Very understandable, but I wish you'd said something. This place isn't safe—you really shouldn't wander off alone." This time he wasn't coming on to me—maybe he was too tired. It _was _pretty early.

__

Phsing.

"Yeah, I know," I said thinly. "We've entered the Western Lands, did you know that?"

"Actually, no I—"

__

Phsing.

"I didn't know that," he finished. "You're not okay," he said slowly.

"No," I agreed, my teeth clenched, "I'm not. I am mad as hell."

"About what?"

"Nothing." Although at that moment, 'nothing' was beginning to remind me of hungry lips on mine, capturing my mouth as though it had always belonged to . . . 

__

Phsing.

This time the arrow flew out into the blackness of the woods, missing the mark as my drawing hand began to shake. I dropped the bow to my side, uncertain as to whether I was angry at Sesshoumaru . . . or at myself, for suddenly thinking that it was possible. For thinking that a voice of logic would ever be wrong about the big stuff. For thinking that he was . . . 

He wasn't attracted to me. He felt nothing for me.

__

Then why did he kiss me? . . . 

"Doesn't look like nothing to me," Miroku told me gently.

My hand wavered and I nearly dropped the bow completely, but I whipped out another arrow angrily. "It might as well be!" I said furiously, pulling back and releasing the arrow across the river. It landed right in the middle of a large knot I had been shooting at, splitting an older bull's-eye arrow right down the middle. I threw the bow down and hurled a rock as hard as I could at the river. It didn't even make it across.

I plopped down on the ground heavily and put my head in my hands. "I don't want to talk about it."

He sat down and put his back to mine, reclining and letting me recline as well. "Did something happen?"

"Just some routine humiliation," I muttered. 

That's exactly what it was, too: humiliation. I was embarrassed because . . . well duh, it seemed to me like I'd thrown myself at him, if only because I didn't shove him backwards! And I should have. It would have at least spared some dignity. "I just want to get out of these Godforsaken lands," I sighed. "You know, forget the jewel shard, forget chasing that guy . . . forget it all. What's one jewel shard going to do for us right now anyways? I just want to leave."

"I take it you're not going to tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Why the sudden change of heart," he explained. "You were as up to this as any of us. So why give up now?"

"Just trust me when I say 'you don't want to know.'"

He sighed just as heavily. "I never trust women when they say that. It always translates to 'Sorry, Miroku, but I made out with someone else.'"

I said nothing. He didn't need the nasty details anyways.

*

The minute we got back to our flat, Inuyasha was right down our throats. "Hey, wow, thanks a lot, Kagome! The whole disappearing act was really appreciated! Did you even go to the hot springs, or did you think it would be cool to just run around like a chicken with it's head cut off?"

"Hey, back off," I snapped. "I've had a bad night."

"It can't be that bad," he scoffed. "You had us all worried sick—for all we knew, something had happened to you!"

"And how do you know that it _wasn't_ that bad?" I demanded, suddenly furious. "How do you know anything about the night I've had, huh? Can you even begin to _guess_? No, I didn't think so! I haven't slept at _all_, I feel like the damned biggest fool in the world, and I feel—"

Like I'm still in grade-school? Humiliated? Embarrassed beyond belief? 

"—Like shit!"

That's one way to put it.

"So please, spare me the pain of starting on me!" I finished angrily.

Miroku cleared his throat, and Inuyasha's fierce gaze fixed on him. "I agree," he said calmly. "I know how eager you are to get after that jewel shard, but do you know where we are?"

I stared at him in surprise—he was backing me up on this?

He shrugged. "I don't care, as long as we get the shard."

"We're in the Western Lands," Miroku told him smoothly. "Your brother's territory."

"And apparently, from what I understand," I added, "you're nothing short of banned from here, and have been for a while now."

He set his jaw. "If Sesshoumaru has a problem with it, he can take it up with me."

"_I _have a problem with it," Miroku countered. "I say we forget the jewel shard for now and focus on Naraku. While we chase shadows and possible shards, he could well be planning an attack on us. How can we be sure that we're not being tricked the same way we were last time? A jewel shard that coincidentally makes a dash for the Western Lands, days after Naraku tries to kill Kagome and is only stopped by Sesshoumaru? It sounds too planned. I for one say that we get the hell out of here and forget anything that happened here. We can't run the risk of something happening to Kagome again," he continued. "There are no guarantees that we can get to her in time should something go wrong."

Inuyasha snorted. "Like my brother hasn't been handy the last time there was a problem."

"Hey!" I exploded. "I'm not going to rely on your brother every time something bad happens, especially not lately, okay? If Miroku feels like leaving, then I say we follow. But don't you _dare_ make me rely on your brother for anything!" 

Inuyasha took a step back. "Fine, if you're all going to gang up on me!" he snapped. "I don't feel like getting an invitation from Sesshoumaru telling me to leave, anyways. But I'm not letting you stop every ten minutes to sleep, either," he told me irritably. 

I shrugged. "I don't care."

"Actually, Inuyasha, it would be just as easy if you carried her," Kaede put in. I hadn't even realized she was awake. "And certainly faster."

He eyed me. "Only if you promise not to pull anything funny."

I raised my hands. "I'm done with funny stuff. I've had my fill." I waited for a moment to hear him tell me that I would be riding on his back again, but he unfolded his arms and sighed as though the world was stupid and he was tortured.

"Fine," he sighed, "I'll carry you. But if my arms fall asleep, I'm going to drop you and wake them up," he added warningly.

I shrugged. "Doesn't matter. Thanks."

And that was that.

*

****

Sesshoumaru's POV

__

I will not!

The words resounded in my brain suddenly. No . . . I would not! I would not give in to this—I was Sesshoumaru, mightiest of the demon lords, and I _would not_ be entranced by a simple human!

But another part of me knew better, even as I had to wrench myself back. If this continued . . . if I did not end it where it was . . . I would not stop. So I stopped it there and made it very clear, in as few words as possible, that she was not welcome in my land.

I stood outside much later, unmoving as I watched the sky fade to dawn. I was a fool. A weak, impulsive fool who allowed a human to contaminate my thoughts for even a moment. I was not attracted to her. I felt nothing for her! _Why then did you save her from Naraku?_

Pride. He could not use her to spite me.

__

And why beseech her to join you?

She . . . she was not safe with my brother . . . _Why did you care?_ I did not! _You saved her from Naraku and invited her to travel with you. You did not kill her the night she stood against you in battle—not as a victim, but as an equal. Why let her live?_

I did not care whether she lived or died then. She was nothing to me.

__

Could it be respect? No human has faced you in battle and lived to tell the tale. She did not fear you as you faced off. And she did not fear you as much as she should have in the woods. Thrice has she stood before you and lived. How many more times?

None. It will happen no more.

__

Because you plan to never see her again. For the sake of her life, or your pride?

If this was a conscience speaking to me, then I did not like it.

__

Three times, mighty Lord. Three times she has lived and walked away. Twice have you indulged yourself. Once have you stood at the edge of control. Is that why you avoid her now?

I avoid her because I tire of her presence.

__

Tell me, O Mighty One, who do you enjoy lying to more—the human, or yourself?

I am no one's fool, especially not my own! And I will indulge in this mockery no longer.

__

You shall see her again, Lord of the West. You have something she desires. She and her fellowship will come after the jewel shard you possess. She is only gone for now. Someday, I look forward to your next meeting. Where then will your indifference be? Will you still have no cares as to whether she lives or dies? 

I shall not bother myself with her. And damn you for tormenting me so.

__

Tell me . . . her lips were sweet, were they not?

I was as cursed a fool as my father before me.


	6. Unease

Disgustingly short chapter. Actually, don't even consider this a chapter! Think of it as a sort of . . . a sort of filler. It's setting the stage for everything that happens next, which is a lot. To summarize the next few chapters, which will be longer: Two years have passed. We run into Sesshoumaru, we run into Naraku, we go for broke in the fight against Naraku. But whose side will Sesshoumaru end up on? He has a nasty temper, after all . . . So. Await my next update, which will be soon. And it will definitely be longer than this chapter. This is just setting the stage. But it's a good cliffy, I think.

*

I gradually put the incident with Sesshoumaru behind me (yes, I had gone far enough to call it an 'incident'). Time passed—a lot of time. Maybe too much time, even. The silly bet between myself and Inuyasha still remained in the air—or forgotten, whichever suits you best. Our group, which didn't often include Kaede, went from four to five with the addition of Sango, our very own supermodel with an attitude and a boomerang to back it up. She was tough—and cool. Not like the Mary Sue's that we ran into a lot, who wished they could be everything Sango was—she just _was_. And she had it in for Naraku (oh yeah, and Miroku, but I'm not supposed to know that. Shh! Big secret. Badly kept, too.).

Things seemed to be wrong with our journey, though. For every jewel shard we had, Naraku had two. For every step closer we came to defeating him, he came two steps closer to getting the final drop on us (sometimes it felt like three). I had a feeling in my gut that it wasn't supposed to be like this—we should have destroyed him long ago, taken his jewel shards, and been done with it, but it just kept on going. It went on for what seemed like lifetimes—which in reality was only about two years, but still. When your group morale is centered around someone who acts like he has PMS all month, it can get painful. 

But not unbearable.

I poked at our fire one night not long after I turned seventeen—finally. I didn't have my driver's license or anything, since I wasn't in my own time enough to take the class, but the euphoria of being sixteen and then being seventeen made up for it. I was getting closer—to what, I didn't know, but I was definitely getting closer to it.

Sango had a fish that constituted as still alive skewered on a stick and held over the fire as I stared into the flames thoughtfully. I had grown up a bit and everyone had noticed—you can't stay fifteen forever, you know. I watched the fish wriggle around on the stick and felt a distinct sickness creep up from my stomach when I decided that fish screams must be silent, since the poor fish was probably screaming its head off. I glanced back down at the flames to keep from watching it continue on the slow and painful path of being cooked alive.

Disgusting.

"Couldn't you have killed it before you cooked it?" I asked with a sigh.

Sango glanced up at me. "Killed what?"

"The fish. That can't be humane," I told her. "How would you like it if you had a stick crammed up your butt and then roasted over a fire?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. Are you implying that I'm a fish?"

"No, I'm just saying . . . you know, if you _were_ a fish, would you want that to happen?"

"If I were a fish," she said smoothly, "I would avoid me and therefore not have to worry about it."

I shook my head. "Sure. Sounds good to me." I sounded like a member of the Green Peace.

Inuyasha came up and sat on a rock that was by the fire, and Miroku popped up close in tow. "Okay, here's the plan," he declared.

Shippou gave him a skeptical look. "Uh . . . so where did you two disappear to?"

"The nearest village," Miroku explained. "To see what we could get on Naraku."

"And?"

"And he passed through here two days ago. They're holding the funerals tomorrow," Miroku told us dryly. "In case you were looking for a pattern."

"Oh, we've found one," Sango said just as dryly. "We're not stupid, you know."

I flinched. "You know, we get a little closer to him every day," I commented with a shiver. "Gosh, I miss the good old days when we weren't the only two groups with jewel shards." We had long since collected all the jewel shards that Naraku didn't have and now we were thinking on the same lines as he was. All the jewel shards in either our possession or his.

All except one.

And that's where Naraku was going: the West. We were following him.

To the last place I wanted to go.

In search of the last person I wanted to see.

Hey, I have dignity. Not a lot, but I've got some left. I wasn't eager to put it on a plate and hand it to Inuyasha's brother again.

"So how far from Sesshoumaru's fortress are we?" I asked.

Inuyasha shrugged. "A day, two at most. I hope no one expects him to give us all hugs and kisses when we show up," he added. 

"Did anyone think about how we're supposed to get the shard?" asked Sango. "I for one don't think he'll just hand it to us if we go up and politely ask him for it."

"She has a point," Miroku agreed.

Sango glanced away. "Yeah, well."

"How _do_ we get the shard?" I wondered aloud. "It's what's kept his arm on for two years—he's not going to want to part with it."

"Well hey, Kagome, you could bat your eyelashes really big and pretty-like at him," said Inuyasha sarcastically, "and then maybe he'll give it to you nice and easy. He may even let you keep the arm it's attached to."

I made a face. "Really funny. You're a regular comedian, did you know that?"

"We'll get the shard from him the way we get everything from him," he snapped, "and that's by having me kick his ass and mop the floor with his head till he says 'uncle.' That's the only way anything ever gets done with him."

"If he hasn't grown stronger since you last fought him," Miroku countered. "We haven't heard one thing about him since that day in the forest."

"When Naraku attacked Kagome?" asked Sango.

We nodded. "Oh, sure, there have been rumors," Miroku continued, "but nothing I believe. For example, someone said he had a daughter—of course, there were no names given about the child or the mother, but it's always like that. It's nothing I take seriously. Now the rumor about his sword . . . I don't know. It seems ironic that he would have a sword of healing, but I can't disprove it one way or another. All we know is that he's had no official dealings with Naraku since the jewel shard and his arm."

"And that's all that matters," I added. "If he were working with Naraku . . . trust me, many bad things would have happened by now. I think it's safe to say that while he won't exactly kill us on the spot, he won't be happy to see me. Us," I amended. "Any of us. Especially Inuyasha."

Great save.

"And here I thought you were his favorite person," Inuyasha muttered.

I rolled my eyes. "No, I think you are."

"I'm not the one he slept with."

"I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HIM! It was one incident where he happened to be in the right place at the right time!"

"Like where, your pants?"

"Oooohh—sit! You are such a jerk! I was never attracted to your brother, okay?"

"Half," came the muffled mutter from the ground after a mighty crash.

"Oh, whatever. The point is, I never did anything with him, so leave me alone—you necropheliac!"

I only used the Kikyo reference because it no longer hit as close to home with him as it used to, and the desired effect was for him to spew out obscenities—which he did, but he was having a little trouble peeling himself out of the ground, so they were barely discernable. But he wasn't truly pissed off at me or anything, which was why I used them every now and then.

"Jailbait," came the distinct word from the ground.

"Sit!"

No more words flitted up from the earth for a few moments.

"Kagome," began Miroku, "we really don't stand a chance against Sesshoumaru if you keep hammering Inuyasha into the ground until he's beaten bloody."

"If he'd be nice," I said flatly, "then I wouldn't beat him bloody."

"Oh go blow your lid!" came Inuyasha's voice.

"Cork it, Fido!"

"Hey!" cut in Sango. 

"She started it," Inuyasha said from the ground, where he had gotten all his limbs loose except his head, which was stuck and so he had planted his feet and hands to try and un-stick it.

"I did not! You started it!"

"Well I'm going to finish it," Sango said coolly. "Unless you two can be mature adults and resolve it yourselves."

"I'm going for a walk," I muttered. "I'll pick up some more firewood or something."

"Sounds good," Sango agreed in a motherly voice that amused me. "Don't wander far."

"Okay, Mom," I told her as I hopped over a rock and began searching for sticks and logs. 

A voice in the back of my mind. _Do not walk these woods alone after dark, or you will meet those less merciful that I._ God, why did that always pop into my head when I was alone? It wasn't like bad stuff _always_ happened to me. Besides, I could still see the glow of the campfire and hear Miroku seriously hitting on Sango while at the same time pretending he was just kidding. I ought to have locked the two of them in a room together—then maybe the sexual tension wouldn't be so rampant. I didn't know if anything would ever come of their flirtation after the jewel was completed, but it seemed like they would be happy together, even if only for a little while.

__

Do not walk these woods alone after dark . . . 

I wasn't walking far. And it wasn't like Sesshoumaru was going to pop up out of the forest and kill me or anything.

__

Or you will meet those less merciful than I . . . 

Oh cork it! I wasn't doing anything dangerous!

So of course, right as that thought popped into my head, a voice spoke up from the darkness, and I felt real, true, honest-to-God terror rip through me.

"I thought you were told never to return to the Western Lands."

Oh God. I was really, really in a lot more trouble than I could have even imagined.

*

Oh no! Who's in the woods with Kagome? Gee, let's take a guess . . . 


	7. Going With the Flow

Just warning you . . . we kinda jump into this. What better way to introduce Sesshoumaru this chapter than to have him put up with Inuyasha right off the bat? And no one quite guessed who was with Kagome . . . if anyone wonders about why Sesshoumaru doesn't do a whole lot of warm-and-fuzzy thinking in Kagome's direction . . . hello! Why would he? If denial were just a river in Egypt, he'd be up it without a paddle. Once again, I hope you can all suffer through my fight scenes all right. It's really damn bad. **If anyone could email me and give me ANY information on Sesshoumaru's sword, I would be so appreciative!!**

And OMG! Did Celyia review me??!! I've been addicted to 'Falling Stars' and 'Forget Me Not' since I found them—FMN is my total favorite!!!! You rock so much! There's no way you're praising *me,* man! I can't even begin with you—your story rocks! (Does her 'we're not worthy' routine) I've been peeing my pants waiting for the next chapter!

.ALSO, there is an alternate version to the citrus a few chapters earlier . . . definitely more spicy, but it didn't go where I wanted it to go, so I mellowed it out and ended up with what you read. If anyone would like the _harder_ citrus and then the revised conversation with Miroku that followed, email me and ask! It was definitely enough to make me re-consider my rating. But no lemon. Just snark and some Miroku. 

Btw, if no one noticed, I do so love Miroku almost as much as I love Sesshoumaru

* 

****

Sesshoumaru 

For the first time in a very long time, I had nothing to do. There were no wars, no land disputes . . . not even a demon who annoyed me to torment. Certainly, I could put Jaken to some sort of use in the latter department, but when he was tormented, _I_ was tormented if only because he annoyed me so damned much. Were he not a faithful vassal that I couldn't get rid of, I would have disposed of him long ago.

And he was proving adept in childcare lately, anyways.

Rin, in the meanwhile, was learning to drop the habit of speaking in the third-person. For a very long time after she had joined me, she had referred to herself in the third-person and thus never ceased to irritate me when she talked. But she was growing out of it. Slowly.

I looked down from the tower I had wandered into after hours of restless pacing when I smelled the disturbance. Actually, I smelled the _disturber_ or the _disturbed_, as happened to be the case. Four figures—three large, one small—were cutting their way through an entourage of guards that had flocked out to capture them. I wasn't sure who the bigger fools were; the quartet or the guards.

A glimmer of light from below, like sunlight reflecting off the blade of a sword. _Tetsusuiga._ Five demons fell in one elegant sweep of the blade—if not slightly clumsy. One would have thought Inuyasha would learn to properly wield a sword in two years. Really. He insulted the honor of the sword itself by simply touching it. But he handled it well enough to cut a path for himself and the little bouncing fox-demon. The monk was holding his own, as well, considering the fact that he had not unleashed the wind tunnel Naraku had spoken to me of. Had he done so, there would have been little my men could do against him.

Among them was a girl with black hair—Kagome? No. She moved differently—just as elegantly, but with a lethal step that the other lacked. She moved like a warrior. And she carried a boomerang barely smaller than she, if not slightly larger. And she killed the demons encircling them with one mighty sweep after another.

I had heard of warriors like hers—demon exterminators with unrivalled skill. But I had been under the impression that all had been . . . er . . . _exterminated_ . . . themselves—by Naraku, no less. It seemed he had been keeping himself busy, collecting jewel shards as though he needed them to survive. I myself had been expecting him to arrive soon to demand the jewel shard he had 'loaned' me before—my fists clenched at the thought, possibly out of reflex when thinking about that damned Shikkon Jewel. Jewel of the Four Souls, they called it. So be it; I had uses for it myself and while I would not spend my time collecting shard after shard in a painstaking pattern, I had no desire to sacrifice the one I possessed.

And certainly that's why they had come. Well, no use in sacrificing a hundred good men to allow them to simply walk up to me and tell me what I already knew. 

I descended from my position, although I was not eager to waste time by running up and down stairs, so I simply leaped over the edge and landed several hundred feet down, behind the actual fighting. Inuyasha and his three were winning considerably, only yards from the gate that barred their entry to my castle.

"Desist!" I commanded loudly. A hundred demons down to fifty turned and looked at me in alarm.

"My Lord—"

"_I said be gone!_" I ordered. "Do not challenge my orders, or you shall suffer the consequences!"

And in the true obedience of men fortunate enough to serve under me, they scattered, leaving me to face my half-brother alone. _Where is she?_

Be silent. I have no need for this now.

I folded my arms. "Such a wonderful announcement of your presence," I told him in a low voice that left no room for interruption. "Though I should have expected nothing less from a foolish half-breed. Tell me your business and then be gone from my sight. I have no desire to see you."

In a sudden burst of rage, he threw down the Tetsusuiga (rather disrespectfully) and lunged at me—an act so foolish and unexpected that he actually slammed right into me and knocked me to the ground, his hands locking around my throat.

"You son of a bitch, you're fucking dead!" he exploded as I retaliated and smashed him in the chest. "Where is she?"

I planted two feet squarely in the soft part of his stomach and launched him off of me. "Damned fool of a demon!" I snapped. "Do not overstep your already strained welcome here!"

He scrambled to his feet, perhaps in a moment of sanity, and reached for the Tetsusuiga. And yet I simply could not allow him to use it against me.

**__**

Crack!

The air split with the sound of a bullwhip, and he slammed to his knees before he even reached the sword. Another flick of my wrist, and the back of his shirt—along with the flesh beneath it—split open as well. "Did you expect me to face you unarmed?" I demanded coldly.

Inuyasha pushed himself to his feet, his hand wrapped around the hilt of our father's mighty sword and hate in his golden eyes. I had not seen him in two years—certainly he was not still angry with me. Oh—the jewel shard. Fool. I would not give it up easily.

"Unless you want to much on the sword when I ram it down your throat," he snarled as he leveled the sword at me, "you had damned well better tell me where she is!"

"She who? I know not of whom you speak."

A feral grin. "Fine. Play your games, then. I'll get her out of here myself—after I kill you!"

I swung the whip around again, just as he made a dive at me, and the cord of energy wrapped around the blade of the Tetsusuiga for only a moment before it released under the power of the sword. Attacking the sword itself was perhaps not the wisest move, then. Before I could collect it to snap it again, however, Inuyasha swung the sword with all his might and sliced right down my chest, severing the armor I wore like it was paper and ripping open the cloth and skin it protected. I bared my teeth in pain, swinging the bullwhip and catching him around the ankles and pulling back sharply, yanking him off his feet and leaving him sprawled out on his back. Another _crack!_, and the arm he clutched the sword with blossomed with blood.

The Tetsusuiga clattered to the ground, and I made a move to collect it and end this pointless duel, but even with the wounds he now had, Inuyasha popped up to his feet and caught me under the chin in an old-fashioned punch and effectively halting me for a moment. I could not collect myself before he snap-kicked me in the side of the head and, when I doubled over for a brief moment, drove an elbow into my back and a fist into my stomach at the same time. He grabbed a fistful of my hair, knocking me down onto my knees and digging his foot into my back, all the while pulling backwards and straining my neck.

"Tell me where she is, or I'll snap your neck like a twig," he snarled. "I'm not in the mood to fuck around!" Then the cool kiss of steel against my exposed throat. Perhaps he would slit my throat before he broke my neck.

"Do not misunderstand me—I am always eager for an excuse to _kill_ you," I hissed, "but I fail to see the logic in this. Do you desire your precious jewel fragment so?"

"This has nothing to do with the goddamn jewel and you know it! Tell me where Kagome is!"

I went very still, although why, I did not know. "Your misplaced human is of no concern of mine."

A little more pressure from the sword. "Wrong answer. I want locations and directions."

My hand shot up and grabbed his arm that held the sword weakly, due to his injuries, and slammed Inuyasha to the ground. All too easy. The whip, forgotten but for a moment, cracked down and split the front of his shirt open in a mirror-image of my own, drawing blood immediately. His arm had no strength left to swing the sword effectively, and I dug my foot into his chest, making sure to put my heel over the fresh wound. "Hear me once, and heed my words: I do not have your human here, nor have I. Her disappearance is your problem. Do not involve me in it."

"So you didn't take Kagome?" spoke up the monk.

"I did not," I told him, after forgetting he existed for a little while. "I have no use for her."

"So if you didn't take her, then who did?" asked the girl I assumed was a demon exterminator.

"It is not my concern."

"Well they're your lands," she said harshly. "You should keep closer watch on these things."

"If I must tell you again that your misplaced human is not my problem, I will be very unhappy."

"Then why don't you get off my chest!"

"If the human Kagome is your only business here, then I should hope you will leave now," I said, beyond annoyed. "It seems perfectly logical for her to leave your little group; I have told her before that it is most unwise to travel with you," I told my brother. "As she will probably be killed on accident. I would check anyone who offers a spare bed to sleep in. Now get out of my sight."

"If you'd quit stepping on my chest, I would. And besides . . . she went to get firewood from back in the woods the other night, and then she never came back. You call that leaving? I figured that was just you being an asshole again."

My foot left his chest, but hardly a moment later I grabbed him by the necklace he wore and slammed him into a boulder. "You let her wander the forests of the Western Lands alone? You are the damnedest fool of a half-demon, you pathetic excuse for a living creature! If you want to know where she is, then I would go and check the belly of every creature that roams the woods! I have warned you before that the forests of this world are not safe for her to roam—do you have some inane desire to see her killed? You waste both my time and her life with your foolishness!" I stepped back from him, disgusted. "For all you know, she's dead!"

__

She is not dead. She can't be—not in your lands! Not on your conscience. 

Be silent!

The outburst stunned Inuyasha and his fellowship into silence for a moment. "Oh yeah?" he asked finally. "Then why don't you come with us and prove it? Maybe you know more about these lands than I do. I sure as hell would hope so, anyways."

I narrowed my eyes as I released him, folding my arms. "Really. And what makes you so eager to accept my help? You _did_ just try to kill me."

"She means more to me than sibling rivalry," he snapped. "I'm not going to lose her just because I don't like you."

The monk and the demon exterminator exchanged a glance. "I will help you, but do not blame me if all you find of her is a carcass."

The looks I received from the humans, the fox, and my fool brother were definitely ill at my words . . . until the monk began to smile. I saw very little funny in what I had said—and then I felt what the monk smiled at. Something small, foul-smelling, and persistent had wrapped itself around my leg and gave very little sign of letting go.

Damn her. I had spoken to her of doing that under any circumstances—but when she was excited or frightened, it seemed to be the first thing she did. "Rin."

Her dark eyes looked straight up into mine, and I folded my arms crossly. "Where 'ya goin'?"

"Away for the afternoon." I made my voice as stern as possible. Her timing was abysmal.

"Can Rin come?"

A cold glare.

"Can . . ." she seemed to consider her words seriously. "Can I come?"

Had she learned nothing while I had left Jaken to instruct her? "I don't know if you_ can_ do anything. I do not make those decisions for you."

A concentrated look from her small face. "Mmm . . . ma-a-ay I come?" she pressed, testing the word carefully.

"You may not."

Her eyes grew round. "But Rin—but I did my words and wrote semances like Jaken told me to and then I cleaned my room and had my lunch and did just what you told Rin to do!"

I kept my face hard, despite the softness that often entered it where Rin was involved. Her tongue often lagged behind her brain, which explained why she was tripping over her own words. "I do not leave to play some game without you," I informed her. "I have business to attend."

"Don't want to play a game! I want to go fight business with you," she insisted, baring her little human fangs in a mimic of what I did on the few occasions I was truly furious. "An' be a dog," she added.

The monk seemed amazed. "So you _do_ have a daughter."

That grabbed Rin's attention like candy waved under her nose (which was something I did not often indulge). "Sesshoumaru's not my dad," she told him plainly, never releasing my leg. "Who're you?"

He bowed low. "Miroku, a mere monk, at your service."

Her eyes fixed with fascination on each person she did not know as they introduced themselves: Shippou, then the demon exterminator Sango, who used both her name and occupation as introduction. The girl's eyes grew wider. "You sterminate people like Sesshoumaru?" she asked. I retained a smirk as the young woman stumbled through an answer that really held no point, as Rin would not appreciate the truth.

Inuyasha mumbled his name, arms folded and his face speaking of impatience and lacking the amusement that temporarily distracted the monk from their grim purpose. Rin's eyes narrowed intelligently as she slowly placed Inuyasha's name with what she had been told of him.

"You're . . ." she studied him. "The bakayaro half-demon who scraces (she meant disgraced) anyone with demon . . . um . . . stuff . . ."

Blood, perhaps.

" . . . and get really . . . er . . . mad . . ."

That generalization would undoubtedly be Jaken's doing, as he was hesitant to speak to her of my frequent rages that destroyed countless human villages after my encounters with Inuyasha. Something about upsetting her, as she was human herself. 

"Can I go with you now?"

"No."

*

"You were foolish enough to make camp in this part of the woods?" I demanded sourly. "It's a wonder that she alone disappeared."

"Yeah, well, it was dark and we were out of options," Inuyasha snapped. "Shit, it's hot out here." His clothing was already going limp from heat and sweat, as was his hair. I myself had abandoned the demon pelt I had worn before to keep myself cooler, and while it was certainly not as hot as it would have been, it was still unbearable.

"You should have taken that into consideration," I told him.

The monk—Miroku or something like that—had already tossed down a few layers of his garb and was down to the white undershirt similar to Inuyasha's. "I'm going to agree with Inuyasha for once," he muttered. "It's too hot out here to be comfortable."

"That's how it is here," I said shortly. "The days are hot and the nights are cold. If you intend to stay here long, then I suggest you get used to it—although I do not intend on allowing you to stay long enough to adjust," I added coldly. I was irritated enough as it was—Rin had insisted on coming, and threw one of her temper-tantrums that she'd perfected to a fine art, and she was now sleeping on my foolish half-brother's back. She had been fascinated to finally meet the one I had despised for so long, and couldn't tear herself away from him, much to my chagrin. 

"So what's the worst thing imaginable out here?" Inuyasha asked. "Just in case we need a worst-case scenario." 

"There is a particular demon in these woods," I admitted, "that hunts human women and small human boys, during its rutting season, as there are no females of its species. It reproduces by laying an egg that can only be fertilized once the hormones in its body that stall fertilization are dispelled by taking the victim and—"

"You talk like that when there are children around?" the monk demanded.

I gave him a cold glance. "She has already learned of each demon in this realm; I see no reason to hide the harsh reality of life from her. She will only discover it later—better to know what she faces than be afraid and ignorant."

"Well so much for that worst-case scenario," Inuyasha muttered. "Guess we can only hope she's not pregnant when we find her."

"Should that be her fate," I informed him haughtily, "you will not recognize her corpse when we find it. Do not flatter yourself to think that anything that lurks in the Western Lands is merciful enough to let its victims live."

Several hours passed in that tight-lipped fashion, everyone wary of speaking out of line around me and afraid at the same time that we would only find their missing companion's body. The demon-exterminator had taken the fox-child in another direction, and had she not seemed a formidable foe, I would have silently questioned her safety in these woods.

But I certainly would not have stopped her.

The unbearable heat remained until the sun disappeared into the trees, and then the temperature began to plummet to dangerous lows. The human Sango had returned with the fox-child not long before sunset, and I was preparing to take Rin and leave them to search the forest alone in the dark. Even though I ruled all in my lands, I was not so foolish as to think that I would not find trouble after sunset.

Rin had picked up the demon pelt from the ground, furry and black in contrast to the lighter one I had lost in the battle with Naraku years before, and was curled up on my shoulder. Though I would not admit it, the added warmth that she and her cover provided was appreciated.

Inuyasha's teeth chattered as he became angry. His mood darkened along with the sky, and I secretly pitied whatever had made off with his human, chuckling to myself that it had best avoid the half-demon for many years. 

It would do well to avoid me, as well.

"Goddamnit!" he snarled. "This is absolute bullshit—you're seriously ditching us?"

I looked down my nose at him. "I did not promise otherwise."

"You're a lot of fucking help!"

"You're lucky I helped this much. And your language is abysmal, given our small company." But of course Rin didn't care. She had heard me say far worse.

His hand went to his sword. "Fine—leave if you want to! Go back to your precious fortress—I don't care! And obviously, neither do you," he added venomously. 

My face darkened. "For your wench?" I sneered. "Certainly not."

Rin sniffed as she perched on my shoulder. "She smells," the small girl declared.

I looked at her. "You should have taken care of that when it was warm enough to bathe," I sighed.

She shook her head. "No, not _Rin,_" she said plainly. "Her. She smells like blood."

Then Inuyasha and I both spun around when we both smelled what Rin smelled. (How had she smelled it before us? Perhaps I was losing my touch and she was gaining it.) There was a crash in the forest behind us, and from the darkness emerged a stumbling, ragged human girl.

Gods of all the worlds . . . her sudden presence and physical state were a blow to the stomach.

"Kagome—" Inuyasha seemed to hold himself back rather than tackle her—she didn't seem to be able to stand, let alone withstand someone jumping on her. A hand shot out and she collapsed against a tree—she _did_ smell of blood. There were dark spots on the blackness of her shirt that showed up shining wetly in the failing light. The wounds were fresh. The largest was on her stomach, it seemed, although I could only guess from how much blood I smelled and the way that even now, the stain seemed to be spreading.

"Don't," she said in a tired voice as both the monk and Sango made moves to help her. "I'm . . . I can walk."

"It does not seem so to me," I said quietly.

Her dark eyes lifted and focused on me for the first time, and I could not read the many emotions that flashed behind them. _Look away. Don't look at me like that._ She was . . . she looked very . . . beautiful . . . even when she was so destroyed. 

Oh, not again. I had not considered for a long time why I had so violently avoided her—but now I remembered. I should not have aided them at all . . . 

"Kagome—what in the hell happened?" Inuyasha demanded, not yelling and making no move to aide her, out of respect for her dignity.

She shook her head, but her eyes never left mine, and now she lifted the hem of her blood-soaked shirt to show the wound it concealed. It struck something deep inside of me; not sympathy, and not regret, but . . . something I could not place. It was obvious, once I saw it, what had happened—_who_ had happened.

A large handprint encompassed much of her stomach, red with abuse and severe burns, much in the same way as my own two years ago. It was the same size as the scar on my chest that would never truly heal.

Silence settled in the air around us, and she stumbled forward a few steps before her eyes closed and she dropped into a dead faint, my arms the only thing that kept her from hitting the ground.

*

****

Kagome

I threw up more that night than I thought possible—given the fact that I hadn't eaten in days, I didn't know I had anything left to puke. It was probably vital organs or something by then. The days following passed with only vague notions of burning heat and then bone-chilling cold, along with standard pain and fragmented memories.

I should never have walked away from the campsite. I should have stayed right by the fire, close to Inuyasha and Miroku and Sango—even Shippou, who wouldn't have been much use against him.

How many days had he kept me? One—ten? A hundred years? It all seemed the same. Blood and pain and crying and talking—I hadn't been allowed to fall asleep or pass out from the pain he was inflicting. However long he'd had me, I had been conscious the entire time. I had learned more of his twisted past and sickening creation, how each jewel shard he collected had made him stronger, how each demon foolish enough to trust him was eventually absorbed into him along with the many other demons that made him just who he was. He in turn had wrenched from me the deep love I'd carried for Inuyasha in the beginning, then the confusing ordeal with Sesshoumaru later on. He ripped from me the dreams I'd had of the striking demon lord, and the nightmares of what he himself would do when he finally caught up with us and our jewel shards. I had learned to erect strong mental barriers after I stayed in the Warring States for long periods, but like even the strongest armor, Naraku had invaded my mind and taken it apart, exposing me before him down to the core of my soul. In the most literal sense of the word, he had raped my mind and spirit each moment of each day he held me.

He had also collected the jewel shards I carried with me—the largest shard I had given to Inuyasha for a while, so he couldn't get his hands on it, but the others he found quickly. I had taken precautions in case I was ever taken hostage like that and had hidden jewel shards in unlikely places—some in the hem of my skirt, one in the toe of my shoe, another embedded in the handle of my bow, and so on. But he had found them all because my mind was exposed to him to do with as he wished. 

That was the least of the horrors. Even in my nightmares over the next few days, I couldn't delve into the physical horrors that had left me covered in blood.

I slowly came to awareness, the room around me dark and my face cold, but the rest of me warm. There was a silver-headed figure sleeping in the floor by what seemed to be my bed, his head dropping to his chest occasionally. A little fox slept beside him, by my feet. In a chair, with his head on the table, Miroku snored, and Sango appeared to be dozing lightly on her feet by the door.

"Inuyasha?" I whispered.

He jerked awake at the noise, always the light sleeper, and his golden eyes went wide in the darkness. "Kagome!" he exclaimed. "You're . . . you're—"

I was instantly pinned when Shippou pounced on me, followed by Miroku, who had woken up, and Sango, who had been startled at the commotion and fallen over initially. I flinched in pain as they all assaulted me. "Ouch! Hey, careful there!" I exclaimed.

Hey, my voice worked. Aside from a throbbing pain in my stomach and a few aches and pains here and there, I felt pretty okay. Not perfect, mind you, but not like I'd been tortured for days. I must have been treated by a healer. "I'm here," I assured them. "Although if you're not careful, I may just break."

"Kagome," said Sango incredulously, "you were at Naraku's mercy for three days straight and you lived—I don't think you've got anything to worry about now!"

"Where am I—or more appropriately, where are _we_?" I asked.

They all exchanged dubious glances. "You wouldn't believe us if we told you," Sango told me.

"Sure I would. I feel fine—I am deeply in the debt of whoever set us up here and healed me," I added. "Tell me so I can hug them."

"You'll eat your words," Inuyasha said dryly. "Unless you'd _like_ a make-out session with my brother."

"I hereby eat my words. Oh—shit, he _was _there," I realized. I had seen Inuyasha first, then I had seen Sesshoumaru beside him with something small perched on his shoulder. A child? "Help me avoid him, please," I begged. "I can't face him right now!"

"You don't have to. He's been scarce these past few days," Miroku explained, "hunting Naraku no doubt. He seemed as angry as we were when we realized it was Naraku that had taken you. We haven't seen him more than two or three times. His fortress has been heavily guarded, however. Naraku stands no chance of getting in—although I do know what happens when we underestimate him," he added. "So I can make no guarantees."

I bit my lip and blocked the memories that swelled at his name, closing my eyes for a moment. "Oh. Well he won't come for me here, I can say that much. He's made his point, if we're holed up here waiting to see what he'll do next. He only . . . he only did this because he could. This is his equivalent of a power trip." A lie—Naraku had told me in plain words why it had been me caught unaware rather than Miroku or Sango or even Shippou, but it was nothing I ever wanted to think about again. "Is there anywhere I can get fresh air?" I asked, the thoughts of Naraku making my voice strain. "I don't feel so hot."

"Yeah, on the walls of the fortress," Inuyasha said, "but see if I'm stupid enough to let you go alone."

"I'll go with her," Miroku said, as though I wasn't there.

I sighed. "You can come, that's fine, but remove your hand from my thigh before I do it for you."

He complied instantly, and Sango slapped him hard across the face. "Don't you have any dignity?" she demanded. "After everything Kagome has been through, you grope her? Some monk you are!"

"I was simply laying a comforting hand—"

"Don't make me slap you again."

He raised his hands in surrender. "Shall we go, or would you like to wait for the physical abuse to continue?" he asked me politely.

I pushed myself to my feet. "We'll let the abuse continue when I feel like watching," I replied, grabbing his offered hand to steady myself. He picked up his staff and we walked in silence for a few minutes.

Cool night air assaulted me—cold, actually, but I was bundled in a blanket and so only my cheeks went numb. "You've been through quite the ordeal," Miroku commented lightly. "How are you feeling?"

I shrugged, looking into the black forest that stretched up into the mountains. "Been better. Minor aches and pains, you know, but nothing surprising."

"How's your stomach?"

Under the blanket, my hand had already draped across the mark, laying inside the burned-out wound. "It'll be fine. But it won't heal completely—I'll always have a scar."

"There are certain spells that will dispel the indention," he told me. "If you wish, I could ask Kaede to—"

I shook my head. "You and Inuyasha are covered with battle scars; no way am I sacrificing mine. I can show it to my kids someday with pride and say, 'Look what I lived through. Anything's possible.'"

"Only you could take such a life-threatening situation and make it positive," he chuckled. 

"You should see me in rush-hour traffic. I thrive there." The one time I had been home long enough to go anywhere, my mother had taken me shopping for more appropriate clothes to traipse around in, as she thought mine made me look cheap—and, she continued, it was falling apart. She ended up choosing black, which retained heat well and was good for the occasional sneaking around I did. Black pants, black top, belt that evened it out. Fine; black was the new gray anyways. We had been trapped in traffic for hours, and I alone, of the thousands of people who moved ten feet every hour, did not mind in the least.

"You are truly an amazing person, Kagome," he sighed.

"Thanks, you're not too bad yourself."

"Are you all right?" he asked very seriously.

I glanced at him, studying his face under the quarter-moon. "Didn't we just go through that?"

"You know what I mean. Naraku's strength is not his only weapon. Your wounds are not merely physical—I can see it in the way you move."

I chewed my lip. "I don't want to talk about it."

"You've got to eventually."

"Well then I don't want to _think_ about it. Once I think about it, then I'll worry about talking about it. Until then, I don't want to deal with it."

He put a hand on my shoulder. "I understand. I can offer to ease your pain by healing your wounds, but I cannot make you forget. That is what I truly regret the most, aside from being unable to realize the danger you were in before Naraku took you."

I sighed, my heart heavy suddenly. Why had I thought that Inuyasha would be the only one bothered by all this? Miroku had always been there for me, certainly more than I had been there for him. But he didn't need consolation as often as I did. "He saw it all," I said suddenly. "Everything in my mind and soul that I'd kept hidden away—he could pull it out of me like it was nothing. He . . . he saw exactly how to get here, through the well with jewel shards—once he's destroyed this world, he'll go through the well and destroy mine too. He took all my jewel shards—all in all, I think it was seven or so. He saw where I had stashed them and he took them. He saw how much bigger your wind tunnel has gotten, he saw how Inuyasha becomes human at the new moon, he saw what happened with Sesshoumaru last time we were in the Western Lands, he knows everything I know. There's nothing we can hide from him. He plans on using Kikyo's immortal soul against Inuyasha, Sango against you, me to get Sesshoumaru's jewel shard—we're just pawns on a damn chessboard that he's moving around! All those times we thought we'd bested him for the time—they were all sacrifices he'd planned in advance so he could completely destroy us later!"

"Excuse me," he cut in. "I'm aware of how perilous our situation is, so please don't think I was ignoring you, but I couldn't help but notice your references to Sesshoumaru—what happened last time we were in the Western Lands? And how are you an outlet to his jewel shard? My curiosity is running rampant."

"Indeed," came a new voice, "as is my own. How _do _I figure into Naraku's ultimate goal?"

Oh no. No, no, no, no. Please let me be dreaming. If I'm wide awake, I think I'm going to have to jump off the side and plummet to my untimely death. I think my stomach beat me to it—I can't feel it. _Damn!_

Miroku and I both tuned slowly—or maybe we just plain turned and time seemed to have slowed considerably for me. "Good evening," Miroku said politely, though not with extravagant kindness.

"You should not be up," Sesshoumaru told me in an unreadable voice. "I highly doubt you are well enough to be up and about so soon after Naraku almost killed you."

"At this point," Miroku told me, "I quite agree." His meaning was obvious, as was his continued dislike of Inuyasha's brother.

"Go and tell my foolish brother that she will return shortly," Sesshoumaru told him. "I shall see that she returns safely."

"Forgive me if I—"

"Your intrusion is taken into consideration," he interrupted coldly, "but I have dismissed you." His tone invited neither interruption or argument. "She will rejoin your group in her quarters shortly. Until then, I have already made my call." 

Miroku didn't move.

"Shall we deal with this hand to hand, monk?" he asked with gentle steel in his voice.

Miroku hesitated, but I didn't tell him to wait for me, so he finally began to move. "Inuyasha will not be happy about this," he told me.

"Tell him if he has a problem, I'll sit him all the way to Matamores."

There was tense silence as Miroku departed, and then Sesshoumaru spoke. "So tell me, _human_, how is it that Naraku considers you the key to my jewel shard?"

A cold breeze ripped right through the blanket, and I fought down a shiver. "I don't know. I told him he was crazy."

"I assume then that you brought up the incident several years ago."

"I didn't bring it up, thanks a lot," I snapped. "If you must know how he knew everything that's ever happened to me before in my life, then maybe I ought to tell you that he ripped my mind open like there was a cheap lock on it and ransacked it! So now he knows about everything from you to my family, and you were not the only person he dragged up, Mr. Center of My Universe!"

"Your body will heal," he said suddenly, "but I did not consider the fact that he scarred your spirit as well. That is another scar you will bear through eternity."

I wrapped the blanket tighter. "That son of a bitch is dead meat," I seethed silently, my eyes riveted again to the black expanse of a forest beyond the fortress walls. "He'll pay for what he's done to people for the last fifty years, and damned if I don't play some part in dishing the punishment."

"When you are well enough," he reminded me. "Do not seek your revenge until you are strong enough to defend yourself. Should you attack him now, you would fight valiantly and die quickly." And he spoke as though he cared—hah.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. Why did you help them out the other day, anyways? I figured you'd be off doing something demonically constructive, like pillaging a defenseless village or something like that."

A disdainful glance. "It suited me at the time. I would not have done it if it did not."

"Oh right, you demon lords get to push your pleasure buttons whenever you want," I snorted. "I forgot."

"One with power such as mine does only what pleases him," he replied shortly. "I care none for the ones I help or hinder."

"So I've noticed," I scowled. "Guess you get your kicks out of making out with chicks and then disappearing, huh?" 

Whoopsy. Um . . . could I take that back right quick? Didn't quite mean to bring that up . . .

"If you refer to the incident at the hot springs—and I'm sure you do—then I advise you to speak not of what you know nothing."

"Are you telling me I don't know what happened?" I demanded. "I was there—I should hope I have some idea!"

"I never insinuated that you had _no_ idea; I simply stated that you have no concept of what truly happened." Big whopping difference.

"So enlighten me—did you kiss me and run, or did you kiss me and haul ass?" I asked sourly. The anger warming my cold skin surprised me—I hadn't really thought about it that much since it happened. I had assumed that it had been because I didn't care—although it was beginning to look like I not only cared at the time, I _still_ cared.

"I have neither desire nor need to explain myself to you," he said shortly. "But know this: should Naraku attempt to use you to gain the jewel shard I have grown quite fond of, I will certainly kill you before he does."

"You're a real lady-killer, you know? I don't see how you're not being chased by rabid women desperate to be with you, given your charms and people-skills."

He spun on me, golden eyes flashing. "Feel fortunate that you stand before me and yet live," he snarled. "But do not assume that killing you before Naraku can use you in such a way is a crime against you. I personally find it a favor."

I backed away a step, but my anger didn't falter. "Some favor! Don't you _dare_ talk to me about Naraku," I seethed. "I know more about him and the way his mind works—he let me see some of the inner workings, although it was more to aide in destroying me utterly more than it was anything else. Even _you_ don't compare to him."

"I never claimed to desire so," he threw back. "But I know the workings of evil, as I am sometimes inclined to work as such. And I know the mind of evil, as I have one myself. Naraku is a foe to be kept closer than a friend or lover. Any farther away, and he will destroy you from the inside out, as he is doing with you."

My eyes widened. "Pardon me?" I exclaimed furiously.

"He will haunt your mind until either you have gone mad or you destroy him—it is not anything that he could have stopped if he wished, which I'm sure he didn't. It is human nature to be destroyed by such actions. When one's mind and body are violated as yours have been, only strength of mind and sheer will can overcome the effects. The true extent of his torment will come to you within the upcoming weeks, and you will wish for death so greatly that you will try to bring it upon yourself, unless you can make yourself find a reason to live."

I swallowed. His words carried what felt like a warning of things to come—although he was wrong, I knew he was. I wasn't that weak. "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer," I said with a weak laugh. "Guess he knew what he was doing."

"Keep him close above all others," Sesshoumaru advised me, "but do not keep him so close that he has only to push you a little before you crumble into yourself."

"Right," I sighed. "Keep him close, but not too close. And how close do you advise I keep my friends—close, but not so close they overshadow Naraku?"

He was suddenly a hell of a lot closer than I had thought—not too alert, huh? Fear flickered up in my stomach, but I didn't budge an inch. "No," he growled in response to my question. I forgot for a moment what we were talking about when I saw the look in his eyes—utter confusion. For one reason or another, he seemed torn between two things, and I couldn't tell what they were. But he looked—well, just that: torn. He seemed to forget what we were talking about, too, because his answer really made no sense and contradicted what seemed to be his point a moment ago. "Keep them as close as you can handle without going mad," he finally said, his words sounding forced. Then, planting his arms on the edge of the wall on each side of me and effectively trapping me, his mouth descended on mine and I could feel in his body one of the two warring sides succumb as I lost myself in him.


	8. Why Don't We Do It In the Road?

Hope no one minds that the chapter title has nothing to do with the story itself. Actually, the _story_ title comes from the Matchbox 20 song 'Disease,' as I found stuff like 'I got a disease/deep inside it makes me feel uneasy baby . . .' and other lyrics very appropriate for the inner struggle that I'm constantly putting poor Sesshoumaru through. But I was listening to the Beatles when I wrote this, and so I dedicate it to 'Why Don't We Do It In the Road.' The song is basically 'why don't we do it in the road, why don't we do it in the road, no one will be watching us, why don't we do it in the road?' over and over again. So there's really nothing similar to anything in here . . . unless you guys want Sesshoumaru and Kagome to do it in the road . . . 

*

I stared at the ceiling all night long, once he had ensured that I returned to my quarters safely. I could tell nothing from his actions (did kissing me count? Because if that was an action, then I liked what I could tell.) nor from his tone, and so confusion reigned supreme. I had started to slip through the slightly open door, totally silent in case anyone was asleep, but he grabbed me by the shoulder and planted a hard, unyielding kiss on my mouth before stalking off into the dark hallway. And then, as though I was tired, I lay down and tried to sleep.

Sango was the first to notice, at the light of dawn, that I was still staring at the ceiling. "Kagome?" she asked skeptically. "Are you awake already?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I'm not really tired right now."

Inuyasha stirred at the sound of our voices. "What are you guys doing awake already?" he asked groggily.

"Nothing," I said automatically

"I guess you got back all right," Miroku commented, his voice muffled by his arms, which doubled for a pillow at the time.

"Fine." 

"I don't trust Sesshoumaru," Inuyasha muttered, stretching his limbs. "This is just too weird, letting us stay here when he initially tried to kill me the other day."

"You started it," Sango reminded him. "In case you've forgotten."

"I was mad."

"We noticed."

"You tried to kill each other?" I repeated, almost the most I had said all morning.

"Inuyasha threw a temper tantrum—he thought Sesshoumaru had been the one to take you that night," Sango told me tiredly. "They fought until they could come to an agreement—it must be a genetic thing," she added. "They were both so eager to find a reason to kill each other."

I rolled over, barely paying attention to her words. I was so lost. Peachy keens. _What do I do now? Run up to Sesshoumaru and give him a big kiss the next time I see him? . . .Nah. Wait it out. See where it goes—if he wants to push for anything, fine by me. But I'm not going to make the same mistake as last time and get myself thinking that it could happen. _

I had to put up with him being indecisive and standoff-ish once. It's his turn.

*

****

Sesshoumaru 

__

Fool. You damned insane fool! What in the hell did you think you were doing? What do you plan _on doing? Certainly you don't intend on carrying on a relationship with this—this _human_! Do you presume to follow in the footsteps of your father? His love for humans killed him! It started with just scorn from his realm, then disgust, then hatred!_

As though I'm foolish enough to even consider keeping her. It will pass.

__

Will it? You thought this silly attraction would pass, as well—two years have passed, nothing else! You attempted to indulge yourself once before, and your only option was to flee like a coward. Leave her to Naraku.

It is nothing; a simple fetish is all.

__

Really. Look at what spawned you—you are already at risk of making the same mistake. Don't do it knowingly.

I make no mistakes. Should things turn for ill, then it is because I meant for it to.

__

So what do you plan to do about it?

I . . .

__

You don't even know. How do you plan to keep her alive, anyways? Surely you don't mean to protect her yourself.

There was no decent reply I could come up with to counter this new voice in my mind. I did not know if it was my long-treasured dignity or perhaps a conscience, although I saw no reason for it to be the latter. In my many hundreds of years walking this earth, I had not faced problems from my conscience and I saw no reason for it to surface now.

A tug at the leg of my pants, and I met the dark gaze of Rin, a little surprised but too proud to admit it. Fortunately, however, I was pulled from my angst-ridden thoughts, and so I did not dwell on being caught unawares.

"Sesshoumaru," Rin began innocently, "who's the pretty lady?"

"A demon exterminator."

"No," she sighed condescendingly, "the _other_ one! The one that you . . . um . . ."

"From the woods?" I pressed, trying to sound bored for her sake. Any other tone of voice made her suspicious (insightful child; I raised her well), and I had no idea what I would sound like if I quit trying.

She shrugged, still looking straight up. "Yeah, and the one you were—um—" she seemed to be looking for the word and been rendered unable to find it. Her hands released my pants and gestured feebly, but she didn't seem to know what gesture to make, either. "Last night," she explained, "when Rin—I—had to go get water, you were with the pretty lady outside and . . . um . . ." her tiny face scrunched up with concentration before she sighed heavily. "I don't know. You did _something_—" she put the tips of her index fingers together and held them up, and I suddenly realized what she was talking about. "—and then you took her inside. She's pretty."

The very irrational desire to rub my eyes with irritation and discomfort arose suddenly, but I squashed it. So she had been a peeping Tom, eh? Perhaps she was spending too much time with Jaken, whose business was his own but seemed to be under the impression that my business was his own as well. Rin's little face scrunched up in concentration. "Why do you do that?" she asked plainly.

"Do what?" I asked with an impatient sigh.

"What—what you were doing last night," she explained. "_Kissing_," she declared suddenly.

"If you plan on becoming a good spy someday," I told her warningly, "I would advise you not to tell people when you've spied on them." Although it was questions like that every day that made me well aware of the fact that Rin was growing up in leaps and bounds, and I was slowly realizing that she would want answers for her question someday. I wasn't her father; why was this suddenly my job? Is that how I was to be repaid for taking her in as I did? I supposed that someday, when the time came, I would sit her down and answer her questions to the best of my comfort zone (which was limited here), or perhaps give her a book to read about it. I certainly had no intentions of doing what my father had done to me when I was barely seventy, which was lock me alone in a room with a cat-demon who hadn't quite learned how to control her retracting claws just yet. He had made for the door as soon as I realized what was going on and bid me an evil 'Have fun' as he slipped out of the room and bolted the door. Very few things can restrain an angry demon such as myself, especially when I was young, but that door and the walls surrounding me did a fine job. I was not permitted to leave for nearly six hours of almost straight torture. _Almost._ I grudgingly accepted that maybe three minutes of it was worth doing again—many times since my freedom from that prison, actually—but I never truly forgave my father for placing me in a situation that destroyed my pride so. But a tortured child makes for a strong man, I have learned.

Rin moved on very quickly. "When are you leaving again?"

"The end of the week."

"Why?"

"To do business."

She sighed. "Rin never gets to go."

"This time, I envy you." The departure she spoke of was a long-overdue border dispute between myself and the Lady of the Northern Lands, who was insufferable to say the least. She was easily thousands of years old and thought she was the gods' gift to—well, to me, but I have been known for my patience. When your life is as long as mine, patience becomes as natural as breathing.

"If Rin can't go with you, can I go with Inuyasha and the pretty lady?"

Sometimes, anyways.

"They leave in the morning," I told her, "before the sun comes up. If you wish to be up when it's still dark, then you are free to do as you wish."

Her eyes were wide. "Will they leave_ really _early?"

"Yes."

"Will there still be stars?"

"Yes."

"Is it early before the sun's even gone down in the morning?" she asked with fascination. I hesitated a moment before answering that, if only to figure out what the hell she'd just said. But naturally, to Rin, if you were to leave so early that the sun hadn't even gone down, well, then it was very early indeed.

She sighed heavily when I nodded, in imitation of when I was exasperated. "Then Rin will stay and dress up Jaken again. Inuyasha's nice," she added.

"Do not grow so attached to him. He departs in the morning with the rest of his company."

"'m not," she said defensively. "I didn't _kiss_ him."

I began to protest, but thought better of it when I realized that she wasn't even ten yet and it would be futile to argue with her. "You had best mind your own business," I told her instead, a warning in my voice.

The distinct sound of arguing made me look up, and I saw Inuyasha and Kagome making their way to us, deep in conversation. They were far enough away that they seemed out of earshot, but their conversation was as clear as day to me.

" . . . shouldn't have been nosing around in his library anyways," Inuyasha was saying irritably.

"Coulda, shoulda, woulda, did," she said back. "The point is, we need Kaede for this. I've never dabbled in magic before—I'll botch it up."

"She's too old to perform that kind of spell. I don't care what you say, she'll tell you the same thing: she just can't do it anymore. Thirty years ago, I wouldn't have even considered going to anyone else, but hey. I was stuck to a tree and this wasn't a problem. And you've done magic every time you purify your arrows!"

"Yeah, but that's magic from within!"

"No difference, this magic comes from the same place—you just have to use words to convey it."

"And besides, I can only barely translate the language this spell is in. Kaede knows everything ever spoken on this earth, no matter when it happened. I can't memorize an entire spell in another language and hope to make it work!"

"Would you quit arguing? All I'm saying is, this was _your_ idea and we can't rely on everyone and their dog to throw in and help us! I already think it's stupid for Miroku to help. You cast the spell and then I take care of him with the Tetsusuiga, end of story."

"It won't be that easy and you know it. How many thousands of demons will you have to deal with after the spell? Sesshoumaru killed a hundred demons with one clean sweep a long time ago—a thousand is a whole new can of worms. We need Miroku's wind tunnel—and excuse me, but I'm just trying to let _everyone_ get their revenge in," Kagome added sourly. "Now unless you want your brother to hear everything we're talking about, then I'd cork it. We have to talk to him."

How quaint.

Inuyasha folded his arms when they reached me, and I did not grace them with a look. Instead I kept my eyes over the lands I called my own and generally ignored them. "Naraku is close," he told me finally.

"Really. And how do you know?"

"I sense a lot of jewel shards," Kagome said almost hesitantly. "They're outside the fortress and they're not moving, but they're there all the same. He's waiting for something."

Rin glanced up at my fool brother balefully, her dark eyes adoring. Truly disgusting. "Then I should recommend that your party leave before he corners you," I replied in a smooth statement. "The walls here are safe, but not from him. If he wishes, he will enter."

She shifted edgily. "Something's not right," she admitted suddenly, and the ignorant half-breed beside her gave her a skewed glance that clearly said 'What?' "I mean . . ." she reddened under our pressing stares. "It's wrong. He's never done this, just sat around and waited . . . it's _freaky_, okay? You guys aren't the ones who sense jewel shards, and it's damned weird to feel one just stationary like that—even weirder to feel a lot of them just stationary like that. This is bad. I don't—I don't get bad feelings all the time or anything, but to quote a bad movie, I have a bad feeling about this. He's also here for your jewel shard," she added, looking at me. "All the shards have been collected but yours—that's why we were on our way here. He's not just here for our fragments, he wants yours as well."

"Then he can rip my arm from my dead body."

Rin's grip on my leg tightened. "Can we go with the pretty lady?" she asked, pulling at my shirt and reaching up. Out of a habit I should have discontinued when she was younger, I picked her up as she stuck a finger in her mouth.

"You ought to join us," Kagome said in a strained voice, even as Inuyasha (fool) opened his mouth to protest violently, loudly, and definitely annoyingly. "It would be safer for you and—um—"

"Rin," I told her impassively.

The older girl bowed slightly. "Don't think we've met," she said in as light a voice as she could manage. "I'm Kagome."

Rin nodded slowly, laying her head down on my shoulder in satisfaction that the 'pretty lady' had a name. "I will escort you to the edge of my territory," I told her, "and from there I will leave you. If Naraku desires my shard, then he will have to fight me for it."

"You're a real stubborn person sometimes," Kagome muttered. "Do you have this overwhelming desire to get yourself killed?"

"When you have lived as long and evil a life as I," I retorted, "death is of little concern."

"You're not evil," she said flatly.

My eyes narrowed, and had I not held Rin at that time, I suspect I would have advanced on her in anger, but the child in my arms was incentive to keep me from doing so. "Tempt me," I snapped.

Tension hung in the air like a cloud, although it had little to do with Inuyasha and he seemed to know it immediately. "Is there something I should know about," he asked irritably, "or should I just smile and nod my head?"

"Please don't smile," I told him, "it is truly a hideous thing to behold, and there are children present."

"Hey, asshole, we're just trying to be nice!"

Kagome cleared her throat. "Fine. If you find it so important to see us off and then return, then I can live with that. Maybe you'll change your mind en route."

"I greatly doubt it."

We all turned as the three-legged demon guard came running up to me. "My lord," he panted, winded.

I stood patiently. "Proceed."

"There is a man at the gates, asking to see you," he coughed. "He dresses as a baboon and says he means no ill, but twelve men have fallen before him by simply approaching him. He claims to be an associate of yours."

"Deny him entry," I ordered automatically. "But do not approach him. Leave him where he is and inform him that I have left—but do not attack, unless you wish to be killed." 

The man ran off at the orders to inform his troops. The decision to return once I had seen my guests to safety remained cemented in my mind now: Naraku had indeed come for my jewel shard and, no doubt, for the quintet as well. I had heard of the countless villages he had destroyed to get his precious fragments of the Shikkon Jewel, and I had no designs to let him do the same to those kept safe within _my_ walls. I resolved then to leave them at the edge of the forest before returning; I would leave my subjects unguarded for as little time as possible. Their blood would not stain my conscience. They stayed here under the impression that they would be safe, and I would be damned to Hell if they were not. Whatever designs Kagome and my brother had come up with for Naraku could be executed without me, and if they killed him, well, then he was the bigger fool for letting his guard down.

I turned to my brother, expressionless. "If you plan on escaping here before Naraku forces his way in," I told him, "then I should recommend that you get moving. I will take you to the end of the forest, and from there, you are on your own."

He nodded grimly. "Guess we're lucky to even get that," he said sarcastically.

"No, you are lucky to be _alive_," I countered. "Do not hold the former to luck—hold it to mercy."

*

****

Kagome

The seven of us made like birds through the forest, Miroku carrying Sango and Shippou, Inuyasha carrying me and Rin, and Sesshoumaru leading the way at breakneck speed. It seemed to me, in a distant part of my mind, that Rin had the teeniest of tiny crushes on Inuyasha—but see if you caught me saying that to Inuyasha or Sesshoumaru, who would probably hit the roof.

"Inuyasha," I said tightly, having given up trying not to be motion-sick, "he's following us."

"What do you mean, 'he's following us?!" he exclaimed.

"Just what it sounds like—he's following us! I don't think he stayed at Sesshoumaru's fortress when he realized we made like trees," I said over the air that rushed by us. "So that means all those people there are probably still alive."

"Unless he threw a temper tantrum and blew the whole place up as an afterthought," he added.

"We have to get to Kaede's as soon as we can," I said through chattering teeth (and I wasn't cold, either). "This is it. If we lose to him this time, we're dead. It's over."

"It wouldn't be if my brickheaded brother would just come with us!"

"I thought you didn't want him to come."

"I don't, but if it means we can beat Naraku, then I'll put up with him for now. Although did you hear what he said? 'When you have slain Naraku with your blade, turn it next to me, for we will no longer have this uneasy partnership.' The minute we're done with Naraku, I've got to start it up with him _again_! Doesn't he ever move on?"

"Guess not," I called back. "Just be glad it's not him _and_ Naraku at the same time."

"I'll make sure to put that at the top of my list when I count my blessings," he told me cattily. 

There was a violent jerk as we ran (not Inuyasha, even though he _can_ be a violent jerk at times), and Rin's head bumped mine. "Hey, be more careful!" I snapped at him.

"That wasn't me!" he called back in alarm.

I heard Sango call out from her place on Miroku's back. "Did you feel that?" she hollered.

Ahead of us, Sesshoumaru turned to look at us. "Faster!" he snapped, almost impatient.

That was when the ground split.

The momentum dropped to nil as we all screeched to a dead halt, Inuyasha in the center flanked by Sesshoumaru and Miroku. I dropped down from his back, as did Sango, readying her boomerang. I reached back and pulled out my bow and kept an arrow between my fingers, sliding it onto the bow but not applying tension. The forest was deadly still around us, save for the gaping rip before us. The air seemed to press in around me, and Sesshoumaru shot an arm out as I stepped forward.

"Take Rin," he growled, "and stay back. Do not lower your weapon."

Then we heard it—echoing in the trees, bouncing off the rocks, tossed around by the wind . . . laughter. Cruel, malicious, throaty laughter. I spun on my heel, taking Rin's little hand and looking around wildly. _We shouldn't have brought her, she'll get hurt—_

"What to do, what to do," came the rumbling voice. "Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru, here in the woods together, and for once you don't have your swords at each other's throats. Sango and Miroku as well—following your revenge keenly, I see. And Kagome—my, my, as alert and ready for lurking danger as always."

I bristled at the barb, but memories came flooding back to me at his voice, making my eyes fill with tears suddenly. "Why don't you show yourself?" I demanded, making my voice as strong as I could. "Hiding in the woods is nearly as cowardly as anything I do."

A few startled glances from my friends.

"I never called you a coward," he chuckled. "Being weak doesn't mean you won't rush towards danger as though you could actually do some good. I myself enjoy your amusing shows of bravery."

I set my jaw, prying free of Rin's hand and readying my bow. "So then come on out!" I snarled.

The grate of metal on it's sheath echoed behind me—Inuyasha had drawn Tetsusaiga and was glancing around angrily. "Leave her outta this!" he called furiously. "Why don't you take her advice and show yourself?"

A movement in the woods beside me, and an arrow shot into the darkness with deadly accuracy. Nothing; just a tree branch. "No, not over there," Naraku chuckled from all around. "Maybe I'm over . . ."

The air split with the sound of someone getting cracked over the head. _"HERE!"_ We all spun around as Sango staggered suddenly, her eyes wide with pain. Before we could even blink again, Inuyasha had doubled over as though a fist had been driven up into his stomach.

"Kagome!" he exploded. "Get out of here!"

I glanced down at Rin. "Hey, you up to some running?" I asked in a shaking voice.

She nodded. "I can't run fast, though—"

"Not a problem!" I shouldered my bow and picked her up, making to high-tail it back to Sesshoumaru's fortress. We'd barely gotten away, though, before Naraku seemed to step out of the air in front of us, a lash of black energy snapping at us like a bullwhip. On instinct, I spun and bore the brunt onto my shoulder to keep it from hitting Rin, but staggered under the force and hit the ground. Even then, I put the little girl under me to keep her generally safe.

We cowered there for a moment, Rin's little hands holding onto my wrist, but with a violent pull, Naraku had yanked me away from her and thrown me to the ground at his feet. "So noble," he noted, "ready to die for this small thing. I hope Lord Sesshoumaru realizes that he will be in your debt if you keep this up."

A flash of light, and Inuyasha had leapt at Naraku with the Tetsusaiga blazing like the chariots of Hell before him. Naraku stepped aside deftly, very agile in his monkey suit, and the black energy that had taken me down slammed into him from behind. Naraku stepped up to him and wrapped one hand around the wrist that yielded the Tetsusaiga and another around his throat. This was different from Sesshoumaru's poison claws, which sank in and seeped into your system slowly—this was like having your flesh burned off where you stood. This time, the sword clattered to the ground and Inuyasha let out a snarl of pain. His struggles were already growing weak, and just before he would have passed out, Naraku tossed him to the ground in disdain.

"So simple," he chuckled.

"Not simple enough," Miroku called from behind us, ready to rip open the wind tunnel and wreak havoc on the surrounding forest. "I'll end this quickly enough, once and for all—"

The great baboon head glanced into the forest, and what we hadn't noticed before was the slight humming that came from the trees and shrubs, but now it seemed to grow louder, and Miroku faltered.

"Go on, monk. I'm sure that you can get to me before the insects get to you—but your friends are closer to you that I am, and I fear that while I would certainly get pulled in, so would the rest of this group and, unfortunately, the insects you have come to know. It would be a fitting end, however, for all to be destroyed by one who is not their enemy . . ."

His badgering of Miroku, though annoying and definitely infuriating, gave me the moment I needed to steady an arrow and point it right at him. When Naraku finally glanced down at me, I had a look of murder and an arrow that shone pure white with the force of my fury. He hesitated once in alarm, and I took the opportunity to fire the arrow that could end it all. We were so close to each other that it barely left the bow before he—

Grabbed it? Not a chance in hell! Damn it!

With a sudden wrench, and an arrow already in his hand, Naraku snatched up my bow and turned my own weapon on me. The arrow burned black now, rather than white, and seemed to hum with power. "Foolish move," he told me shortly, aiming at my stomach. I took in a deep breath . . . 

He didn't shoot it at me. In fact, when it flew into the cool air, I thought he had simply shot it off into nothing, but then I saw the target stagger, and realization hit me.

"_No!_" cried Rin suddenly, worming out from the hand I had shot out to restrain her.

"Rin, no!" I exclaimed. "Miroku!"

He stepped forward immediately and picked up the little girl, and right in time, because Naraku seemed to finally comprehend that she was really there, and his dark eyes glittered with malice. "Ah, yes, the child," he growled, taking a step towards where Miroku and Rin now stood, the former struggling to keep the latter from writhing free of his grip. On pure instinct and the knowledge that he _could not_ touch Rin, I swung my foot out and around, catching him at the ankles and knocking him to the ground.

"Sango!" I shouted as I saw her peel herself up from where she had first fallen. "Get to Sesshoumaru!" He was moving; the arrow had gone right through the top of his left shoulder, and it was high enough up that it seemed to be above his collarbone. The offending arrow had buried itself in a tree, devoid of any color but its own natural brown. But there was blood, and a lot of it.

I ripped the tiny dagger from my belt, which was sheathed at the back, and dove at Naraku with a burst of insanity (because really—I would never have been brave enough to do that unless I had either been driven to madness . . . or, you know, tortured for three days on end by Naraku), aiming to go right through the baboon skin and into his throat. I must have done _something _right, because when I hit him, the skin had been emptied—a bad thing to be sure, but it meant I would have been dead on if he hadn't gone Houdini on me.

A sharp pain from the base of my neck, and I collapsed under the shock. "Do not worry about me," Naraku snarled into my ear. "I am the least of your problems. Fear now for your _human_."

Human? Miroku? No, he wasn't looking at him . . . _Sango—_

She seemed to notice him as he swooped in on her as well while she treated Sesshoumaru's shoulder, pressing a strip of cloth to it to slow the bleeding. The blood, from this far away, didn't seem quite as black as it always did. Instead, the red was more accented, brighter. He had a look of true pain etched into his face. His eyes didn't open as Sango stood and swung back her boomerang, but she didn't get to hurl it at him, as he batted her aside like a fly, and she slammed to the ground many yards back.

The baboon suit beneath me had not been duplicated; he had simply left it and wore the traditional clothing of the man whose shape he had stolen, and now his eyes burned blood-red rather than gaping black. He hit the ground directly by Sesshoumaru, hauling the demon lord to his feet by his shirt.

"Pitiful," he sneered. "You can't even keep yourself alive without the aide of a human now. Tell me, have you ever felt pain like that before?"

Golden eyes snapped open, darkened with pain until they were nearly amber. "Coward. It takes a cursed arrow to fell me rather than your own fist? You could never truly defeat me."

I felt a swell of pride at his defiance, even though it was looking bad for him. There was a groan from behind me, and horror surged up in me as I saw Inuyasha attempt to push himself to his knees. "What—Kagome?" He seemed surprised to see me, and his voice rasped. The burn on his throat, while not deadly, was certainly a nasty one. It would have to be treated immediately.

"Hey, be still," I urged quietly. "Just wait it out. We can't win this one . . ."

Miroku had made his way to us, one hand securing Rin to him and the other clamped firmly over her mouth. "Kagome, he—Sesshoumaru is bleeding too much to fight properly. If Naraku attacks him, it will kill him."

A struggle and muffled cry from Rin.

"It's okay," I hissed at her. "We'll all be fine, especially Sesshoumaru. You don't think some stupid jerk like Naraku can beat him, do you?"

She shook her head slowly.

"Good girl," I said gently. My hand tightened on the dagger, and I felt a mad desire to—well, do something stupid. I was never one for bravery and fighting uphill like Inuyasha, but . . . I couldn't just sit and let Naraku abuse Sesshoumaru while I twiddled my thumbs. Sango was unconscious on the ground, Shippou trying desperately to wake her, while Inuyasha was close to the same state. Miroku's hands were full with Rin . . . 

__

Do it. Think of what he's done to you—and everyone else. For one reason or another, everyone here has been hurt by Naraku. If you die trying . . . then you died well. Your time to sit on your ASS is over! Am I going to just hang around up here and advise_ that you do something worthwhile while instead you let your eyes get wide with horrified innocence while Inuyasha saves you? Damn, this is boring!_

All right, fine. I got it. With a heavy feeling of dread, and my hands wrapped so tightly around the dagger that I thought my fingers may fall off, I began to creep towards Naraku. Sure, running at him would have gotten me there faster, but inching was quieter. 

Almost there . . .

A few more yards . . . 

__

Damn, that was a twig . . . 

Just don't cough—no, don't breathe . . .

__

Now!

I jumped up and swung the dagger, reaching up from behind to slit his throat—but the dagger shattered on contact with his skin and as though struck by an invisible hand, I was smacked to the ground. But whether I was injured or not, he had released Sesshoumaru . . .

His blood flowed more freely now, but only from the one wound I could see. It hadn't been a trick of the light; his blood _was _redder. The stain across his exposed shirt seemed to spread with every heartbeat, and there was a nagging in the back of my mind. _Something isn't right . . . he doesn't seem right . . . _already his face had darkened with pain, making the marks that usually stood out starkly fade away and blend in. No . . . the crescent moon _was_ fading, along with the stripes on his cheek. I felt myself freeze when the nagging in the back of my mind began to realize something. Naraku, in the meantime, made no move to attack—he simply stood as my eyes fixed on Sesshoumaru's face and his own eyes turned to me. And more terrifying than the prospect of death was the fact that for once, I could actually tell what was crossing his mind when I saw his eyes. 

He was afraid.

__

What in the hell—

"Oh, _I_ see," Naraku said as though he'd just figured out a bad joke. "You thought I meant _Sango _when I told you to worry about the human! No, no, dear Kagome . . . I'm afraid Lord Sesshoumaru has more to worry about than just keeping the child safe. I think that for once, he had best fear his own mortality—nay, his own _humanity_ . . ."

I stared at the demon lord before me . . . no, the—the _human_—and watched realization dawn on his face as well. His face was now an open book of emotion, everything spelled out like it was written in permanent marker, and the fact that I could _see_ his fear was making me want to cry. Not just for him, mind you (as he had a tendency to be a jerk), but because I was finally starting to realize just how much trouble we were in _right then_.

__

The arrow, I thought numbly. _Sesshoumaru said something about the arrow being cursed—and when Naraku shot it off, it was black, not white. He did something to it when he touched it._

Behind Naraku, I saw Miroku make a run for Sango, who was beginning to stir, if only a little, and hand Rin to her, whispering into her ear fiercely before dashing back to Inuyasha's side. Inuyasha had pushed himself to his feet while all this was happening, and I had noticed the shock that dawned on his face as well when Naraku spoke. Now he was gripping the Tetsusaiga with both hands, ignoring the burns and the pain and making a clean, running sweep at Naraku with the blazing sword.

I made a move for him, rather pointlessly, but Sesshoumaru's hand shot out and grabbed my arm, anchoring me effectively. The sword sliced clean through the demon, leaving behind only his clothes as they flitted to the ground . . . but as the sword passed through, there was a mighty explosion that ripped out from where Naraku had stood (because in true Naraku fashion, he had abandoned the site), and the force of it slammed into me like a ton of bricks, making me crash back into Sesshoumaru, and then we lifted up with the force and I passed out.

*

Blackness was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes—no, when I came to. The blackness I saw only because my eyes were still shut, and I had a splitting headache. Taking several religious deity's names in vain as I sat up and pried my eyes open, I realized that I was not lying entirely on the ground. I probably hadn't even hit the ground.

Sesshoumaru, on the other hand, was not so lucky. He was actually pinned beneath me.

I looked around, alarmed to see that the sun had set and the stars were out. The moon was only a sliver in the sky; it hadn't quite been a quarter moon the night before, and it was slowly fading into shadow as the nights progressed. Within the next few days, it would be Inuyasha's respective 'time of the month,' although he was fortunate enough that the painters didn't come for a visit at the same time.

"Sesshoumaru," I hissed. He stirred only a little, and I felt a little bit panicked when he did no more moving after that. I crawled off of him, freeing him of my weight, and rolled him onto his back in hopes that he'd get up. I whispered his name again, a little louder this time, and he continued to ignore me, but I think it was because he was asleep rather than unconscious—which was good, I think. Out like a light was definitely better than knocked out.

I gently peeled away the fabric that covered the hole from that damned arrow, hoping even in the minimal light to see if there was anything I could tell. To all I could see, the blood had stopped flowing and it was clotting at a normal rate—normal for humans, anyways. How long could this last? Had Naraku cursed him for life?

I thought back to Miroku's own 'gift' from Naraku—it was a curse laid upon his family until Naraku was destroyed. Why would this be any different? It seemed like a logical curse to place upon the most powerful demon lord I'd ever met—make him what he most hated and make it last until Naraku's death. How clever.

How _evil_

We were so screwed. Two humans wandering alone at night was a common stereotype: breakfast. Granted, one human was worse off (as I had learned), but that didn't make it any smarter.

A shiver ripped through the man lying beside me, and I turned my attentions from my private thoughts to him. He was moving now, his face creased with pain and probably cold. It wasn't s cold as it had been in his lands, but demons seemed to be very good at adapting. He would probably be more susceptible to hot and cold; I thought suddenly of the many emotions on his face earlier, and tried to figure it out. Humans had emotional barriers just like demons—who ever said demons had them up stronger? It made no sense to me—unless he was a typical guy who suppressed emotion like it was a river stopped up by a dam. In that case . . . humans had a hard enough time keeping emotions carefully corked. The visual image that came to mind was one of the demon's natural powers, whatever they may be, creating a shield around him—inside was strength, intimidation, and power. Outside was the imminent danger, fear, and other emotions that discredited the impassive image. Or, in Inuyasha's case, the stick-up-my-butt image. God forbid the man ever be anything other than anal. But I digressed.

It was only a theory, but it was the impression I'd had since I began to secretly psychoanalyze Inuyasha in my free time—especially after my English class read 'Man's Search for Meaning,' and I went into therapy mode. Freud I was not, but I had my moments. But if I was right, then Sesshoumaru was going to have a few more problems than he needed.

Speaking of the devil . . . 

He let out a groan as he tried to sit up suddenly, and I grabbed his good shoulder to support him. "Hey, slow down," I exclaimed. "Don't try to move."

" . . . water," he finally snapped.

I glanced at the stream running though the trees about a hundred feet away, and escorted / dragged him over, both of us on all fours. He just about collapsed face-first into the water once we were waist-deep into it, but I guess he got some down, because then he threw up. I was at a loss, so I did the only thing I could think of, which was pull his hair back out of the way in true fashion to the statement 'real friends hold your hair back when you throw up.' After a few moments of gasping for breath, he dropped back down again, although when he didn't resurface from the swift water, I suspected he had either passed out or was trying to drown himself.

The latter seemed more likely, given what was probably his disposition, and I gently pulled him out of the water and dragged him to a sitting position near the bank. The air wasn't very cold, so I didn't worry about either of us catching a chill even when we were soaking wet, as we both collapsed when the water was ankle-deep but still swift, and I forced him to a sitting position. "Just breathe," I commanded. "You can't inhale water like it's air, you'll choke."

He struggled for a good breath, which was understandable. "Rin?" he managed.

"With Sango," I told him. "Safer with her than she is anywhere else."

"And my brother?" 

"I . . . I don't know. Maybe with them. Miroku too."

"What about Naraku?" he finally asked. 

I bit my tongue for a moment. "Gone," I admitted. "Inuyasha sliced him down the middle, but he disappeared and then . . . well, there was an explosion of some kind, and I passed out. And here we are," I added anti-climactically. 

"And I . . . I'm not—"

"Human," I finished. "Naraku cursed you. I think you're cursed to be human until we destroy him for good."

At which point he promptly threw up again.

I was never really the funky party weasel, so I had never seen one guy throw up so many times in the space of a few minutes, so this was all new, but I did my best and just didn't let go of him.

"That bastard," he snarled, winded. "When I get my hands around his cowardly neck—"

"You won't do anything until you're well," I corrected. "So get used to it. For now, what we need to do is start a campfire and get you dried out. I know that starting a fire in the middle of this damned forest isn't the brightest thing to do, what with all the demons, but we're out of options."

He looked up finally and took in our surroundings. "These are not my woods," Sesshoumaru said slowly.

I turned to stare at him. "_What_?"

"This forest—it is not one of the few in my lands. All the streams come down from the mountains, and the forests are much thicker. This water—it is considerably warmer than what flows through the Western Lands, and there are no mountains."

I felt a chill that wasn't from the night air. "So where are we?" I asked tightly.

"Either the East or the South," he reasoned. "I cannot be sure until we find a village."

"Well then we wait until morning," I said grimly.

He began to stand up, but he swayed a bit, and I reached up to steady him. "We go _now_," he snapped, suddenly angry.

"You," I told him in a sharp, parenting voice, "are more vulnerable than you've ever been before. The minute we go tramping through the woods, we'll alert every random demon that we're only two people and stupid. Until you get the hang of being human, we're not going _anywhere_. Because face it, I don't care what you _think_ you can do, you probably can't, because you're human. So why don't you hurry up and come to terms with it? YOU ARE HUMAN."

And then he threw up again.

Great.


	9. My Hand is in the Cookie Jar

Yeah, sorry it's been so long. Bit of a cliffy at the end. And since I haven't said it once since I started my story, I have no ownership of Inuyasha or the involved characters. Hah.

*

We sat around a pitiful fire later on, drying slowly from our romp in the creek, and I had insisted that he chew on some leaves that helped nausea (and bad breath, which was bound to be a side effect after yakking three times in a row.) in case he started to feel sick again. It wasn't Pepto Bismal or anything, but it was the best I could come up with.

"How's your shoulder?" I asked after a very long silence.

"Fine," was all he said.

"Any other wounds I should know about?"

"No."

I sighed. "Hungry?"

"No."

"Want me to build up the fire?"

"If you must."

Fine. If he insisted on being moody, then that was his problem. It wasn't like I didn't have plenty to think about anyways, so I was completely all right with ignoring him. He didn't want to talk anyways. 

My mind drifted once I wasn't worried about small talk, and I found myself thinking about . . . oh hell. Who did I think about constantly now? My mind and body still bore the scars of my vacation with Naraku, and some of them (like the one on my stomach, which had begun to bleed again) would never heal. I was more unnerved by the way we had passed the time—talking, in between shredding me like paper. I knew his ultimate motive for allowing himself to tell me the things he told me: when you're a demon hell-bent on destruction, you don't really get to talk to a lot of people. After probably a day and a half of badgering, I finally got something out of him—a lot of somethings, actually.

While it wasn't the primary reason for taking me, my resemblance to Kikyo played a large part in choosing _me_ to catch off-guard rather than Sango, whose wounds from Naraku also ran deep. On some sick, twisted level, I truly began to suspect that in his own form and fashion, Naraku had been in love with the now-dead priestess. She alone had cared for him when he was dying, and I felt in him the futility of knowing that he would never again walk or be able to trick her into following him. Sure, the Shikkon Jewel had a lot to do with it too, but . . . well, you know how it went. He hadn't quite meant to show me these sides of himself, but it had been inevitable: when you open your mind up totally to scare the piss out of someone, you can't help but let them see the good _and_ the bad.

I thought back to the miasma that had brought Inuyasha to the mountain where the demons fought. And I also remembered how he took Kikyo—he didn't kidnap her, he just took her and carried her like a doll he was afraid of breaking. It was like she was precious to him. 

I could see, in 20-20 hindsight, that it was why he had been unable to kill me this time. Sure, when he first saw me, it had seemed like killing me would be the _fun_ thing to do . . . maybe because he remembered Kikyo being in love with Inuyasha. Whatever happened, it was now blatantly obvious that she didn't love him. If a soul only housed by a mere shell could hate, I think she hated him. The conversation flitted back to me in bits and pieces, one of many things I had tried to block out and failed.

__

I was suspended in thin air, as though a string connected the top of my spine to the sky above and I dangled like a doll. My eyes were closed to keep blood from running into them.

"Your jewel shards . . . I thank you for them," Naraku said in a conversational tone, sitting calmly on the ground, dressed in what could have been pajamas. "They will be of much use to me."

I said nothing. I suspected my jaw was broken, and I didn't have to talk anyways. Words formed in my mind and he heard them as though I had spoken out loud. Inuyasha will kill you before you can use them.

__

"I think not. All that eludes me is the shard I so kindly lent Lord Sesshoumaru, and that will be no obstacle to retrieve. I daresay you will be a fine bartering chip, in fact."

You've lost your mind.

__

"Have I? I seem to see a memory of you in a very compromising position with him not long after I lent him the jewel shard—and the arm. Let's see . . . he not only saved you from me_, he invited you to travel with him, and then there was an incident at a hot spring in the Western Lands . . . I imagine that at the very least, he has something of a . . ." he seemed to think about the word. " . . . a crush on you, as you would say," he finished. "Though I have always pegged him as very repressed. So who knows? Perhaps he loves you with every fiber of his being and cannot bring himself to approach you. Or perhaps you simply amuse him._

Perhaps it's none of your damn business! You don't see me badgering you about Kikyo, do you? 

__

He stiffened. I hadn't mentioned anything about the other priestess once, but now seemed as good a time as any to piss him off so much that he killed me. His mounting anger made the 'string' attached to my spine pull tighter as my body remained stationary. It felt like my spinal cord was going to be ripped out.

"Do not compare my trials to your own," he warned.

The implication in my mind (that he saw, by the way) was one that spoke of skepticism. So there was_ a trial to speak of?_

He pushed into my mind, triggering parts of my brain that were reserved only for pain. A cry welled up in my throat when my brain told me that red-hot wood had been shoved through my stomach.

No such thing had actually been done, however.

I clenched my teeth, and realized that my jaw didn't actually hurt. Maybe that was an impression he had put into my mind, as well. I tested the theory. "You hunted Inuyasha because of her, and you still torment him because of her. All this is because you met Kikyo." A little pain to be sure, especially from my raw throat, but I suspected my jaw wasn't broken.

He pressed a few more triggers, and this time, now that my mouth worked, I was able to scream. But I had carried suspicions the entire time, and now I acted on them. I snagged the brief contact between our conscious minds and, in turn, pried his open as well. I didn't actually see anything—or even feel anything, but he pulled away suddenly, and then blackness engulfed me.

*

I came to slowly, sore in more places than before, and still suspended like a marionette. I had no energy left.

"Do you really demand to know the truth about Kikyo?" came Naraku's dangerously soft voice. H e was angry. I suspected he'd been angry since I passed out.

I said nothing. I was burned out entirely. Even my spirit was growing weary.

"A truly horrible thing to behold," he said thoughtfully, "is a dying man who desires what he cannot have. The fool Onegumo would never walk again. He had no way of healing himself and, perhaps, someday lure the priestess to him. He was a greedy mortal obsessed with the Shikkon Jewel and the beauty it radiated when it's bearer was tainted with evil, but he was also a human with a heart buried by years of evil. I suspect that Kikyo unearthed it without knowing. But rather than love him, she loved a half-demon. With the knowledge he would never again live as he once had, and the bitter resentment of Kikyo's choice, he invoked demons from all around to consume his body and turn him into one who could take the Jewel from her and make her feel his wrath. He had a perverted mind and soul, but even he could not control the demons who merged within him. I was borne of one man's greed and hatred. It is all I know, and it is all I wish to know. I will use the jewel to become a true demon, not this half-and-half creation of a desperate and evil man. But do not think this will stop once I have used the Shikkon Jewel," he added. "If you live long enough to see it completed, then you will not live long after that. I have plans for this world—and yours . . ."

I let out a heaving sigh and got an odd look from Sesshoumaru over the flames. "Sorry, just thinking," I said absently.

He looked away, irritation written into his face, along with a hint of futility. I sobered at the sight. "Are you okay?" I asked.

"I am human," was his response, as though that should answer my question. 

I felt a tug of pity. "Guess not."

He must have seen the pity, because his face darkened considerably with pent-up anger. "I would prefer you not feel sorry for me," he growled. "I am not a thing to be pitied."

I bit my lip. "Didn't mean to say you were. Very sorry."

"I will be the one to destroy Naraku," he added in an offhand way. "In the very end, I will let no other take my revenge from me."

"Everyone says that."

"Everyone is wrong."

I remained silent. "I don't really need revenge on Naraku. The knowledge that he'll get what's coming to him is enough to hold me over. The only person I ever hated enough to even _think_ of killing was Kikyo."

A surprised glance (he was proving very bad at keeping his emotions off his face). "The priestess?"

I nodded. 

"The one my brother loves."

I snorted. "Nope. He actually hates her—in theory, at least."

"In theory?" he repeated scornfully.

"Yep. I mean . . . he hates everything she stands for, and all the things she's done, but when he gets around her, it's like . . . no matter what, he'll always be responsible for what happened with them. He just can't kill her, because to him, he'll have killed her again. She plays on that like a drum every time she sees him, manipulates him to do whatever she thinks he'll do for her. He almost followed her into Hell," I said bitterly. "He would have."

"Then he is a fool. No human is worth dying for."

"Not even Rin?" I asked darkly.

"Leave her out of this." His voice was deceptively calm.

"Well anyways. The other problem I have with Kikyo is the fact that she has _no _respect for the fact that technically, we share the same soul. Or we did," I added, "until some genius decided to bring her back and take part of _my_ soul to do so. She sees me as competition for Inuyasha—she honestly thinks that I'm a threat to her. But beyond that, she doesn't consider me a person. I'm just a walking doll made to look like her, not even worth her time of day. The only time she cared enough to even show she didn't like me was when she took my damn jewel shards. But no, Inuyasha doesn't love her."

"Interesting. And where is this priestess now?"

I shrugged. "I think she's finally truly gone—maybe her soul finally descended into Hell—or Heaven, wherever her soul was destined to go. But every time I think that, she shows back up again and makes everyone miserable, so who knows? She was a healer for a while; maybe she's still using some of her powers for good." I raised my eyes to glance at him, and felt a sigh inside at how tired he looked. "But enough talking for now. I'm exhausted—you don't mind if I sleep, right?"

"Go ahead," was his absent reply.

Before I made myself really comfortable on that nice, rocky ground, I stole a last look at him. Even as a human, with no demon markings to accent his features, he was still—well, beautiful. Serene and silent, flames casting dancing shadows across his face and bringing out his defined cheekbones, he still had the unearthly beauty that even humanity couldn't hide. I shivered and lay down, inching closer to the fire and closing my eyes.

"Kagome," he said before I could drift off.

I propped myself up on an elbow. "Yeah?"

His voice was soft. "Come over here."

I blinked. "_What?_"

"Just do it. Get over here, on this side of the fire, beside me, and shut up." I began to do so with a definite toll of confusion and just a little—"And whatever you do, don't look behind you," he added calmly. I sighed. Great—some big bad out in the woods. Well so much for the late-night snuggle.

As I approached him, he stood up and looked out into the darkness of the forest, hand on the hilt of his sword. Wait, he never used the sword! Didn't it only—maybe it was just for show. "Show yourself," he called, his voice gentle with an underlying edge of nerves.

I frowned, certain there was nothing in the woods, and then disappointed when I had to eat my words. Whatever had been lurking in the forest came out into our little clearing and towered over us, definitely a demon and definitely huge. How in the hell had I not heard it crashing around? Something that big was bound to make noise.

"Who are you to trespass in my land?" the creature rumbled.

"We meant no offense. We are travelers lost in a strange country."

"You did not have leave to be here."

Frustration was now clear on his face, and I muttered, "Now see how it feels."

His hand dropped from the sword. "What lands are these?"

"These are the Northern Lands."

A very soft "_Shit_," just out of the demon's earshot. ":I am Lord Sesshoumaru, gone for now from my lands and traveling back to them. The Lady of your lands should know of my presence by now. We are pursued by a half-demon by name of Naraku."

An audible growl. "I see. An enemy of yours?"

"Yes."

"An enemy of my enemy is my friend," the biggie-sized demon rumbled. "I did not recognize you, little Lord of the West."

I stifled a giggle. Someone thought he was _little_? Well . . . okay, in comparison, yeah. Not in comparison to me and Inuyasha, but to this demon? Pet Chihuahua. I swallowed when I looked up at it, its three eyes blood-red and its teeth looking more like a meat grinder than anything else. I shivered and inched closer to Sesshoumaru.

The demon looked down at me. "Who is the human you travel with?"

He seemed at a loss. "She—she is a . . ."

"Priestess," I supplied. "I am the reincarnation of the healer Kikyo, and I travel with Sesshoumaru until I find my friends."

"Kikyo?" it repeated. "She healed many of the villages here once. You are welcome as well, then."

I did my best not to pass out with relief. 

"So you travel together?"

"For now," I said before Sesshoumaru could say anything rotten about me.

It nodded its massive head. "Until you are in the confines of a village," it advised us with what seemed suspiciously like a wink, "I would refrain from any . . . _activity_ between you. Many demons are drawn for miles by the sound and smell, and they are very evil demons from neighboring lands. So be wise and keep the fire in between you."

Activity? What was he . . . oh. I began to blush furiously, and glanced away, trying to think of a decent comeback that was at least semi-polite. Sesshoumaru did it for me. "She merely accompanies me for a short time," he said in a clipped voice (although when I glanced up at him, there seemed to be definite color to his cheeks. Maybe it was just the fire . . .). "Nothing more."

"Of course," the demon said in what could have passed as a condescending tone. "My mistake . . ." I half-expected Sesshoumaru to say something like, "That's right, it _is_ your mistake," but he didn't.

"Be safe this night," it told us as it turned and moved into the forest with amazing silence. "Tomorrow travel east to the sun, and you will find the village of the Lady of the North. If you are who you say, she will welcome you and aide you on your journey. Good-night."

" . . . Aide me on my journey?" he repeated when the demon had gone. "More likely chain me to the . . ." He cut himself off. "Go to sleep," he said suddenly. "We leave before sunrise."

So I lay down and closed my eyes, but I didn't return to my side of the fire and he didn't make me.

*

****

Inuyasha

We had been walking for probably four hours before I collapsed—that little bitch was gonna get his ass beat into a pulp if I had _anything_ to do with it—and I would. My whole brain was humming with several currents of thought.

__

I'm gonna kill Naraku when I get my hands around that goddamn neck of his.

Is Kagome alive?

Damn, walking hurts.

Sesshoumaru is human_?_

Is Kagome all right?

If he doesn't shut up, I'm going to have to kill Miroku . . .

And she's alone_ with him? How are they supposed to protect themselves?_

. . . with my bare hands. I will wring his neck and twist . . . 

She can't be dead. Even the monk is still alive.

He's got all the jewel shards but one.

How is Sesshoumaru human_? Is it a curse, like the wind tunnel?_

I hope they know to go to Kaede's village.

Shit, I hope she's okay.

So understandably, the dull hum of frenzied thoughts gave me a headache and made me a little bit crabby. If I'd had the grace to, I'd have felt sorry for Miroku for tolerating it.

But who said he needed sympathy?

We stopped walking once I hit my knees and couldn't get back up, and Miroku insisted on stopping for the night. The sun's glow hadn't even faded from the sky yet—wimp. He was just afraid of the damned dark.

I was scowling the entire time he cooked a rat or something. "That's disgusting," I told him.

He glanced at me. "Well I didn't think you'd mind—I always pegged you as the hunter."

I wrinkled my nose and looked away. "Shoot me in the ass before I eat something that was alive the last time I saw it."

"True to your canine instincts," he said dryly. "I hope we run into Sango at some point. I think she has Shippou and Rin with her. They should be relatively safe."

I shrugged. "Who cares? If Shippou dies, well, then that's one less person I have to rescue all the time. Rin? That kid is Sesshoumaru's problem. Sango can take care of herself."

"What about Kagome?" Miroku asked calmly.

My mood, already dark, blackened. "She slammed back into my brother, and then I blacked out. Wherever she is, she's with him."

"Then she's safe?"

"No, she's not safe! He can't do _shit!_ You know how I get when there's a new moon?" I demanded. "I do it every month and I _still_ can't protect anyone! He's never—_ever_—been human before, and now he's STUCK as one! And to top it off, his damned sword only heals! It doesn't protect! God_damnit!_ If she hadn't been so damned worried about him, she wouldn't have been over there with him and gotten into this! Now she's who-knows-where, away from us, and totally vulnerable, and there's nothing I can do about it!"

The monk watched me calmly. "I see. Well perhaps it's for the best that they're together right now. Heaven only knows they've got some things to work out."

"Oh, right, and shipping them off _alone_ is a good way to work it out," I said angrily. "Would you want to be stuck alone with Sango in a situation like that?"

A small smile flickered across his face. "Actually—"

"All right, pervert, forget I asked. Bad example. My point is, even if he's human and virtually unable to protect her from anything, that means he can't protect her from himself, either. I mean . . . I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do if I can't be there to protect her! Yes, he's an asshole, yes, he's homicidal, and yes, he's a jerk, but . . . he's _human_ now and he—" I just couldn't make myself say it. The thought—just the _concept . . . _

"If you're trying to imply that he's attracted to her," Miroku offered, "then I know what you're getting at. He's had excellent control to the best of my knowledge—in fact, he's actually managed to keep it on the . . . erm, the D.L., I think Kagome would say. And I suspect it's just a passing thing, anyways. As great and powerful as he usually is, I should think he wouldn't give up life as a bachelor for someone who just turned seventeen."

I was grinding my teeth—he was _such_ an idiot. Even his voice made me twitch. "He's completely incapable of feeling anything resembling emotion unless it benefits him in some way, so quit talking about 'a passing thing,'" I snapped. "You forget who we're discussing here."

"Yes, but you yourself forget who his usual traveling companion is—an eight-year-old human girl, if I'm not mistaken, and I'm guessing her age. How does he benefit from that? Besides, I'm sure we're wrong. For all we know, they're biting each other's heads off right now with hatred."

*

****

Kagome

The sun glaring into my face was what woke me up. No longer was it chilly out, but warm instead, and while the temperature was nice, the rocky ground still felt like . . . well, rocky ground. Lovely. I rolled over—

And bumped into someone.

Oh shit. Um—where—who was . . . 

Oh. Duh. I opened my eyes and found myself face-to-face with Sesshoumaru, who was sound asleep. I hadn't pictured him a heavy sleeper, but I guess he was tired. So much for leaving before sunrise. I considered for a moment waking him up, but people tend to be crabbiest when they've just gotten up, and that was something I'd like to delay as long as possible.

From the way the sun had risen in the sky, I figured it was almost noon, and reveled in the first decent sleep I'd had since my last trip home, which had been a weekend and I'd slept till eleven. I sat up slowly, careful to not bump him, and found, to my surprise, that I was a bit tangled. And by tangled, I mean that I had snuggled right up to him and entwined our ankles, and his arm was draped haphazardly around me, and so we were effectively . . . erm, tangled. Plus I had wrapped my own arm around his waist, and that was trapped by his arm, so . . . um, yeah. Whoopsy.

If—oh, jeez, if he woke up and we were like this . . . he was _never_ going to believe that it wasn't my fault. Honest to goodness, we had gone to sleep several feet apart, and _I _ sure as hell hadn't intentionally scooched over to snuggle (although his big argument would be 'Neither did I!' so there went the insinuation that he _did_. Wouldn't hold water.), but there we were. Very carefully, in case he woke up, I pulled my ankle gently away from his legs, then set to the task of the upper-body area. My arm gradually snaked away from him, and I sighed. My part was over. Now all I had to worry about was getting _him_ off of _me._ With a grim demeanor, I rolled very quickly away, sprawling out on my stomach away from him but taking his arm with me on accident. At the sudden movement, Sesshoumaru jerked awake with a start.

We lay like that for a moment, me flat on my stomach with my face pressed to the earth and him half pushed-up on his elbow, eyes narrowed suspiciously while mine were wide and as innocent as I could make them. With a glare, he removed his arm from where it now lay on my back and then turned to me.

"Care to explain?"

I blinked innocently. "Looks like you missed me last night," I said timidly.

He snorted. "Try again!"

"I dunno. I just woke up. Am I in trouble for breathing? I know how you hate it when I do that."

A scowl. "You snore, human. It kept me up the entire night."

"I do not!"

"You do," he informed me smoothly, "and so do not complain about being tired later on. I did not sleep as easily as you did and I was up much earlier."

I rolled my eyes. "Were not."

He sat cross-legged before me. "I was. You yourself cannot contend otherwise; _you_ just woke up. You wouldn't know."

I arched an eyebrow. "Does that mean you want to snuggle again later?"

He shook his head. "You are truly annoying," he declared. "Get up—we're already behind. The day is half-spent."

I stood and combed the knots out of my hair with my fingers, sighing heavily. He was such a bad liar—if he'd been awake when I woke up, he definitely wouldn't have admitted to it. Ha ha on him. He really needed to learn how to lie better, especially if he was a human until we killed Naraku (and who knew how long that would take?). I rubbed a crick out of my neck and followed after him, as he had no intention of letting me eat before we left. (The other thing he needed to learn was that humans had to eat, too.)

Sesshoumaru gave me a skewed glance over his shoulder as I peeled myself off the ground and rubbed my neck. "You are truly stupid," he sighed. "You slept like that all night?"

I bit my tongue. I felt like I'd slept on a rock . . . oh, wait, I _had_ slept on a rock. "Sure. I slept like that all night."

*

It was the little things that suggested Sesshoumaru wasn't nearly as comfortable being around me as he projected. Actually, he projected indifference, not comfort, but the indifference seemed to be a little challenged as well. Maybe it was the fact that he went out of his way to stay about three feet away from me at all times, maybe it was the way he absolutely did not touch me, or even the way he tried not to talk to me—but maybe I was paranoid. I mean, I'm just so darned cute and cuddly, why _wouldn't_ he like travelling with me?

Jeez.

Sure, I was bothered by the fact that he seemed adamantly plagued by my presence, but really. I couldn't dwell on it the entire time, now, could I? If I did, I'd be sulking and offended and altogether unpleasant to be around. No, I decided, it was probably nothing to worry about. 

And BESIDES, who in the hell said I cared?! I mean, sure we'd had our moments (one of which was two nights ago), but that didn't mean _anything_ to me. Really. Just because we'd had a bit of a snog-fest didn't mean we were married or anything. _Two_ snog-fests, actually. But I wasn't counting. Really—who counted these things? Not me. The point was, I didn't have any real claim to him. So I didn't care.

Seriously.

*

****

Sesshoumaru 

I did not profess to live a life of purity or good deeds, but what in the hell had I done to deserve this? Trapped in the body of a pitiful human, utterly blind and defenseless, and travelling with someone I'd spent the better part of two years _avoiding_? It was almost enough to make me sick. Again. 

I could not sense the world around me, save for the obvious birds chirping in a disgustingly cheerful song and the human's incessant talking, but I could _truly_ hear nothing. And I smelled nothing, either. It was like being blindfolded, gagged, and bound with a sign that said EAT ME. I felt utterly weak and helpless. And I did not like it.

What I also felt was . . . well, emotion. Not to say that I did not have emotions before, but all demons must keep them under control. Anger, grief, joy—all were kept carefully hidden. An emotional demon lord was a dead one, as my father ended up demonstrating. But now . . . I had my same mind and spirit, but perhaps one of the givens of being a true demon was the ability to keep one's feelings at bay. Now, in this pathetic body, I did not have the walls I had so carefully erected inside myself, and keeping the distance between myself and the human girl was becoming increasingly difficult—

"You know, if you're planning on being that antisocial, then maybe you'd like a bubble to walk around in," she said sourly.

--Until she actually talked, and then it was no trouble at all.

I had long since dropped the heavy armor once the sun rose higher into the sky, and I adjusted the damp material on my shoulders fastidiously. "I never said I was antisocial," I threw back. "I just don't want to talk to you."

She huffed and folded her arms. "Fine. Be a jerk if you must."

"Thank you for the permission," I scowled. She was annoying when she was annoyed.

"Damn, it's hot out here," she muttered, adjusting her own clothes. The black jacket that covered her arms was shed suddenly, revealing a black shirt that was—erm, _revealing_, to say the least. The neck was low and the hem was high, but the pants rode around her hips, and—

__

Stop looking. It's just skin.

Indeed, but there was certainly a lot of it.

She tied the jacket around her waist and fanned herself, her hair no longer holding its shape in the unusual heat. "Put that back on," I snapped.

Kagome snorted. "_You_ put it back on."

"We're approaching the capital city of the Northern Lands," I informed her snappishly. "I would ordinarily allow you to enter it dressed like that, as I could ordinarily provide ample protection against the fools who would approach you, but under the circumstances, I advise you cover yourself."

"How do you know where we are, anyways?" 

"I travelled this way many times when I was younger. The forest is only this thick close to the city." My other concern was that should she travel looking like some sort of scarlet woman, she would be mistaken for _my_ scarlet woman, and the last thing I needed was the jealousy of the Lady of the North, especially while I was embarrassingly human. This stupid, stupid girl was going to get us both killed—the North City did not take kindly to humans of any sort, even if it happened to be a temporary condition. Hopefully they would not notice that my marks had vanished. I would find a reasonable excuse if they did.

Kagome peered through the thick forest. "There _is _something through the forest," she stated. "I sense—I don't know. Something . . . ooooh, not _evil_, but . . . not good. Damn, if these priestess powers don't start shaping up and doing what I tell them, I'm not going to be very happy. What good are sacred gifts if they're useless?"

"Not useless," I corrected her with a sideways glance, "especially if you can sense the woman who dwells in that city from here. Humans take their gifts for granted." 

She let a childish scowl cross her young features, and her smoky eyes darkened. "Right," she sighed.

We walked in silence for a few minutes before she spoke again. "So how did you end up striking a deal with Naraku a while back?" she finally asked.

I did not look at her. "He presented me with this arm and bade me kill Inuyasha. I had no qualms about it at the time and I have none now. I like my brother no more than I did before. He is still a fool who lifted no finger to aid our father when he was killed and allowed a human woman to overtake him."

"Wasn't he trapped to a tree when your father was killed?" Kagome asked meekly.

I sneered with contempt. "Does it matter? He was overtaken with a foolish fondness for a _human_, a weakness in itself, and because of his own damned weakness, he was unable to help the one person in this world who cared about him. Did you know he hated our father?" I asked suddenly. The question came from nowhere. I suddenly disliked being human even more—I was not prone to talking this much about my own past.

She blinked. "I—I thought he liked him."

I shook my head. "No. He was the son my father truly loved, but he was blinded by hatred. He could never forgive my father for siring him as a half-breed cursed to be alone all his life. He lived under the same roof as his mother and my father, but when he was old enough, he set out on his own to try and unmake the life that had been made for him. His true happiness eluded him, and he eventually sought the Jewel to try and become a human." I could not keep the disgust and slow, burning hatred out of my voice. "The boy selfishly left a man who would give his life for him in the end, amid his foolish hatred. That was why my father was eventually killed," I added in what passed as a human growl. "He not only kept secret his human lover, but he sired a child by her and kept that secret as well. I myself did not find out until the boy was nearly seven, and I said nothing to the greedy, foolish demon bastards who sought to overthrow him. I could have slipped a rumor to them, been rid of the brat and his mother easily with little repercussion to my father—but he bid me stay silent, and I did so."

Her dark eyes were now fixed on me with fascination, sadness, and dawning horror. "And—they found out eventually?" she pressed uncertainly, revealing what was beginning to horrify her.

I nodded, feeling myself grow furious over this bitter past that could not be changed. "After that damned fool had been trapped to the tree, word spread that my father had taken a human to his bed and to his home. I do not know to this day who spoke it first, otherwise they would be dead now. My father was confronted by a few of them, ordered to do away with the woman and her brat immediately. Had he done that . . . he would have been spared. Certainly his position would have been stripped, but he would have lived. The Lords of the East and South had his woman killed while he was away, but none went for my brother. My father alone knew where he was. The Lords requested he find his son and give him to them, promising him no harm. I happen to trust them when they give their word, but the old fool refused to say where the brat was. I was called by my own mother to defend him, then kill Inuyasha myself to avenge her honor, save my father's life, and generally satisfy the demons of the land—but I alone was not enough to save him. They came in great numbers to dispose of him—a man who takes a human to bed and protects the child spawned is one ruled by emotion, and that makes one weak when ruling others. I was wounded. He was killed."

Her eyes had left me, and her dark hair kept me from seeing her eyes. She seemed to hesitate before speaking, but when she finally did, her words came out in soft, halted rush. "My dad died when I was really young," she said quietly. "At least you got to know yours. I was too young when he was killed to really have any clear memories of him. I remember the pipe he smoked in the evenings—my mom hated it. She always wanted him to quit. He worked in a factory, on the assembly line. There was an accident when I was six . . . the guy who owned the whole company, Amasha-OmaruCorp., came by my house to tell my mom in person before someone from the company called to tell her. I wasn't actually in the room when he told her, but I listened by the door. Some guy operating a forklift was using the one that had a broken . . . fork, I guess. My dad had walked under it because he wasn't paying attention or something, and the lift broke when he was underneath it. There were three thousand pounds of solid steel in a crate above him that was going to be melted. Souta was too young to remember it, but I do. The guy—he was really tall to me back then—gave me a letter to read when I got older. I read it when I turned ten," she continued softly. "It had his deepest condolences, he was sorry for my loss, all that crap . . . but he also said that he should have known that something could go wrong, and that everyone should have been overly careful at all times and he felt personally responsible. I let my mom read it, and she said people don't usually take responsibility for stuff like that. I guess it's part of the debt the company owes us for it, because along with that, weird little stuff happens all the time now. Some big corporation—not as big as the one my dad worked for—was going to evict us from the shrine a few years back to put a highway down—like Tokyo needs another highway. Anyways, the city gave them leave to do it, and so we had a notice that gave us all a week to be out of the house and empty the shrine. But someone else who I guess was over their heads called it off and told them to leave my family alone and let us keep the land. The highway did go up, but it's about three miles east of us. And business has gone up since more people pass by," she added, a phony cheer in her voice. "Mom said it was Dad's old company that pulled strings and let us keep the shrine."

I had never seen her so dejected. Her eyes, usually alight with cheer or mischief, were dull and smoky. She had silently slipped back into the jacket as we walked, and said nothing else. The urge to reach out to her—hold her, maybe even just touch her—was overwhelming. A concept I was unfamiliar with wanted me to wrap my arms around her—comfort? How alien. I stayed my distance, however, and even put a little more between us. Kagome glanced up as the gap widened, but this time she said nothing.

Now I was feeling . . . guilt? Wonderful. This day just got better and better.

*

****

Kagome

You know what? Maybe being stuck with a moody Sesshoumaru was even less fun than I'd pegged it to be. Sure, he spilled his guts, and I spilled mine . . . that didn't mean we had to _like_ each other or anything. And God forbid we actually stand each other for a minute! Well Krishna and Christ on a stick. Some pair we were.

After that incident, my good mood had spiralled down into oblivion and I said absolutely nothing to the crabby bastard. I mean—I had dumped my _life_ out on him, and he just took a step back from me, like he couldn't stand to be around me—like my mere presence itself sickened him. That was _fine_. I'd just be the bigger person and, you know, not speak to him. At all. The silent treatment sounded great right then, no pun intended.

I was fine. I didn't care what he thought (even if he _did_ probably hate me), I didn't care if he talked to me or not, I didn't even care if he walked off a cliff. In fact, I was _so_ fine that I didn't even notice the circle of demons around us suddenly. I don't know how they got there; maybe they'd been following us for awhile, maybe they'd just kind of stumbled upon us and decided to form a circle. I wasn't frankly paying attention. All I know is that when I quit feeling sorry for myself long enough to realize that Sesshoumaru had reached out and physically restrained me from continuing, I was looking down the shaft of an arrow and into the cool blue eyes of an exceptionally good-looking demon.


	10. The Lady of Dreams

God, I wish Nanashi could be a Yu-Gi-Oh cross! I want Yami, baby! **Sorry** this is a **long** chapter, and VERY WEIRD. Even though there is some K/N action here, it's not anything really romantic. Just some flashbacks. But there is some . . . citrus . . . EEEEWWW . . . And . . . oh, jeez, this is a disturbing chapter. There is DEFINITE adult content here—Kagome and Sesshoumaru, but it's not all between the two of them. The Naraku/Kagome scene is there simply because it was the single-most humiliating thing that he did to her, not because I'm trying to make this a K/N, but to show just what Naraku will do. I also suspect he was having some little private Kikyo fantasy, but it's there because I needed to make a point. It's important to the plot. And DON'T HATE SESSHOUMARU!! If anything, hate _me,_ because I'm the author and he's my bitch and he did what I wrote him to do. If this whole story is going to end right so that I can start on the sequel, then he's got to do what I make him do. I BLED over this chapter; I had _kittens _over this chapter! Give me reviews; my soul needs to be replenished, as most of it is in this chapter. I busted my ass for this, people! And I don't even _like_ this chapter!

*

__

Stunning didn't quite cover it. _Gorgeous_ didn't quite cover it. Drop-dead shoot-me-in-the-ass-he's-so-freaking-sexy didn't even cover it. I think I may have swooned. Sesshoumaru, his hand clamped on my arm to keep me from walking into the arrow a moment ago, tightened, and he had this could-you-be-more-stupid look on his face. I was a bit busy being stunned by both the knockout in front of me and the way my eyes crossed when I saw how close the arrow was. It was notched and the string taut, and I don't think that mentioning to the guy that he was pretty much gorgeous in an ungodly way wouldn't stop him from shooting me, if he hated humans as much as Sesshoumaru tended to. In the typical fashion of a girl whose brain had turned to mush in the presence of a very attractive person, I managed to say "Um—Sessh—er—wha—"

He narrowed his eyes. "If you would remove your blasted arrow from my companion's face, you ignorant fool, I would very much appreciate it." 

The demon gave him what passed as a bored look, and made no move to lower his bow. "Are you one to be giving orders in someone else's land, Lord Sesshoumaru? I think that you are in no position to give them to _me_, as rumor has it that you are . . . shall we say, regrettably human at the moment."

I think if he hadn't already thrown up three times in the past few days, he would have thrown up again. "Are you threatening me?"

A lazy smile. "No. Although I have no intentions of putting an arrow through this young thing here, so if you'll relax a little bit . . . she's far too beautiful to be maimed in such a way." So of course I turned a shade of scarlet previously unknown to mankind.

"Keep your hands to yourself, Nanashi," Sesshoumaru warned softly as the golden-haired demon touched my cheek lightly.

The arrow had since lowered from my line of sight, and the demon gestured for his other warriors to lower their weapons as well. "I raised no hand in threat, my Lord. Lady Saeko wishes to see you both—though whether to confirm the truth of your weakened state or take advantage of it, I do not know." I didn't want to dwell on what exactly the guy meant by that—I was a little busy watching Nanashi carefully. His eyes shifted color once, from iridescent blue to a darker color, almost violet—or deep, deep crimson. It seemed to suit him, but I was still a bit unnerved. No one should be that good-looking; it should just be illegal.

He raised his hand in the air and snapped his fingers, and the arrows were traded for spears, all of which were trained on Sesshoumaru mercilessly. My eyes widened. "Uh, was that called for?" I asked, a little uncertain as to whether I should say anything. "He didn't—"

"Be silent, girl," Sesshoumaru said smoothly. "I do not need you to fight my battles for me. It is merely a formality."

Some formality!

Nanashi turned to me. "Follow me. The Lady awaits you in her castle." And with that, he set off at a steady stride, me behind, followed by Sesshoumaru and his fan club of lethal weapons.

*

No one really said much until we reached the castle, but the armed and figuratively trigger-happy guards dispersed at the gate and Nanashi led us through the grounds to a courtyard, which was empty. He turned to me, ignoring the dark look he was getting from Sesshoumaru and giving me a small smirk that made my toes curl. "Tell me your name, human."

I swallowed. "Kagome," I fumbled once I found my tongue.

"A beautiful name. How did one such as yourself come to such deplorable company as Lord Sesshoumaru?" he wondered.

"By accident," Sesshoumaru snapped, "and it is no concern of yours."

"It is a concern of _mine_," came a new voice that sounded like the wind chimes at the shrine, "if you are truly being pursued by Naraku. Especially if you are in my lands. I desire no contact or interaction with Naraku, and I do not want the likes of you to bring him running."

"He seeks fragments of the Shikkon Jewel," he said sharply, "and so we would be best off if we left here immediately."

"I was under the impression you were here on business." The figure speaking came into view, and I hated her immediately. You know that phrase 'don't hate me because I'm beautiful'? She was more beautiful than Nanashi, and that was saying a lot. Even I, a straight girl all the way, couldn't help but notice just about everything about her and how damned perfect the bitch was.

Jealous? Nah.

Although if I was struck dumb by how gorgeous she was, Sesshoumaru didn't seem to bat an eyelash. If he knew her, then he was probably immune to her. Unless he was so used to seeing her that he didn't even have to imagine what—

__

Oh stop it. It's not like she's competition—especially if you're not even with him. I caught the way he didn't really even look at her with anything but annoyance, but I also caught the looks _she_ was giving _him_—and they were definitely not annoyed. But then again, who didn't look at him once and do a double-take?

Oh for crying out loud. What kind of world was this when I was totally surrounded by beautiful people?? A very sick one, that's what.

Nanashi stood a little apart from me, arms clasped behind his back. "It seems that rather than business, he is taking great interest in his own life now. What of the girl, my Lord? Is this the child that people say you travel with?"

"This is the reincarnation of Kikyo," came the smart reply. "I know of no child." His words came back to me suddenly—his father had been killed because of a human woman with a child. No way would he give them an excuse to go after Rin.

Lady Saeko folded her arms. "Kikyo, you say? Well what a development. I did not imagine you would be so foolish as to show your face in my lands, girl."

I balked. Had she made someone's life miserable here, too? Great. When I got my hands on that sorry excuse for a priestess—ooh, she was infuriating! "But—I was told that Kikyo healed a lot of the villages in the land!"

"She healed the living," Saeko said shortly, her face unreadable. "But she also stole the souls of the dead. Only a week ago did we discover the truth and banish her from here."

Huh. "Looks like she's at it again," I sighed. "I seriously wondered if she was dead."

A skeptical look from the disgustingly gorgeous woman before me. "So you do not know her whereabouts?" she asked.

I shook my head. "I'd be perfectly happy if she just dropped off the face of the earth, personally. But she keeps showing up . . . I'm sorry if she caused your people any pain. I kind of hate her, myself."

"I see."

I glanced away under the heat of her emerald gaze and ran into the now-hazel eyes of Nanashi, who had an eyebrow arched with curiosity. "I wish a word alone with Lord Sesshoumaru, if you don't mind. Nanashi, escort the young lady to her temporary quarters. You may not be in them long, unless Lord Sesshoumaru chooses to remain. Should he do so, then dinner is within the half-hour."

I glanced up at the sky as Nanashi took me gently by the elbow and led me away. The sun was sinking below the treeline, making the sky above turn dark indigo to the east and golden-red to the west. I had a really bad feeling all of the sudden.

*

****

Sesshoumaru

I had the overwhelming urge to halt Kagome and the little whore Nanashi when he led her away—these lands were not friendly to humans, and I did not trust him at all. The moment I was out of Saeko's accursed presence, I was going to find the pair of them and get rid of him.

But I had a few problems of my own at the moment.

Saeko uncrossed her arms and studied me for a long moment. "When would you have visited for our treaty discussions?"

"I have had other pressing matters to attend. I would have come when it was convenient for me."

"And what if it had been inconvenient for _me_?"

"Then we would have had quite the dilemna, it seems."

Her face hardened. "You are too presumptuous for your own good."

"I did not _presume_ anything," I replied shortly.

"You presume that I would have simply allowed you to come and go as you wish," she corrected.

A shrug. "So be it."

A moment of silence before she spoke again. "How long have you been human?"

I felt my already dark mood darken further. "Days."

"And how long do you plan on staying as such?"

"Long enough to see Naraku dead," I snarled. "He has placed this curse on me until his death—and I will see him killed before the next moon."

She nodded. "Then I assume humans are truly as weak as we assumed them to be."

"Not quite so. Their greatest weakness is their emotions," I corrected. "Such overpowering things . . . I do not understand why we were able to evolve and leave them behind, and yet humans are ruled by them. A true nuisance, they are."

"I see. Tell me, Lord Sesshoumaru . . . how is it you travel with this reincarnation of Kikyo? I was under the impression that the human girl who bore the distinction of traveling with Inuyasha was his woman, not yours."

I stiffened. How had she known that Kagome traveled with my brother? "She is not his woman, but neither is she mine. She was separated from her lot in a battle with Naraku. Right now, I am only trying to return to my lands. She joins me because it is safer to travel with me than it is to travel alone."

__

For your own safety, you are free to travel with me . . . 

Oh, for the love of all things holy! Of all the times to—

"Safety in numbers," she chuckled. "What a concept, especially for two humans. I saw the way you looked at Nanashi when he led her away," Saeko added. "Do you fear for her?"

The urge to scoff was overwhelming.

" . . . Or do you fear for her affections towards you?"

The urge to scoff was nonexistent now.

"Pardon me?"

A smile that could have melted a glacier—or perhaps frozen a blazing inferno. "Your own affections are not so hard to see, mighty Lord. Perhaps it is this human form you are trapped in; perhaps it is the fact that I am no fool."

She was going to kill me. It was that simple—she would strike me dead in a jealous fit, and as a pathetic human, there was nothing I could do to stop her—I _knew_ this was a bad idea. I had not wanted to approach the city in the first place, but I had obviously forgotten her own affection. Her reputation was dotted with acts of passion and desire, but there was a clear line of anger that kept many from crossing her. She was not merciful, and she was very unpredictable. In such a vulnerable state as this, I was a damned fool for forgetting it—and I would most likely pay for it.

"I did not imply that you were a fool."

"Tell me, Lord Sesshoumaru, how deep do your affections run for this girl?" she asked smoothly, no emotion betrayed in her porcelain face.

"I have no affections for her. She is a human."

"As are you."

"Yes, but I was cursed a human. She was born one."

"A fine point. But do not lie to me, Sesshoumaru," she warned carefully, and I saw a flicker of . . . something . . . anger? Annoyance? "If your affections did not lie elsewhere, then you would have let little stand in the way of our . . . ah, negotiations."

I folded my arms. "Or perhaps my affections never lay with you."

"Still forthcoming as ever."

"You bade me not lie to you."

"Indeed I did. What will you do if Naraku kills her?"

I sighed with exasperation. "Again, this implication that she holds any more ground in my mind than a mosquito."

"I was not referring to her place in your mind."

"In my stomach, then. She makes me sick to it, especially when she's trying to be understanding."

"Then you would not mind if Nanashi were to bed down with her this night?"

"I would not wish Nanashi bed down with anyone. Gods above only know where _that's_ been," I replied with a sniff of disdain. "But should he choose to tarnish himself with mere human trash, then I bid him a fond farewell."

She laughed then. "Is it his company that is fond, or simply the farewell?"

I glanced away, not smiling but amused nonetheless. She gestured for me to walk with her, and we set down a path that was lined with candles and white flowering trees. Saeko certainly did not hide the wealth and power that came with her title, while I myself did not flaunt it.

"Tell me of this Naraku," she insisted, going from an interrogator and often times an adversary to girlish and talkative in a disturbing shift. I grew uneasy immediately—or more uneasy than I had been before, at least.

"From what I hear, he is a half-demon who was human until he summoned demons from all around to consume him," I told her. "He seeks now the final shard of the Shikkon Jewel, and has proved as of late to be very ruthless in getting it."

She nodded. "I see now why he pursues you," she said thoughtfully. I stiffened and began to change the subject, but Saeko reached out and touched my left arm gently, her fingers resting directly above the shard embedded there. "There is little you have ever been able to hide from me, Sesshoumaru," she told me with a smile.

And again the unease grew.

"I have little need of hiding things under some circumstances," I replied stiffly.

"So you are the bearer of the final fragment," she chuckled. "What a twist of fate, eh? I seem to remember you mentioning at the summit three years ago that you would have little to do with the Jewel, save destroy it if it came by your hand."

"Times change."

"So do people, apparently." Her hand did not leave my arm. "You remember what we discussed the last time I saw you." A statement rather than a question.

This was not going well at all. "I do." Why in the name of all the gods did she have to start this _now_? Was it because my situation was greatly compromised and I was very low on options? Selfish, intuitive, conniving bitch!

"Have you given it any consideration?"

"I have not." A lie. I had known the answer before she presented the question years ago, even before my thoughts had been polluted by a human . . . 

I saw frustration darken her face for only an instant before her calm mask slipped back into place. This unreadable manner was infuriating. "I have requested many times though letters that you take it into account."

"My schedule as of late has been rather unforgiving."

"How unfortunate. It seems then that you have only this night to think about it, doesn't it?" she asked in an odd voice. "I have given you ample time to supply me with an answer."

"This is a very inconvenient time," I began angrily. "I am rather occupied with trying to keep myself alive as a weak, miserable human—I need no other pressing matters in my mind!"

"_Your_ life," she informed me tartly, "is not what you should be concerned with now. In this place, none enter if I do not wish it. Naraku nor his spies will pass through my walls, nor will I let any harm befall you while you reside here—but you do so under the condition that you take into serious account what I placed before you those few short years ago. I do not offer such items lightly, and to see my offer cast aside so haphazardly is a deep offense to me. The fact that you do not even dwell on it bothers me greatly. Your worries in the outside world are a million miles away, Sesshoumaru. You have tonight to think it over," she said coldly.

I sucked on my teeth. "I see. I hope you find some more persuasive way to get me to combine our lands and rule with you, because this method of begging you have devised is not working. What happens should I say no?"

She shrugged. "I will see you on your way tomorrow, with directions to wherever you wish to go. I will leave you be until Naraku is defeated, but then I recommend that you watch your borders closely and your back even closer. I am not being unreasonable; such a rejection would certainly be ample cause to have you executed at dawn. But I will allow you to finish your mission before I seek to avenge my dignity."

"And as for your poor persuasion?"

"I have better methods planned, should the preliminary courting fail," Saeko said with a smile that made me queasy. "And a bargaining chip that I suspect will not fail me. But enough of these negative vibes between us. I believe Kagome and Nanashi will be headed to the dining hall now for dinner. Shall we be off?"

I nodded, now more uncertain than ever and suspicious and even a little afraid of this bargaining chip she spoke of. For my own safety, I doubted I would sleep heavily this night.

*

****

Kagome

Nanashi was such a perfect gentleman that I couldn't help but be suspicious of him—he was so damned polite as he showed me around, never actually touching me but definitely letting me know that a slight lapse in self-control could fix that real quick. Along our aimless tour of the castle, he made sure to show me my room and Sesshoumaru's room, which were next door to each other and had an adjoining bath and closet Then we made our way to the dining hall, which was actually outdoors underneath trees with tiny cherry blossoms on them. Light from the torches in the castle windows along with candles on the table itself gave it an unearthly sort of feeling, like it was on another planet or in a realm where everything was beautiful.

As we made our way there, I found that Nanashi was going against his no-touch thing—ever so casually, he had slipped an arm around my waist, and I realized with a guilty start that I didn't mind hardly at all. "So tell me, human, where is this place called Tokyo?" he asked.

I shrugged, my shoulder bumping into his at the movement. "It's . . . well it's actually pretty far from here. I'm the only Tokyo native around these parts." Not entirely a lie.

"Is your city beautiful?" he continued.

I nodded. "Very beautiful, in it's own way. All our homes are made of rocks and metal, though. But sometimes you'll find something there that is downright beautiful."

His eyes, now deep violet again, were fixed on me as we approached the table, which was adorned with foods that I now knew were delicacies. I couldn't name most of them, but I knew they were pretty hard to get ahold of. Sesshoumaru and Saeko were already seated, and I nearly jumped out of my skin at the look of pure murder he gave Nanashi. I disentangled myself from him quickly and took my seat across from Sesshoumaru. Nanashi took a seat right beside me.

"So tell me how you came to know Naraku," Saeko said as we began to eat.

I munched. "Well he kind of hates me because I look so much like Kikyo, plus he's always hated Inuyasha . . . the fact that we're all trying to complete the jewel doesn't help, either."

"Rumor has it that you were taken from your group by him recently," she pressed politely.

I uncrossed my legs nervously—what a wonderful subject she'd fallen upon. Great lady. "Yeah," I said shortly, hoping that a one-word answer would get the point across.

"And yet he didn't kill you. If he hated you so much, why let you live?" she wondered.

"Probably because I look like Kikyo."

"So the priestess is the reason he hates you, yet cannot kill you?"

"Sure. I didn't really ask him," I lied. "The man has issues, we'll leave it at that."

"I understood as much from Lord Sesshoumaru," she agreed. "I wish you luck on your quest to complete the Jewel and destroy him. He is not a foe I wish to cross in battle."

"Good idea."

"Do you have any plan on how to defeat him?" Saeko asked.

"Not really," I lied again. I did actually have a plan, but see if I told her.

"Have some wine," she insisted, gesturing to my cup.

"Oh, I don't know—I'm really not—" Was I about to say I wasn't legal? Jeez! 500 years in the past and I was worried about the cops busting me? Stupid, stupid, stupid. "—All right," I finally said, although it sounded more like "I'm not all right," as in I was crazy or something, rather than an argument followed by a submission.

I felt awkward even as I ate and listened to Saeko talk to Sesshoumaru and Nanashi, here in this place that I didn't belong. And by not belonging, I felt so damned out of place because they had all been trained in the politics of the situation, and I . . . well, I had not. So I decided to keep quiet—or, as Hojo used to say, "pipe down, Chachi." The evening itself, as it crawled by, was stressful, boring, and made me more than a little lonely. Oh, sure, I could have talked to Nanashi if I'd wanted to, but Saeko seemed intent on keeping both him and Sesshoumaru involved in conversation. So I sat quietly and nibbled on my food, no longer hungry, and listened to the discussion about land and boundaries and negotiations, all of which seemed to annoy Sesshoumaru, and then I heard Saeko mention a 'bargaining chip,' which made him fall silent. Whether it was with annoyance, pensiveness, or all-around speechlessness, I didn't know, but I've learned that a silent Sesshoumaru is not a happy one, and . . . well, we know what happens when the Center of the Universe isn't happy.

This was going to be a long night.

(Note from Kagome: In 20-20 hindsight, I had no idea how right I was.)

*

****

Sesshoumaru

Dinner was delightfully similar to having my limbs sawed off slowly, with a dull blade, and then tended with salt, fire, and other instruments of torture. Though he paid little direct attention to her, I watched carefully as Nanashi leaned in to Kagome ever so slightly, occasionally moving just a little closer to her. Saeko kept drawing me into some stupid conversation each time I tried to excuse myself and drag Kagome away—probably out of the castle and as far as I could get from this place. But alas, I was cursed to suffer just a little more, and begin to burn with anger at the smooth, almost innocent way Nanashi charmed her without saying a word. As soon as I had claws again, I was going to rip that son of a bitch limb from limb. The blush that crept across Kagome's cheeks made me even more furious. He was _dead_.

"Sesshoumaru, if you would mind walking with me," Saeko said, rising from her chair. Out of courtesy, I rose as well.

"I would mind greatly," I told her shortly. 

She arched a fine eyebrow. "Oh, I see. I apologize; I have torn you away from your companion completely without a thought. Silly me . . . if you wish to return to her quarters with her for then night, then go on."

I folded my arms. "I wish to do nothing of the sort. I would like a word with her, however."

"Be quick, then; Nanashi will escort her to her room when you are finished."

Without a second thought, I stormed over to Kagome and dragged her out of earshot. "Stay the hell away from him."

Her eyes widened. "What?!"

"You heard me," I growled. "Stay away from him."

She blinked in surprise. "But—okay, if he's supposed to watch out for me, how am I supposed to do that?"

"Don't _touch_ him. If you give him even the slightest idea that it's all right for him to approach you, then I don't know if I can—"

"Are you _jealous?_" Kagome exclaimed.

"I am not!" I snarled. "I know better than you the ways of these lands, and—"

"I am not easy!" she cut in. "I'm not going to jump into bed with him just because he's _nice_, okay? Thanks a lot, but I've held out around horny guys for this long, and I don't think that one more is going to change my mind."

"I hope you're right," I told her shortly. "Because he will try everything he can think of to change your mind. I have been around him before, and he is not to be trusted at all."

She sighed. "All right. I get it. I won't touch him. I'm tired anyways; I plan on going to sleep when I get into my room anyways—_alone_," she added meaningfully. But despite her defensive backlash, a small quirk was twitching at the corner of her mouth, as though she were biting back a smile. 

There was _nothing_ funny about this.

"Be sure that you do," I warned her, "because I have problems of my own to fend off tonight. I cannot keep a constant eye on you the entire time."

"Fine; good night," she told me, turning away to return to her 'host.' "I'd give you a good-night kiss, but somehow I don't think that would make things any better." She was being sarcastic.

I felt the emerald-green eyes of Saeko on us both, watching carefully and probably listening, too. I knew without turning around that Nanashi was watching as well, both gauging my every move. I acted without thinking. "You're right," I said with the slightest smirk, "It probably wouldn't." I reached out and caught her before she was out of reach, pulling her back to me and bringing my lips to hers.

She was frozen only a moment before she turned to me completely, hands on my shoulders carefully and her mouth opening slightly. I felt her eyelashes brush my cheek as her eyes closed, and I pulled her closer, shocked at my own actions but more shocked that she didn't slap me immediately, and drowning suddenly at this very . . . very human reaction to her mouth and taste and her body against mine . . . 

I pulled back as suddenly as I had moved to claim her, at a loss for words. I kept my face carefully guarded, even as I looked down at her. The crimson across her cheeks was darker now than it had been when Nanashi made his moves one her, and I felt an obscure flash of pride at the thought. 

It seemed that my face was not guarded carefully enough, however, because as she had been blushing prettily, she saw the pride and closed off immediately. "You—you're suck an _asshole_," she snapped in a low voice. "I would appreciate it if you didn't use me as your petty revenge! Good _night_." And with that, she stormed off, grabbing Nanashi by the arm and disappearing into the darkness with him, no doubt headed for her room. 

I cursed violently. That was not supposed to happen—although whether I meant kissing her so suddenly or making her so angry, I didn't know. Saeko was at my side suddenly, her face thoughtful.

"That didn't go very well, did it?" she asked casually. I said nothing in return. "It seems, Lord Sesshoumaru, that this is as good a time as any to begin negotiations."

I stiffened. "I was under the impression that the decision was mine to make, not yours to persuade."

A slow, radiant smile. "Both, my Lord. You are free to choose as you will, but not before I have had my say in it."

What happened next was . . . unexpected, to say the least. Though we stood still, the world around us began to . . . speed up, I suppose, is the only word for it. We had done this before, stopped time around us and accelerated the rest of the world for whatever reason, but I had never experienced it as a human. It was (as many other things seemed to be when human) nauseating, to say the least. I became lightheaded almost immediately, a hand going to my forehead in a pathetic attempt to keep it from spinning off. In an almost separate reality, cherry blossoms rained around us, candles melted down ever so slightly, and I had the urge to throw up twice. But unfortunately, the latter was in _my_ reality, so I had to control myself. I suspected in my own mind that along with the swaying of the world around me, I had eaten too little—although if I had nothing in my stomach, why would I want to discard what little I had?

Humans are truly illogical creatures. 

The world finally ceased its incessant swaying, back and forth, up and down, side to side, here and there, this way and . . . 

Even just _thinking _ about motion proved to be nauseating.

I shook off the dizziness (and motion-sickness) and faced Saeko. "How far have you chosen to move?" I asked emotionlessly.

She shrugged. "A mere thirty minutes. Long enough for Nanashi to lead Kagome through the castle and return her to her room. I believe, in fact, that they have just entered her quarters. Would you like to drop in on them?"

"I would rather respect her privacy—"

This time, the world around us fell away, the colors fading and then becoming more bold in the colors of . . . a room? Nosy woman. In reality, we were not really there; our conscious minds had come to dwell there, but not our physical bodies. Which meant I was no longer feeling ill. Saeko stood at my shoulder, warmth radiating from her essence as she looked at the empty room. No . . . not empty. Kagome and Nanashi were standing before the door talking, their bodies appearing before me as though the air around them opened to reveal them. I could hear nothing they said, though.

Her face was open and smiling, hiding nothing from him, but I noticed with mild triumph that she was considerably far from him. The space between them was not intimate. Each time he became closer to her, she would point off behind her or turn to look at something, always managing to even them out again. At least she paid some attention to what I said, even if I suspected she was angry with me. Then the sound came, a little behind their words at first, but catching up slowly.

"I assure you, I'm not offended," Nanashi was telling her with an almost predatory smile. And yet she still looked up at him with the utmost trust—could she not see how he gauged her every move to see how it could be used to his advantage?

She smiled. "Well I'm sorry about it anyways—his timing is awful. He's just trying to stir up the water., is all."

"I'm sure you're right," he chuckled. "Your beauty and spirit had nothing to do with it, certainly." The teasing was obvious in his voice.

Kagome turned bright red with the flattery, and I felt my face darken. How could she be so easily charmed by such cheap words? _Anyone _could fling a well-timed compliment here and there—was she really so quick to accept someone as vile as Nanashi? He had seduced countless, killed countless more on a whim; of all demons I had encountered, he came in as one of the most evil, bested only by Naraku and—

And myself.

I felt my anger dissipate quickly, replaced by a heavy feeling that I had never felt before. Who was I to choose who she could flirt with and who she could not? Who did I think I was, acting as though I could protect her—and from what? From the few more evil than myself? Even Nanashi, whose deeds sickened me when I thought of him daring to speak to her as though he were her equal, was nothing compared to me. In my own mind, I was neck-and-neck with Naraku, who had hunted this girl with the intent of killing her, torturing her, taking her mind and body as though they were his. Even with all his horrible actions, I was not far behind him. Perhaps the only good thing I had even done was revive Rin from the dead, heal her body and soul and raise her myself. Jaken, though he often baby-sat, had little to do with how she grew up. I had always tried my damnedest to raise her myself, allowing little to no help from anyone else. She had done well this far, but under the supervision of one so . . . so _evil_, so cruel as I, how could I ensure that she grew up to be as good a person as—

As Kagome?

Defeat. That was the heaviness I felt. Not the disappointment of losing the Tetsusaiga, not the anger of being defeated in battle—I had been truly defeated by myself.

I turned away from the general flirtation before me. "I wish to see no more," I said flatly.

Saeko glanced at me. "Are you sure?" she asked. I glanced over my shoulder at the pair, in time to see Kagome balk in alarm as Nanashi kissed her gently before exiting.

"I am certain," I told her. I watched her face grow confused as she looked at the door, then she sighed and rubbed her eyes as though she were at a loss.

Saeko's green eyes fixed on me. "Perhaps we should jump ahead some more."

I began to counter her, but the world sped by without ever really moving again, and when I focused again (this time without feeling sick), Kagome had crawled into bed long ago and was sound asleep. Her sleep was not easy, however—her face shone in the faint light, damp with tears and pulled tight in . . . fear? A nightmare?

I realized then what Saeko planned to do. There was a reason she had earned her other nickname—the Lady of Dreams. Not because she was the one everyone dreamed about, but because she had in her power the ability to see what a person dreamed, demon or otherwise.

"Take me from this place immediately," I told Saeko sharply. "I have no desire to see this."

I didn't know where we were at first—all I saw was darkness. Swirling blackness, that seemed blacker in some areas than others. The swirls seemed to be almost solid, and it was difficult to breathe. Miasma? That was the only word in my mind.

"Why did Naraku allow Kagome to live?" wondered Saeko. "Why is she so hesitant to speak of it to even Inuyasha? She has said nothing of her time with Naraku to anyone. It is a dangerous thing she does," the Lady sighed, "keeping poison like this locked away in her. She does not feel the effects now, nor does anyone see them, but it will eat at her until she ceases to contain it within herself. She will become a shell if she does not speak of these horrors to anyone. They will destroy her, you know."

"I have seen it happen before," I told her with a sigh. "She will not allow it to go that far."

"And yet she speaks it to no living soul," Saeko murmured. "I for one am burning with curiosity—aren't you? She dreams of these horrors each night. Let us see what haunts her dreams."

I turned on my heel. "I will not stand for an invasion such as this. You are of noble blood—have you no respect for others? I will not dishonor myself by tolerating this rape of anyone's mind," I told her, storming away into the miasma.

Blackness enveloped me, and even though I walked a straight line, I found myself walking right back at Saeko and the picture that now grew around us. It was useless. I could only try to pay no heed to the events around me. 

But what I saw drew me in, despite my resolve. It was the type of fascination that consumes a child, usually the kind that appeared when one watched the slow destruction of perhaps a village or the slaughter of an animal—it drew you in, no matter how much your mind told you to turn away. The fascination with the truly terrible.

I saw Kagome first, curled in around herself as though she wished herself dead, her dark clothes black with blood. But as this was a dream, the black clothes faded and were replaced by pure white, and now the blood was more obvious than ever. It seemed symbolic, really—the staining of an innocent. Before her stood Naraku, rid of the baboon he hid behind, wearing only loose-fitting pants. He held Kagome in his arms.

He _what??_ How _dare _he--

I heard them speak, though neither moved their mouths. "Pain is life, Kagome."

"Then I don't want to live."

"Neither did Kikyo. She wanted to be dead rather than live her life without Inuyasha. She died before she could taint the Jewel with her hatred."

"No, she didn't hate him . . . he broke her heart . . ."

"She hates him now."

"I don't care."

They were . . . conversing? In a normal fashion? Then why the blood, why her pain and broken spirit? Why did he hold her?

Now only her shirt was white; her pants were red and her hair pulled back loosely. She wore the clothes of a priestess. "I'm not Kikyo!" she whispered violently.

"You _are_ Kikyo," Naraku told her. "You are more Kikyo than she herself ever was."

"I'm Kagome, dammit. I only housed her soul for a little while . . ." she sounded like she didn't believe her own words.

"You can give up her soul, and you can live your life as you would live it, not as she would," Naraku corrected, "but you are still her shadow. You exist only because she existed. You will never be known as Kagome, hero of the Shikkon Jewel, you will be remembered as the reincarnation of the great priestess Kikyo."

"I won't!" she protested weakly, but it sounded like the battle she fought was with herself, and she was losing.

The scene changed again, and I suspected that what had transpired was only a dream, not a memory. What rose around us next _wasn't _a dream. This was very vivid, each detail specific, each rock and stone set forever in this memory. Kagome hung in midair, head lowered in defeat, _real_ blood flowing and not the memory of blood. Her shirt had been discarded, and she wore an old drape of Naraku's to cover herself and that ridiculous lace thing she wore beneath her clothes. Naraku had a hand around her throat, not cutting off her air or piercing her skin, but making it known that she was in his power. Her life was his to give and take.

"Return to Inuyasha if you wish," he told her in his low, amused voice. "Certainly there are those who you wish to return to more than he."

"Leave me alone," she begged, sounding utterly broken.

"Is that all you can do? Beg me?" he demanded with a chuckle. "I so clearly remember you stating that you would never beg me for anything."

"I don't care!" Kagome sounded near tears. "I just don't care anymore . . ."

"Should I kill you?" he wondered aloud. "Or would you like me to let you live?"

"I don't care," she repeated helplessly.

He frowned. "Well that makes things more difficult. I take no pleasure in taking the life from one who doesn't enjoy it."

Her chin touched her chest as she began to pass out. Naraku snapped his fingers suddenly, and Kagome's entire body became rigid, her face pointed to the heavens. He pushed aside the silk that covered her stomach and caressed the skin with his hands. "Unmarred," he murmured, fingers gentle and doing no harm. "Such a pure soul . . . you know, I suspect that's why you are hunted by all," he mused. "A light such as yours draws dark souls such as mine like a moth to flame. Both your mind and body have been untouched until our time together . . ."

I watched him with that morbid fascination, unable to do anything—this was no dream, it was a vision of things past and unchanging. I could do nothing but seethe in silence. As his hand brushed her stomach, her face seized up as though in agony at his touch, and she was crying silently, tears streaking her face and mingling with flecks of blood. The caress ceased suddenly, but his hand did not leave her skin. "I will return you to Inuyasha," he informed her finally, "with my stamp of approval. Let him know that what was once clean and beautiful is now tainted and scarred."

And with that, the hand that lay flat across her stomach and encompassed much of it began to burn into her, her flesh melting beneath his fingers as a wail was ripped from her throat. I made a move as though to help—how, I didn't know, but Saeko caught me.

"You can do nothing," she told me. "She is not living this; she is remembering it. You cannot alter what has already gone."

I fell still, but my whole body was tense and trembling with leashed rage. How _dare_ Naraku—

The world faded again, and when it reappeared, we were in another unchangeable memory, spectators in a bad play, readers of a horrid novel. She still hung from the ceiling like a doll, suspended by an unseen force, but now Naraku stood before her in the clothes from her nightmare, the pants and no shirt.

"Tell me," he snarled, her face captive of his hands. His fingers pressed into her skin so hard that it turned white under the pressure, then red as his nails drew blood. "Tell me where they are!"

__

I won't, you can't have them, I will NEVER let you take them!

"You will give them to me, or you will beg for death," he growled, inches from her face, glaring into her eyes furiously.

__

I'll never beg you for anything! You'll have to kill me before you get them!

"I can find them," he hissed, eyes burning crimson with rage. "I can rip your mind open like a book and _take_ them from you. Have you ever had your deepest, most secret thoughts pulled from your mind? It's very painful, almost as painful as having your heart removed, or your insides devoured. I can show you, if you'd like. I _will_ show you if you do not tell me where you've hidden the shards!"

__

Then . . . then go for it, came the almost fearful reply._ See what good it does you . . ._

"I can make it hurt," he warned her, voice dangerously low. "I can truly make it feel as though your soul is being removed from your body—you remember how much it hurt when Kikyo's soul was taken. I can make that feel like a lover's touch in comparison."

Her dark eyes betrayed nothing but fear._ You wouldn't—_

"I would," Naraku told her. "But I can do much worse. It is one level of humiliation to experience agony as your mind is torn open and left naked before me. It is another level of humiliation entirely to have that kind of violation, that kind of rape, and _enjoy_ it."

A flicker of confusion in the smoky depths of her eyes. She didn't understand what he meant.

He would not dare—

__

Spectator. I was only a _spectator_. Do _nothing. _This could not be changed, he could not be stopped. It had already happened, and there was nothing I could to stop it. She—she had never told me—never even _alluded_ to something like this—

Kagome's eyes were fixed on him as he did what anyone who wishes to rape the mind and soul in such a fashion would do: he brought his lips down to hers, capturing her mouth as his fingers pressed into her temples. Her eyes grew wide with horror, then slid closed as a small noise escaped her mouth and her exhausted body was dropped from it's invisible string. She promptly fell into his arms, holding on to him for support and, as his mouth worked across hers, pressing herself to him as though she were hypnotized, or drugged. His lips left hers, travelling down her jaw to her neck, hovering over the artery and teasing it with his tongue, making her gasp for breath. His fingers moved against her temples ever so slightly, massaging them as though they itched to move lower, but the real pleasure that Kagome was feeling came from triggers in her mind that Naraku was manipulating, even as he harvested her mind and soul mercilessly. He nipped lightly at the skin, drawing blood, and her head fell back to give him further access as a groan came from her throat. I was shaking where I stood, keeping very still and trying not to lose control entirely in my slow, burning fury. This was no quick, hot grudge against Naraku for his evils—what I felt was a gradual ember grown into a raging and deadly blaze that would not burn out until he was dead—possibly not even then.

As I struggled to keep myself in check, Kagome nearly collapsed with the shock of the nerves he was tripping in her brain. It was a common thing for those skilled in the manipulation of the mind, and relatively easy—all that needed to be done was have a very strong telepath enter one's mind and _tell_ the brain that this was happening, or that was happening, even if it wasn't. Kagome's exhaustion only heightened her brain's ready response as he sifted through her mind like the pages of a book. Naraku knelt down with her carefully, never pulling away from her and still ransacking her mental barriers, which I'm sure were strong for one with potential powers like Kagome. One hand left her temples to ease her onto her back gently, roaming her body freely on the way down and stopping to caress her in a few choice places on the way back up before returning to her head and searching for the shards she had hidden. His mouth remained on her neck, his tongue tracing the artery teasingly before his lips descended again, eliciting from her sounds of such shattering pleasure that he should never have been so privileged to hear.

And then suddenly his hands left her temples, a sign that he'd found what he was looking for. He lowered himself onto he, mouth finding hers again as her knees hugged his hips and invited him to—

Her breath had become quicker, more frenzied, as though she were approaching a pinnacle that almost frightened her . . . and then, with one last lingering kiss, Naraku pulled back and released the hold he had on her mind, sitting back with a smirk that was both winded and triumphant. For a few moments, Kagome lay with her eyes closed, trembling away the feeling of Naraku on her, and then . . . her eyes opened slowly, at first cloudy with passion, then clearing slowly and revealing pure horror. Humiliation followed it, shame, helplessness.

"What—" her voice sounded forced. She had not used it yet, save for the sounds he had drawn from her moments ago. "What did you do?" It was almost a sob.

Without a word, Naraku reached out and took both of her shoes, shaking them over his open palm and smiling as three jewel shards came tumbling out. With that, he moved next to her pants, searching the waist until he produced another as she scrambled to get away from his hands. He sighed and snapped his fingers, and as though there were chains around her wrist, she rose to a standing position as if she were being pulled by her arms. Now she hung with her hands over her head. Naraku pulled the bottom of her shirt up to her collarbone, exposing the lace garment that I never truly understood, and reached into it, seeking the jewel shards hidden against her breasts. She tried to move away from his hands again, but there was no escaping his search for what he desired. Kagome's eyes closed miserably as he removed the last shard from there, and pulled another from the handle of her bow and two from arrows. She hung her head, unable to look him in the eye as the tears that had formed long ago finally spilled over.

"I told you I could make it terrible," he told her, sweeping his ebony hair from his bare shoulders. "I could make it terrible by making it so delightfully wonderful . . ."

And then the scene faded into blackness. The miasma that hung disappeared, as did the forms of Kagome and Naraku. It was empty, save for myself and Saeko. From the darkness came Kagome's room, and she was curled up in her bed sleeping peacefully.

"Another dream," Saeko told me. "But not unchangeable."

I sat on the edge of her bed, exhausted from what was not reality. "How is this a bargaining chip?" I demanded, my voice both tight and, as already clarified, exhausted.

"You will see, Lord Sesshoumaru."

And then, not of my own accord, I dropped into a dead sleep full of dreams.

*

****

Kagome

I fell from nightmare to nightmare, one dream to the next, and all seemed more vivid and more terrible than before. I awoke between each dream with tears drying on my face. After a particularly vivid nightmare of remembering Naraku taking my jewel shards, I fell into a floating blackness that was warm and comfortable.

I wandered the black landscape for only a few moments before I saw her. She was as beautiful as ever, dressed in pure white that accented her green eyes. "What—what are you doing here?" I demanded. "I thought—am I dreaming?"

"Yes, you are," Lady Saeko told me gently. "But this dream holds no nightmares of yours, I promise you."

I hesitated before looking down at myself. I was wearing my old school uniform, green and white, even with the red tie on it. "What is this?" I asked carefully.

"A demonstration, if you will. You said to Nanashi earlier that Sesshoumaru tries only to disturb the water when it comes to you."

"Yeah, and?"

"And I wish to show you otherwise. I am always a hopeless romantic," she said with a sigh and a weak smile. "Follow me."

I did so. "Where are we going?" I asked.

"You'll see," was all she would say about it. "I will be shorter with you than I am accustomed to; you seem to be more open than some others I have dealt with. You need not see as much as I could possibly show you."

When the world opened up around me, going from blackness to an actual definable place, I became _really_ confused. "What is this?" I demanded, repeating my phrase from moments ago. Had I been awake, I'm sure I would have had some problems, but as I was only dreaming this . . . it didn't matter. I wasn't exactly sure why I had put the Northern Lady into my dreams, unless I was a closet lesbian, but since I was only dreaming, I didn't dwell on it.

"The mind of Lord Sesshoumaru, in all it's splendor and glory," Saeko told me with a smile. "Pick a door. These are the doors to his dreams—not his _hopes_ and dreams, mind you, but his dreams and his nightmares."

Before me was a room . . . an unending room, full of staircases that led to doors, staircases upside down, right-side up, sideways . . . it was like an M.C. Escher piece. Most of the stairways led to doors, but others led to walls, and still others simply stopped in midair. It was . . . disorienting, to say the least. "What in the . . ."

"This," she declared, "is the room where he hides his dreams—his fears—generally, his emotions. It is what we call a soul room, for those of us who acknowledge them. They were more commonly practiced in the land of the Pharaohs, usually for wayward spirits when two souls shared a body, much like you and Kikyo, but with its differences, and have been altered through their ancient magic, but for demons, this is where everything goes. To put it in terms you understand, it's like a junk drawer." I nodded to show that I understood what she meant. "Sesshoumaru's soul room is more vulnerable now that he is a human—anyone who enters his mind, be it on accident or on purpose, has access to it. Pick a door," she added, gesturing around. "You'll see what I mean. I personally don't know how one man has so many dreams and nightmares in one night; he must think on several planes so that each of them can have one."

"So—what now?" I asked uncertainly.

"Go through any door. It doesn't matter—it's all his hidden dreams, nightmares . . . I would steer clear of emotions, though. They are so repressed in him that they are consuming when dealt with."

"How do I know what to avoid?"

"You'll feel it," she informed me. "Believe me."

I said nothing to her as I wandered up a flight of stairs to one door, up the never-ending stairs, and opened it gently. With a sweep of wind, I was blown inside and into another world.

I saw before me two men—a younger Sesshoumaru and another man, older than him, but with the same white hair and golden eyes as both Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha. They knelt on the ground, the older one bleeding in many places. Sesshoumaru had several severe wounds, a few of which I couldn't see, but he wasn't as bad off as the other man . . . his father? Was that who that was? He was dying. It was obvious that he was dying.

"Don't move," Sesshoumaru commanded, touching the arrow in his father's chest hesitantly. The man flinched.

"Leave it, boy," he growled. "They win, this time."

"Exactly," his son snapped, "_this_ time. Next time you will crush them—"

"Next time, _you_ will crush them," he corrected tiredly. "Protect what I have protected for so long, boy. They will not have my land . . . and they will not have my son. Never give Inuyasha to them, Sesshoumaru. His heart is pure, like Keiko's was. Watch out for him, by the gods, don't let anything happen to him . . ."

"Be silent, Father," Sesshoumaru almost growled, his hand closing around the arrow. "Let me—"

His father's hand stopped him as he coughed up blood and seemed on the verge of fading entirely. "Keep the boy safe—he's just a boy, a child—watch out for him. Swear your life on it."

But Sesshoumaru said nothing to him. And the old man said nothing in return. A wet breath left him, and he seemed to . . . go out. As though his battery had died. Sesshoumaru lowered his head, and though I saw no tears, I didn't need to. I _felt _the tears he couldn't cry. His father was gone . . . truly gone, and the last thing he'd said was a plea to protect his brother, the reason his father had been killed. He had not been the son his father thought about on his deathbed. You didn't need to see tears to see that he was, for the time being, shattered entirely. He closed his father's eyes and removed his hand from the arrow, but stayed still for a very long time.

The vision before me faded, and in the fading picture, a door appeared. I didn't even have to leave to go on. I stepped right though, and found myself in Sesshoumaru's fortress. He was younger than before as he talked to his father, his mouth set in a grim line as a woman with thick black hair tamed only by a ribbon and deep violet eyes tended to a small child with white hair and liquid amber eyes as he slashed at bushes with his claws in an attack that I recognized instantly.

__

Inuyasha. 

"So you bedded the help?" asked Sesshoumaru coldly.

"She's not the help, brat. And if you speak much louder, Saeko will hear you all the way in the North and jump all over this," his father snapped.

"So you bedded the help," Sesshoumaru continued, ignoring his father, "and had a pup with her? Have you lost your mind?"

"I've _found_ my mind, boy," the man corrected. 

"I take it you've forgotten my mother entirely."

"I have not. I simply dislike her with a passion."

"Then you don't mind if the sentiment is returned."

"It actually makes my day easier."

"Good," his son replied sharply. "My sole purpose in life is accomplished."

At that precise moment, the small child made a dive at Sesshoumaru, slashing his claws with a cry of "Iron reaper _soul stealer!_" and proceeded to slice through Sesshoumaru's armor, which clattered to the ground. He didn't wear the giant animal hide yet. 

Sesshoumaru reached down and picked up the boy by the scruff of the neck, looking at him as though he were deciding how much he was worth. His nose wrinkled. "He smells atrocious. Honestly, don't you take some kind of pride in you children being pleasing to the nose?"

"Not your problem, boy," his father told him shortly.

Inuyasha was snarling at the moment, an odd sound for such a cute little thing, swinging his little claws and hitting nothing. "I don't smell—you do! You smell like you haven't taken a bath _ever_!"

"Oh do I," he replied thinly. "And does your pitiful nose smell anything beyond that?"

"'snot pitiful!" said Inuyasha proudly. "My nose is better than anyone's! An' so are my ears!"

"I see," his brother said in a voice that clearly stated he _didn't_ see and had no desire to.

"Who are you, anyways?" demanded tiny Inuyasha sourly.

"I," Sesshoumaru told him, "am your brother, and so if you have any desire to _use_ that pitiful nose of yours, I would learn a measure of respect, if I were you."

Inuyasha sniffed haughtily. "Mom says I don't have to, because I'm special."

"Really," replied Sesshoumaru with disinterest. "My mother says you're special, as well." His half-brother was too young to get the insult, but I snickered. Guess they used that one way back when, too. 

Inuyasha stuck out his tongue when he could think of nothing else. Still holding him by the scruff of his neck, Sesshoumaru brought the boy so that they were nose-to-nose, glaring into the wide golden eyes with his own. "Let it be known that I do not like children," he told his tiny half-brother. "Except for dinner." And with that note of fear stricken into his brother, he tossed him down as any wolf would its cub and turned back to his father. "I believe my business here is finished," he said tightly, ignoring the man's smirk at the interaction between his sons. I suspected he was trying to disguise his pride.

"Then off with you. But don't let word out about the boy, Sesshoumaru," his father told him. "There are plenty of people who would jump all over this."

His eldest son turned away. "If you wish him safety in this time, then you should not have had him. But I will say nothing of this to another soul, be it living or dead."

And then _that _scene ended as well, like a projector that ran out of film. I wiped the smile off of my face, in case the next thing I saw was not a happy one. I opened the new door and stepped through.

The picture that blossomed before me _really _wiped the smile off of my face. Sesshoumaru was standing before Naraku now, who was wearing his baboon thing. I couldn't stop the shudder that passed through me.

"You didn't kill him, I notice," Naraku commented.

"There were complications. I feel no desire to feed you excuses."

"So he lives. And the human girl?"

"Alive as well. I grant you a favor by disposing of my brother," Sesshoumaru began, "and now I ask a favor of you as well. Leave the human out of this."

"The reincarnation of Kikyo?"

"I suppose. I can give you nothing else to go on, except that I request it."

"Could you tell me why the sudden interest in her?"

"I could not if I knew. I do not consider it an unreasonable request. I doubt that one so powerful as yourself should have any problems with it."

And _that_ ended as well. He had actually asked Naraku to allow me to live? When was this??

__

I informed you just days ago that Inuyasha's wench was off-limits. I hope, for your sake, that you simply forgot.

That long ago? Damn. Maybe . . . maybe he wasn't such a jerk, after all. I just wished I knew the reasons behind the random act of kindness.

The next door appeared in front of me, and I passed through—and felt my jaw drop. It was a room, filled with semi-transparent people, all standing there before me. I saw . . . I saw Sesshoumaru, Saeko, Inuyasha, myself, Naraku, his father . . . another hundred people I couldn't name. What _was _this? Obviously not a dream.

I wandered through the frozen people, looking at each of them carefully, scoping out each tiny detail. I looked at myself for a long time—I wasn't _that _pretty. The girl before me was too perfect, and her boobs were too big. But beyond that, we were pretty much identical. When I reached Inuyasha, I leaned in to study him—here, in this image, he seemed too . . ._ human_. Maybe this was Sesshoumaru's perception of us all—but then why was I so pretty? And—hey, why in the hell was I a C-cup in his mind?! Did he just think I was cute because he thought my boobs were big?!

On accident—purely on accident, I swear—I brushed up against the image of Inuyasha . . . and was overcome with emotion. Hatred, disgust, shame . . . it all flooded me. Sesshoumaru was ashamed that his father would ever sire a child like Inuyasha, who was so weak and emotional. And it wasn't just like that on the surface—that was a soul-deep thing. As in all the way down to his core, he hated him so much. Why? . . . No. He hadn't tried to save his father. He hadn't been there when the man needed him. And—jealously? Sesshoumaru was _jealous_ of Inuyasha? 

The concept flooded me, like the other emotions. Yes . . . on one level or another, Sesshoumaru loved his father more than anything else in the world, and he asked nothing of him but to be loved in return—somewhere in the deep caverns of emotional constipation, anyways. And he wasn't even granted that. He knew, somewhere, that his father loved him, but he was well aware of the fact that the man loved his half-breed son more than anything. I pulled back quickly to keep from getting sucked in.

If I touched them . . . maybe that was it . . . 

I went to Naraku next, hesitant to even touch his _image_, but sucking it up and doing it anyways. Hatred was the only thing I could really tell was dominant. Disgust. But above all . . . hatred. And _that_ was a soul-deep emotion, too. I delved a little deeper, and saw images from their fight that day in the woods, as I pressed myself back and did my impression of a tree. Another image from the day he turned human, of Naraku towering over him, ready to deal the final blow, and there was nothing he could do about it. The next image I found was . . . erm, fairly new, I could sense, and it blew them all away. Images of Naraku and me, from my nightmares and from the actual time I spent there, at his mercy. My eyes flew wide with horror as I saw . . . I saw myself with Naraku, in his arms, taut with sensations that he told my brain I was experiencing as he _raped _ my mind . . . and he hated Naraku for it. How did he know? I had never—I wouldn't ever tell him about that, I would never tell _anyone—_

But he knew. And rather than hate me, think I was a—erm, tramp—for it, he looked at Naraku with the utmost hatred and the desire to spill his blood.

I pulled back from that well of emotions, shaken. I suddenly lost the desire to see what he thought of_ me_. I had never planned on sharing those experiences with anyone—_especially_ not Sesshoumaru—but he knew. How, why, for how long, I didn't know, but . . . he did. I sank to the floor by the hologram of Naraku's feet, putting my cool hands to my cheeks and sighing. I—how was I supposed to face him? After he knew that, about—about how weak I was, how easy it was for Naraku getting me to do—_that_, to react like that—how could I ever really look at him? And what did he think of me? I mean, it was all well and fine for him to hate Naraku for it, but how did that reflect on me?

I swallowed my self-pity and stood to face the phony Naraku, glaring for only a moment before moving on to the image of myself. The answers were here—right in front of me. I could see everything I wanted to know about where I stood with Sesshoumaru—what bothered him about me, what he liked best about me, how he felt in general. I could reach out and touch the image, and it would all be answered. It was so easy . . .

My hand froze in mid-air, inches from the hologram. Did I want to see? Did I have the _right_ to? Just because I _could _didn't mean that I _should_. My own privacy had been invaded before; I had no urge to inflict the same invasion on anyone else. I watched my hand shake slightly with indecision.

Did it matter what I should and shouldn't do? I could find out once and for all . . .

But it wasn't my place to force the information, steal it from him . . .

What now?

*

I emerged before Saeko, an exhaustion to my step. "I've seen enough," I told her. "I just want to go back to sleep."

She studied me. "What did you see?"

"A lot." And that closed the matter.

"You have done well, for a human," she remarked. "I expected you to wander for hours through every part of his mind."

I shook my head. "It's not my business. I think I learned too much that _he_ should have told me. I have no business here."

She nodded. "A mature decision, given your young age. Did you see something you didn't wish to see?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

"Very well." 

The walls and staircases around us dissolved into blackness, and I felt the soft cushion of my bed appear beneath me. I was sitting in my bed, the darkness of the room surrounding me. A slow pin-light appeared at the foot of my bed, illuminating a still figure. Sesshoumaru? What was he doing there?

"What in the—"

"This is where I leave you," she told me, fading into the blackness as well. The pin-light disappeared from him, and he lifted his head slowly as he seemed to wake up. I watched him warily, until his fierce eyes fixed upon me finally. They revealed nothing, as always, but he seemed a little heavier—that was the aura he had, anyways.

"Kagome." He spoke my name as though it were a foreign word. "You're here."

"Um . . . yes, I am. This _is_ my room, after all," I replied. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I—it's none of your business."

"If you're looking for a late-night roll in the hay," I said sourly, "you're outta luck. Sorry."

His eyes unfocused for a moment, as though something just occurred to him, and then he stood up and approached me. "You didn't tell me," he growled. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" I asked cautiously. "That you're outta luck? Umm—"

"Don't insult my intelligence by playing games!" he interrupted angrily. "Naraku! Why didn't you tell me what all he did to you?"

I felt the color leave my face. "You—"

"Why?" he snarled.

"It was none of your business!" I snapped suddenly. "Would you have cared either way?"

"I would have _killed_ him—"

"Oh, coulda woulda shoulda," I scoffed. "What's done is done. I don't dwell on it."

"You do," he corrected hotly. "You keep it bottled up inside of you like a damn fool!"

"Like you don't do the same thing! You keep everything you've ever had the potential to feel bottled up in the same way!" I threw back.

"_I _do it for my own safety," he said in a low growl. "_You_ do it because you don't want to face reality."

I stilled. "Excuse me?"

"You can't bear to think about it because you blame yourself," he replied coldly. "You cannot think about it because you can only see the things you _should_ have done, when in reality the scenarios you come up with are completely inane. There was _nothing_ you could have done when he searched your mind for your jewel shards. His control over your mind was as total as he could make it—but not total enough, it seems. It took him quite a while to break into your mind entirely and take the information he wanted. Why? Because _you_ were strong enough to keep him out. I doubt greatly that he stayed in your mind any longer than needed, lest you see into his own mind. _Your _mental barriers were strong enough to keep him at bay, make him_ work_ for what he wanted, even as he manipulated your mind and body in ways that you could not control. I _do_ know something of invading the mind," he added, "and so I do not speak blindly."

I had begun to shake not long ago. "You—you have no right to know any of that!" I managed, my words thick and forced. "It was _my _place to tell you, not yours to go find out for yourself. I don't even _want_ to know how you found out."

"Good, because I don't want to tell you," he countered. "Know only that had you told me, I would not have turned you away. Your actions do not disgust me. The fact that he presumes to even _think_ of touching you disgusts me. You—" he hesitated, as though debating whether he should go on. "You are too pure a person to be touched by anyone—not Naraku, not Nanashi, and not myself. The evils of this world have no place being around you."

I think I surprised him when I jumped on him and put my arms around his neck. "I don't care what you think," I said into his shoulder. "I wouldn't have told you anyways." His arms went around me awkwardly, and without disengaging myself from his hold, I leaned back with a sneaky smile. "Although fair is fair—you kiss me without permission, I kiss you," I added, leaning back in and planting a firm kiss on his lips.

He reacted almost immediately, pulling me tighter against him and sweeping his tongue into my mouth. I almost melted.

We pulled apart after a moment, but not by much. "I took your advice," I said breathlessly. "About Nanashi. Did my best to keep him off of me."

"I noticed," he murmured against my lips, not content to stay apart for very long.

"You wha—mmph," I added, now unable to ask how he had noticed when his lips crushed against mine again. Guess he didn't mind this whole kissing-thing too much, huh?

My hands rose to tangle in his hair, pushing the silky strands back and resting one hand on the nape of his neck, my other carefully watching out for his hurt shoulder. His own hands smoothed down my back, then rose up under the fabric of my shirt—my _white_ shirt, the school uniform, for some reason. His skin on mine was like an aphrodisiac, and I was the one to open my mouth against his this time. He didn't protest.

With a possessive growl deep in his throat, and his arms still encircling me, he pushed us both down on my bed, with me on bottom, of course. This required a little bit of repositioning, so I settled on my back with my legs apart and he lay between them, not pressing his advantage by lowering his full weight on me but instead keeping himself propped above me.

After a moment, his mouth left mine and travelled down my jaw, leaving a scalding trail everywhere it touched, pausing briefly to nibble my earlobe before dropping to the area below my jaw. His lips assaulted the area, tongue caressing the skin above my vein and then his mouth descending to deliver searing kisses that left red marks. His mouth dropped further down, to my shoulder, and he nipped ever so gently before replacing his teeth with his lips. All the while, his fingers tapered down my sides and back up again, making me shiver. 

Then . . . a new sensation where his mouth was, making me gasp. It _hurt_. My eyes snapped open as his fangs sank into my shoulder, right at the conjunction with my neck. Initially it hurt like hell, but the pain faded slowly as his mouth apologized to the offended skin.

"What was that for?" I managed when the pain subsided.

"Staking a claim, if you will," he murmured into my shoulder, his breath eliciting a shiver that almost made up for the pain.

"I'll show you claim," I muttered, slipping the silk from his shoulders and pulling a quick switch, shifting my weight so that we turned over and _he_ was beneath _me._ He blinked once in surprise, golden orbs wide, and I flashed him a smile. "What, you're the only one who gets to have fun?" I murmured as my hands ran down his chest. Now _he_ was the one who shivered. My lips trailed down his throat, brushing his collarbone as I delved lower and teased a single nipple with my tongue, smiling at the shuddering breath that left his lungs.

"Kagome—" he began uncertainly, then made a decision and pulled me back up to him, kissing me again and ceasing any power that I had over him. My legs were still on either side of him, and I could definitely feel that he—

__

Thunk. I hit the bed hard, then sat bolt-right up where I lay. What in the . . . 

Already the sensations of his body against mine were fading, as any sensation from a dream would do upon waking. Dammit! I had known the _entire time_ that I was dreaming . . . what a time to wake up!

I sighed and lay back down, very much alone now.

*

****

Sesshoumaru

The world seemed to sway a bit when I kissed her again . . . gods above, if she wasn't careful, I was going to lose control embarrassingly soon. This human body boasted nothing on self-control, I was discovering.

She pulled her mouth away from mine, her normally dark eyes light and playful. "I don't think so," she warned teasingly. My eyes grew wide as her mouth descended lower this time, not even slowing at my chest. Her hands ran down even quicker, racing down my stomach to grasp my—

The groan that escaped me could not be helped. My . . . er, _problem_ grew even bigger as her tongue dipped into my navel, caressing my skin as though it were her hand, seducing my weak human body and making my muscles tighten in an attempt to control myself. She stayed there only a moment, though, before pushing aside the silk that adorned me and drawing her searing mouth lower. Gods above, she was going to—

"Kagome!" I groaned again, teetering humiliatingly close to my limit. Gods, she was intoxicating—

Her eyes lifted from their goal to fix on mine, and what I saw was like a bucket of ice. 

Her eyes were green.

I made a move to scramble back from her, but the strength of a demon outweighs that of a man. Her hands trapped me where I was, and a slow smile crept across her stolen features. "Is there a problem?" she asked innocently, one hand wandering up my thigh to play between my legs.

I struggled to focus; unfortunately, all the blood had left my brain, and I could not pull a rational thought out to save my life. "You—but you—" How long? When had she replaced Kagome in this place—had there ever _been_ a replacement? I saw no mark on her shoulder, which was good. How long? . . . 

"Mmm," she replied, no longer interested as her lips began dropping feather-light kisses down my stomach. "Me what?"

"What are you _doing?_" I finally bit out, an angry edge in my voice.

"I thought it was obvious . . . oh, wait, that," she said, distracted from her task only when speaking. _Just keep talking!_ "I just couldn't resist," she chuckled, further discarding my clothes. "You were here, so delightfully aroused, and the girl? She was in a dream, in all technicalities, so I simply allowed her to wake up. And here I am."

"Get out!"

"I don't think I will," Saeko replied, taking the skin on my hip into her mouth so fiercely that it left a mark that would take days to fade. My head tilted back and I swallowed the sound that bubbled up in my throat. "And to ensure that you don't actually _make_ me leave," she continued, "I believe I'll throw in my bargaining chip. Cast me aside now, and I assure you, Nanashi will kill the girl. Not before having a little fun with her," she continued, "but in the end, he will kill her. A pity . . . I was rather fond of her. She had brilliant ideas for disposing of Naraku, really." Her breath tickled me as she spoke.

I balled my hands into fists around the sheets. "This, in exchange for her life?" I repeated in a strained voice. "You never cease to amaze me."

"Do we have a deal?" she purred, lips moving dangerously close to a place I would rather them not go.

"You have truly gone mad," I growled. "I will never return to you after this night."

"I would expect nothing less. I will take what I can get, when I can get it," she replied, and then her mouth descended fully and I lost myself.

(AN: You may all hate me now.)

*

****

Kagome

I awoke to Sesshoumaru shaking me awake. "Get _up_," he snarled impatiently.

I cracked an eye. "Huh?" The sun was barely rising.

"I hope you slept well," he snapped, "because we're leaving. _Now._"

I rolled out of bed groggily. "Fine. I'm up. What about breakfast?"

"Kill a rabbit or some other small animal," he told me sharply. "I will stay here no longer."

I sighed and followed him out of the room, then crept silently out of the castle itself without being noticed. So much for the Sesshoumaru from my dream. God, what a great dream. And of course I didn't get to pick it up where I left off when I finally fell asleep again.

Once we were far away from the castle/fortress and on our way again, he stopped me without a word and kissed me gently. Nothing involving unbridled passion or anything; just a kiss that came out of nowhere. "I am sorry for ever bringing you to that place," he growled, cupping my face in his hands.

"Why?" I asked, frowning.

Sesshoumaru hesitated before shaking his head and walking on. "It is better if you never know."

I sighed again and rubbed my shoulder—"Ouch!"

He glanced over his shoulder at me. "What now?" Slightly irritated—must not have slept well.

I swallowed the sudden lump in my throat. "Nothing," I lied. "Scratched myself."

There was a mark on my shoulder, exactly where he'd bitten me in my dream.

*

AN: NO FLAMES. It was important to the plot, don't flay me alive! *Cowers* I love you all . . . if you **review** me, I'll never pull anything that wicked again!


	11. Put Up Yer Dukes

AN: *stares* *blinks* *gapes* Man, if I'm gonna go from 176 reviews to 230 in one day, I ought to start doing that more often! I'm KIDDING. True to my word, I have no intentions of pulling a stunt like that again. No more obscure hook-ups and cruelty to Sesshoumaru. You guys are the BEST! *Hugs Sesshie plushie from Chibi Tenshi* This is not to say that I haven't got a sleeve chock full of twists, but hey. I solemnly swear that neither Sesshoumaru or Kagome will get with anyone else, ever. (Although that DOES kill my interesting Kouga plotline . . . . I'm kidding . . .) But really. You guys oughta see who Inuyasha ends up with later on.

On with my praise. Readers like you guys ROCK! I got compliments, constructive criticism, the works! You are the best! And I didn't get any flames! Death threats? Yes. I wouldn't be surprised if someone takes out a contract on me once the story is done. In two days, you guys have surpassed the feedback on 'The Real Deal,' which I didn't think I would do again. But nooo, wonderful people like you went on ahead and pushed me past my milemarker, so I'm on new ground here. *Gulps* That's a lot of people . . . 

Enjoy this chapter! Might as well have two honkin' huge and eventful chapters back-to-back, huh? I think this is it for this story, with one more chapter and an epilogue that ties up *some* of my loose ends. Then, OMG, I jump pretty headlong into the sequel. Which is going to be *very* interesting, as I try to avoid sequels with a passion. Okay. Wish me luck. By the way, I want EVERYONE to forget how horridly I wrote Kaede earlier. I completely didn't even think about it. Just shoot me now. I tried this time. Very sorry. I even pissed _myself_ off.

*

****

Kagome

We walked in (amiable) silence for most of the day, which turned into a few days of not _total _silence, and while it was not exactly cuddle-worthy when it came to being a comfortable scenario, it could have been worse.

I could have been travelling with a PMS-infested badger, for example.

I didn't have the courage to ask about the mark on my neck, which, while it was healing, wasn't exactly fading. I hadn't thought in my dream that he'd bitten me so hard, but I guess he had. In my dream. _Was_ it just a dream? I hoped to all things holy that it was, because if not . . . I would have to die. Just crawl into a small hole and die very quickly. It's not that I would have _minded_ it being real, especially since Sesshoumaru had been (as) caring (as he could be, given who he is), but as for me . . . oh, that was another story. I personally had _no_ desire for physical contact of that extent for a very long time. I'd had my share, thank you very much, and it didn't really appeal to me with a big neon sign or anything. I could handle kissing, as I have demonstrated, but—even the _idea_ of anything more than that gave me the heeby-jeebies. I guess dreams are easier to on things like that than reality. If I had been awake and in that situation, I wouldn't have been able to do it. We're talking panic attacks, short tempers, possible violence, the works.

Besides . . . I HAD JUMPED HIM! Not quite literally, but . . . ergh, I didn't want to think about it. Thank _god_ it was a dream, because if it hadn't been, I would have _died_. It was that simple. I would have been too horrified with myself to live, and therefore died of humiliation.

But it _had_ been a dream . . . best not to dwell on what _could_ have been. Instead I chose to get over my horror of what-ifs and sulk over the fact that I didn't get to finish my dream. I sighed.

The lingering silence was broken by Sesshoumaru on the third day, as we began to enter forests that I recognized. We were in Kouga's territory, I realized with a perk. If we happened to run into him (actually . . . maybe we ought to avoid him, with Sesshoumaru being so protective lately), maybe he'd be willing to lend a hand with Naraku. Not like he didn't hate him enough. 

Anyways. Silence broken. Sorry about that. "What do you intend to do about Naraku?" asked Sesshoumaru after a little while.

I glanced at him, eyebrows coming up as I was snapped from my reverie. "Huh?"

"Naraku," he repeated boredly. "Tell me you at least have an idea of what to do when you see him again."

I felt the blood leave my face. "Why would I—oh. You mean do I have a plan."

A heavy sigh that spoke of great suffering. 

"All right, I get it, and _yes_ I have a plan," I told him.

"Do you feel like telling me, or do I have to wait?" he asked shortly.

"I really ought to make you wait, but it's not a huge thing. Okay, um, I kinda . . . when we were all at your fortress, after I was feeling a bit better I ransacked your library," I began a bit sheepishly. "And I found this book of spells from a few hundred years ago, from a monastery in Prague, that had a spell I liked. I'm not big with magic," I admitted, "but I think that if Kaede helped me with it, we could do it. Anyways, it's an—well, it's an exorcism," I said in a rush. At his raised eyebrow, I continued to tell him. "Naraku is a half-demon made up of hundreds of thousands of other demons—he was created when a dying man allowed demons to consume him. But they didn't consume _all_ of him, because he's still half human. So my plan is to use this spell to exorcise these demons. When you take them all away, he's just a human. It makes sense, because that's what an exorcism _is_—banishing demons from a human. He's only powerful because of the demons. Without them, he's _nothing._"

Sesshoumaru frowned. "All well and fine, theoretically, but a spell like that banishes demons from a _body_. Once they're out, they are still demons, and then you have to worry about them returning to Naraku."

"Oh, but that's why I'm brilliant. Once the demons are out in the real world and not fuelling Naraku, then they're fair game for Miroku's wind tunnel. Then Inuyasha and Sango can make quick work of Onegumo."

"Who?"

"The human who created Naraku," I explained. "And don't catch me on technicalities—like the insects, for example, I worked that out too."

"Insects?"

"Oh, don't you remember anything?" I asked with exasperation. "If I recall correctly, you were the one who set them on Miroku originally!"

"Ah. Those. Yes, I remember now."

"Yeah, back in the good old days," I scowled. "Anyways, we've been trying to figure out for a long time the best way to keep Miroku safe from the bugs, so wherever we confront Naraku, we're planting bug bombs in the area around us. Plus, I'm hosing Miroku down with some semi-enchanted Off."

He was staring at me now as though I'd finally gone off my rocker.

"Stuff from my world," I explained. "Bug repellent—for real this time, though. Not just the crap they sell in stores that makes you invisible to bugs, because once he opens the wind tunnel, it won't matter if they can _see _him. Now they'll be physically unable to approach him, period. I'm thinking that the radius is about twenty feet. We didn't have a specific plan until I found that spell," I added, "but we had little stuff like that worked out."

"I see," was all he said. "And have you memorized this spell?"

I pulled it out of my shoe. "No, but I'm getting there. Sorry, by the way, I tore the page out of your book."

He shrugged. "I didn't ever read it. I'm sure I won't miss it."

"Where are we going, anyways?" I asked him. "I still have to get to Kaede's village."

"I figured as much from what you and Inuyasha have said. That's where we're going."

I blinked. "It is?"

He nodded. "We're a day away from there, in case you haven't noticed."

"I had noticed, thanks a lot. Just didn't know where you planned on going."

"Would you have gone with me even if I hadn't gone to the village?"

I snorted. "No, I would have wandered off into the forest by myself, so that I could be attacked by a random demon—yes, a random demon, they do travel alone, and I SWEAR that when they do, they ALL decide to follow me. I mean _really_. I have the _shittiest _luck when it comes to that. It's like my shirt says 'Free Food' or something like that."

"I'll take that as a no."

"Go on and take it like that. I was being serious."

*

We approached Kaede's hut near noon the next day. The relief that welled up inside of me was unbelievable, especially when I saw Inuyasha come shooting out the door like he'd been shot from a cannon. I made a move to run at him, but Sesshoumaru grabbed my arm to halt me. "Cover your shoulder," he said shortly.

"What? Why?"

A long finger rested on the still-healing bite that I'd been as of yet unable to explain. "It will raise questions," he told me as I lost all the blood in my face. How did he—oh _no_—

"KAGOME!" 

I felt a smile split my face, the panic pushed aside as I got ready to be pounced. But before Inuyasha could pounce on me, he was passed by a smaller and temporarily quicker shape, which got to me first and knocked me over. "You're okay!" wailed Shippou.

"Goddamnit, Shippou, you piece of shit!" Inuyasha cursed roundly.

I gave Shippou a hug before standing up and jumping on Inuyasha, whose immediate irritation with Shippou for beating him turned to me for touching him. "Hey, get off!"

I just hugged him tighter. "Aww, I know you missed me!"

He sighed and returned the gesture quickly, just to get it over with, before peeling himself off of me. "Yeah, and I'd miss you more if you didn't reek of my brother!"

"Well you travel with him for that long, and see if you don't come out smelling like him," I replied smartly.

He wrinkled his nose. "Whatever. You still smell raunchy, I've been able to smell you coming all morning. Hey, I scared the hell out of your mom the other day."

"WHAT?!"

"Yeah, you told me about all the bug crap you needed from your house, so I kinda went the other day and got it from her—the spray stuff, the bug bombs, the works. It's set up in the woods already—the whole village is safe from them. This fight could happen _anywhere_ in this place, and it would work. Kaede also enchanted that metal thing that sprays so that the bugs can't go near Miroku. He won't put it on, though."

" . . . It's absolutely horrid, I'm not letting it touch me!" came the monk's voice.

"Funny," snapped Inuyasha, "that's exactly what Sango said about you last night!"

"Both of you grow up. Your immaturity is the most annoying thing I've ever been around," came a cold voice from inside the hut that I couldn't place. Why wasn't I able to put a face to it? . . . 

Inuyasha's face darkened when the woman spoke, and seemed barely able to keep himself from saying something harsh in reply. "Who—" I began as Sesshoumaru came up beside me to make himself tall and imposing and intimidating to his brother. "Oh my _god_," I finally said. "You—tell me you didn't." The voice finally hit home. "Ooooh, I'm going to sit you all the way to the Atlantic if you actually tell me that—"

"Is there a problem out here?" the woman asked, stepping out into the noonday sun and fixing her dark eyes on me. The sun made her white shirt shine with its own light, offsetting her black hair. I couldn't read the look on her face as we locked gazes, but suddenly I felt about two inches tall and shrank back into Sesshoumaru ever-so-slightly.

I shook my head in response to her question. "No, just a disagreement," I said in a voice that was very small. _What _was she _doing _here?!

Her look of disdain faded into another unreadable look as she looked over at Sesshoumaru. "Sesshoumaru," she said with a slight incline of her head. "It has been a long time."

"Kikyo," he replied in acknowledgement. That was all he would say to her. She turned on her heel and went back inside, saying nothing else.

I looked at Inuyasha, not even saying what was on my mind lest I screamed. He looked very unhappy. "She found me and Miroku about two days ago," he muttered. "Said she was willing to put the past where it belonged long enough to destroy Naraku."

"She's hiding something," Sesshoumaru told him flatly.

"Oh, how would you know?" Inuyasha demanded sourly. "You're not even a demon anymore—you can't still tell these things!"

"Intuition is an acquired talent, not a given of being a demon," he replied coldly. "And you had best watch yourself—I will only be human until Naraku is defeated, and then, if you still insist on being an ass, we will work this out like men."

Inuyasha's hand flexed on the hilt of Tetsusaiga. "Yeah, if you live that long—"

"Boys," I cut in. "Now isn't the time. Is it all right if I talk to Kaede? I mean, you two won't kill each other, right? I kind of need you to be alive when Naraku shows up," I told Inuyasha.

"You're worried about _me?_" he scoffed. "Fat chance! I don't see anything decent Sesshoumaru can do, so worry about him! Especially if he keeps popping off!"

I sighed and simply walked off.

*Thwack!*

A glance behind me revealed that Sesshoumaru had popped Inuyasha a good one, and his brother responded by smacking him upside the head as well. "What was that for?" the younger of two morons demanded.

"For being stupid." 

At which point I sighed again and walked inside, where Kaede was sitting with Sango, Miroku, and Shippou. Kirara was perched on Miroku's head, being cute as her tails swished across his face and he batted at them occasionally. Kikyo stood by the window, obviously the outsider (though whether it was by choice or Miroku and Sango's unanimous dislike of her, I didn't know. The latter, I hoped spitefully).

"It's started," I sighed. "We're here for five minutes, and it's already started. I may kill them both before Naraku gets here. He _is_ coming, right?"

Miroku nodded. "We have only Inuyasha's three shards from Kouga and Sango's from Kohaku, plus the one in Sesshoumaru's arm. Naraku wants to complete the jewel more than we do—he'll come to us."

"Good." Despite the fact that we _wanted_ it to work out like that, I couldn't stop the cold tendrils in my stomach at the prospect of seeing Naraku again. Ever. "Kaede," I began, "I guess they've told you the plan for nailing Naraku."

"Aye," she replied. "Inuyasha has spoken to me of this plan ye concocted."

I swallowed. "Okay. Um—I'm not very good with magic, and I—oh jeez, I can't do this spell alone. The only magic I know is the kind that just happens, and I won't be able to do it by myself. I need you out helping me with it. It's stronger when two people cast a spell, anyways."

But she was already shaking her head. "I am too old for a battle such as that. The magic in thee is stronger than my magic, Kagome," she told me. "If ye put your whole heart into this spell, Naraku will live no longer than ye wish him to."

I was shaking my head as well. "I _can't_. I—he'll kill me before I can get the whole spell out!"

"He will not," Kikyo cut in coldly. "Inuyasha and his brother will suffice to distract him from what you are doing."

"Sesshoumaru can't fight him!" I exclaimed. "He had better not be anywhere near that battle—he's never been human before, plus the fact that he's got a weak stomach. The only good he'd be is if we needed someone throwing up every ten seconds. Now if we could get something going like in 'Stand by Me,' where everyone started getting sick, _including_ Naraku, then it would be a different story. But I don't think that's going to be the case. He _can't fight_."

"Then he will be killed," Kikyo said angrily. "You will not force my sister to fight when she does not wish to do so."

I felt my face drain of all color. "But I have _no_ experience with spells at all!" Swallow your pride, say it, just suck it up and ask. "Kikyo—are you—"

"Inuyasha has asked me to make you invisible to Naraku," she informed me before the words could come out and demean me. "I will be unable to aid you. If you are even half the woman Inuyasha deludes himself into believing you are, then this spell should come as easily to you as breathing." I heard the bitter sarcasm in her voice. Great. I open my mouth to ask her for help, and she hates me for it. 

I just can't win.

*

I sat sulking outside Kaede's hut later on that night, watching the stars with the knowledge that I was actually safe, for the first time in awhile. The idea that it wasn't safe with Sesshoumaru wasn't a new one, especially given his homicidal tendencies towards Inuyasha, but really. 

That wasn't what was eating at me, though. Once again, the world had come to a dead halt because Kikyo was around. It was seriously like everyone _stopped_ when she was involved. And I was left in the dust. She always made sure that my opinion looked like that of a schoolgirl with no real experience, no common sense. It was obvious that she didn't care enough about me to hate me. As I believe I read in a book, if she'd hated me, at least it meant that she considered me a human. 

Inuyasha plopped down beside me. "Don't pout. You annoy the hell out of me when you do that."

"I thought I annoyed the hell out of you when I _wasn't_ pouting."

"You do, but you're more annoying when you're sulking."

"I ought to sit you all the way to London," I told him darkly.

"To where?"

"Never mind. Why is she here?" I demanded unhappily. "She _helped_ Naraku last time, if I remember correctly. She practically _gave _him that new body of his. This is her fault entirely—he couldn't have kept us on the run if he'd been trapped in that dying body and forced to use demon puppets."

"Why do you care?" he scoffed. "You just don't like her." 

"So what if I don't? At least I care enough to have an opinion—she doesn't give a flip one way or the other if I'm alive or dead. Except when she's trying to kill me, and under those circumstances, she'd prefer me dead!"

"Oh, and you're saying it's better if she always hated you and always tried to kill you?" he shot back. "You're a real piece of work, you know?"

I stood up and folded my arms. "Yeah, I missed you too," I told him, walking off to the woods.

There was a rush of air, and he landed on his feet nimbly in front of me. "Uh-uh. I'm not stupid enough to let you go storming off into the forest alone, at night, _again_," Inuyasha practically snarled. "I think all this time with my brother has given you a temper."

"Oh shut up," I muttered, turning away but not walking off. "At least he _pretended _to be civil."

A moment of silence.

"Are you in love with him?" he demanded suddenly.

Now a bucket of ice water. "What? No!"

His golden eyes narrowed. "Good. I wasn't looking forward to killing him while he was still a human, as it takes the challenge away, but I would have."

"Inuyasha!"

"I would have!" he snapped. "He's my brother—I know him better than you ever will! He's a murderer, he tried to steal the Tetsusaiga a _lot_, he destroys whole villages in a temper tantrum! The guy is _evil_, Kagome. All he'll do is hurt you in the end."

"This from the guy who tried to kill me the first time he met me," I scoffed.

He scowled. "I thought you were Kikyo. Who _wouldn't_ have wanted to kill you during a mix-up like that?"

A smile cracked my face, but I erased it. "That's beside the point. Look, it's none of your business, so I'm not going to argue this with you, okay?"

"Fine. I'll let it drop for now—but when this is over, you're telling me _everything_. I have a long list of questions you'd better answer."

"Like what?"

"Like what's really going on between you two, and _everything _you're not telling me. For example, what happened with Naraku that was bad enough to make Sesshoumaru up and tell me that he almost killed _you_ for not telling him, plus he wouldn't tell me because there was no one around who could beat me down so that I didn't go after him myself. I'm currently _dying _of curiosity, but I guess you trust my brother more than me, huh?" He sounded . . . he actually sounded _jealous_. Was I delusional?

"He—he knows?" I repeated, my voice rising.

"Yeah, he knows!"

"But—" but he only knew in my dream. This was not looking good . . . I had woken up! I'd actually gone from asleep to awake, and he had gone away! It was not _possible_ that I'd ever told him!

I was missing something _really _big. But what?

"I have a headache," I groaned.

"Then freaking go to sleep. I smell Naraku already—he's too close for comfort. We tried getting the shard out of Sesshoumaru's arm, but it won't budge. The arm itself likes him now that he's human—I don't see how we're gonna get it out without slicing him open, and he's not keen on the idea. We'll work on it tomorrow, before we face Naraku. How are you on that spell?"

"I have it memorized," I admitted, "and I guess all that matters is that I can say it, since the words bring out the power, but I have a bad feeling. There's got to be a hole in this plan somewhere . . . I can feel it. But I just can't place it. I feel like I'm missing something." Oh look, the story of my life.

"You're not missing anything," he snapped. "This is foolproof. Now that Kikyo's casting a spell that makes you invisible, it's even better. Having her on our side can only make things even harder to crack. Naraku'll never see it coming. He won't even know what hit him."

I sighed. "Whatever you say. I guess I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah," he said. "I'm going to be out here for awhile and stay on the lookout." And with that, he shot straight up and perched in the higher branches of a tree, thus ending the conversation.

A glimmer of white and silver caught my eye off to the other side of the hut, by the little stream in the village. Before heading inside, I jogged over to see what he was doing.

"Do you plan on getting any sleep before tomorrow, or would you like to sit out here and play 'bait' with all the demons out at night?" I asked Sesshoumaru.

He didn't answer the question. "You should listen to my brother."

I blinked. "Huh?"

"I am not a good person," he told me shortly, "to put it nicely. I have done nothing to deserve your kindness."

"For one thing, no one _earns_ kindness. I give it freely. For another thing, you _have_ earned it. I—I know we weren't there for very long, but when we were in the Northern Lands . . . I know I kind of got mad at you after dinner, but I know you were just trying to help with Nanashi and all. I feel like you looked out for me pretty well there. So please don't say you didn't earn it after that, okay?"

His eyes, which had remained fixed on the horizon, dropped to the ground. "I would rather you not use that as an example. I paid a heavy price for your safety that I would rather not think about."

I hesitated. "Um—okay. I can do that. You may not be a good person, but you're not evil. Just keep that in mind."

"And yet I feel nothing but," he replied sourly.

I stepped in front of him and caught his gaze. "You never did anything wrong, okay?" With what little courage I had, I kissed him very gently, and even though he responded at first, he pulled back nearly immediately.

"If you knew—" he began, then cut himself off bitterly. "You would regret doing that."

All right, so he insisted on being difficult. I could deal with that. "Fine. So tell me this—Inuyasha said earlier that you knew what happened with Naraku. How did you find out? Give me at least that."

He met my eyes for the first time. "Do you know nothing of the woman whose castle we stayed in? She is not called the Lady of Dreams for nothing. Her power to manipulate the dreams of one, combine the dreams of two, enter them as she pleases, whether alone or with another person, makes her a very dangerous woman indeed."

My eyebrows came together in confusion before a prospect that made me freeze opened up. "You—you _saw_ my _dreams_? What in the _hell_ did you do that for? Is that even what you did?"

"I knew because she wanted me to know," he told me shortly. "If you want my advice, then forget everything about that place. At least one of us should be able to." And he turned and walked away, a signal that he didn't want to talk about it.

My hand flew to the joint between my shoulder and neck as I entered Kaede's hut, where Miroku was poking at the fire as Sango, Shippou, Kaede, Kirara, and Kikyo slept soundly. I felt very faint. Did that mean—

He glanced up at me. "Are you okay?" he asked when he saw my face.

I shook my head faintly. "I—I don't think so. I think I'm going to pass out."

"If you insist, then try to wait for a few seconds," Miroku told me, getting to his feet and hurrying over to me. "Oh, sit down, for goodness sake."

I did so, with his help. "Have you ever heard of the Lady of the North?" I asked, putting my face in my hands to cool it.

"Yes, I have. Saeko, the Lady of Dreams, if I remember correctly. Why?"

"Sesshoumaru and I stayed there for the night a few days ago. I—I don't feel very good. I feel violated."

"Sleep," he insisted. "Just don't think about it right now, it will only keep you awake, and we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow."

I nodded, closing my eyes miserably. A long night, followed by a long day.

I wondered what Sesshoumaru didn't want to talk about? . . . 

And alongside all that, my bad feeling didn't go away.

*

The next day was uneventful, for the most part. I lolled around with my eyes closed, going over the spell as I lay in the sun and listened to Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru argue off and on, Sango beat off Miroku every few minutes, Shippou and Kirara horse around, and Kaede generally ignore her sister. Some of the things Kikyo had done in her worthless afterlife had so displeased her little sister to the point of not speaking to her. I knew it rankled both of them, but probably Kaede more than Kikyo. It _was _her older sister, after all. She was supposed to be Kaede's role model as a child, but instead she returned as . . . well, whatever she was now, which was generally disturbing and loathsome. 

Words flow easily through the mind, even if they're from a language that died over a thousand years ago, but I had no guarantees on how they would come out when I actually had to speak them. The spell I practiced was old and so difficult that it hadn't been performed since its origins five thousand years ago, when a priestess battled a demon from the depths of Hell itself, and cast the spell to destroy it finally. It worked, in theory, but as the spell was an exorcism, all it really did was separate the demon soul from the body. Once that happened, the soul split into millions on billions of demons that roamed the earth for another thousand years before most became strong enough to create bodies of their own. As the legend went, that was how demons came to this realm. But I couldn't say the spell out loud unless I had a demon to direct it on, otherwise it would seek out any demon within the area to fulfill the power given by the words. So I kept quiet, as it would have meant big trouble for Inuyasha and Shippou. I couldn't actually speak it until Naraku showed up, and so while all the words _sounded_ right in my head, it left a lot to be imagined when speaking. Russian is an easy language to learn in theory . . . once you get beyond all those damned consonants . . .

I also had to get the spell right the first time. I could only speak it from beginning to end once, and if I misspoke, I risked calling the souls of all demons in the area into Naraku's body . . . which once again kind of screwed over Inuyasha and Shippou.

I sighed and let the sun warm me, grateful that we had at least this calm before the storm. I had nothing to worry about that could be fixed, it was a beautiful day . . . things definitely could have been worse. Sure, the day was a bit still, no birds sang, but didn't I just mention the calm before the storm? I knew full well that Naraku would show up eventually—if Mother Nature felt it necessary to take a vacation before he got there, then power to her.

Maybe it was the sunlight.

I heard someone above me clear their throat, and I opened my eyes lazily. Kikyo stood over me, her bow drawn and her face shadowed. "He's here," she said tonelessly.

I blinked. "What?"

"I said, he's here."

"I heard you. He's not."

"Don't you feel it?" she asked me with a note of pity that I couldn't feel it. "He's _been_ here all along. Get the monk and have him apply that enchanted repellant—now. He may not get another chance."

I stood up, a frown on my face and an argument on my tongue, but the look on her face spoke of no bullshit. I swallowed . . . 

And then I _did_ feel it. Creeping, hovering cold, not from the warm sunlight but from the deepest recesses of my mind, hidden at a glance but still there. It hadn't been that nature packed up and left . . . it had been pushed out.

It wasn't the calm _before _the storm that had lulled me into a false sense of security. It was the calm _during_ the storm that had done so.

"Does he know that you—um know?" I asked her, going very pale.

She shook her head. "He is only watching. Keep calm, and he will not know that you sense him. I will speak to Inuyasha and his brother."

"Wouldn't he think it's odd that you're talking to me?" I said, the words coming out thoughtlessly.

Her eyes betrayed nothing—I sometimes wondered if she'd forgotten how to make facial expressions after being dead for so long. "Not if he suspects I'm going to say what I'm about to."

I waited.

"In a time like this, rivalry between us will do nothing but get us killed," she told me. "Possibly even those we protect, as well. If we can overcome our differences, then we will be undefeatable. Although in our case," my predecessor added with irony, "I suspect we must overcome our similarities rather than our differences. Until Naraku is dead, I do not care where Inuyasha's affections lie. I wish him ill, and you as well, but at _my_ hands alone will you suffer, not Naraku's." I blanched further at her bluntness. Guess beating around the bush wasn't going to get us anywhere, huh? "Though I suspect you have suffered much already at his hands, so perhaps I will take his torment into account and be kinder to you."

"Sounds . . . er, fair," I fumbled. "Pretenses aside for now, _I _don't care where Inuyasha's affections lie, whether Naraku is alive or dead. But if you try to punish him for something he didn't do, then you'll have to get through me first, and I'm not the pushover you almost killed back in the middle of Naraku's miasma. Inuyasha is my friend, and if you try to hurt him—I'll stop you. And don't think I can't."

Kikyo blinked, taken aback. "Perhaps you pose more of a threat than I originally expected," she admitted with a smile. "For now, while Naraku is our common enemy, I rather appreciate that. I do look forward to seeing how you plan on stopping me from extracting what is mine, however."

"And what is that?"

"Revenge," she replied simply. "If you wish to live long enough to finally face me as an equal, I recommend you gather your friends. I have already spoken with my sister—she has taken the fox-child to another village just now, and they will not return until the battle is over, for better or worse. For now, I will speak with Inuyasha."

I had the urge to let out a mutter of 'good luck' that was only partly sarcastic, but refrained. "Right. See you when this battle starts, huh?"

"Indeed." And she turned then to deal with Inuyasha.

I whistled at Miroku, who glanced up at me. The sight of him almost cracked me up, had the mood not been so serious—he was sitting against a tree, considerably apart from Sango, and judging from the handprints across his face and the lump on the side of his head, I could guess why. I gestured for him to get up and come over to me, which he did with stiff limbs. Looked like he and Sango had been at it again. Someday—not anytime soon—he would have to learn to keep his hands to himself.

If we lived.

"You called?" he asked with a very monk-like bow.

I nodded. "Come inside Kaede's hut with me."

A fine eyebrow raised. "Oh really. Any particular reason?"

I sighed. "I have something in there for you."

Another eyebrow came up. "_Really_. I suppose that would be . . ."

He didn't finish his sentence, because I dragged him inside and grabbed the can of Off! from the floor, shaking it violently. Touching the cold can made the reality of what was happening sink in—this was _now_. This was when we put into motion a plan that worked well on paper—but _everything _worked on paper. Not everything worked when put into motion.

His dark eyes widened when he saw what exactly I had in mind. "A little early for that, isn't it?" he asked with what was beginning to sound like phony cheer.

"No," I said grimly, "it's not. I actually hope it's in time. Close you eyes and hold your nose, this stuff is murder.

He did so, and I sprayed him down both front and back, making sure to get every exposed inch of him. He shivered once I was done. "I don't know why that's very popular where you come from," he chuckled dryly. "It's miserable."

"Well you can either smell like chemical or you can be eaten alive by mosquitoes," I replied.

His face paled. "Mosquitoes in your time actually—"

"I didn't mean that literally," I sighed. "I hope you're ready to use your wind tunnel for the last time."

He looked at his hand, fingering the rosary thoughtfully. "I don't think I'll miss it very much, although I'll be more careful now when I walk around in the woods alone. I suppose I'll be rather unarmed, won't I?"

"Better unarmed than . . . erm, whatever," I muttered when I couldn't think of anything clever. My wit was failing—courage under fire is all well and fine, but wit under fire? Yeah, right.

"How do you know he's here?" Miroku asked bluntly.

"Kikyo tipped me off—I can't believe I didn't feel him earlier," I admitted. "I was just feeling awfully lazy. He's watching us—everything. I hope this doesn't tip him off that we know he's here. Better to let him come when he wants and be ready than to tip him off and make him spring an attack right now," I said as we stepped out of the little hut. "I mean, the two of us randomly disappearing? Not very inconspicuous."

He dragged me back inside and studied me. "Hmm . . . I'll fix that." And with that, he dislodged my clothing a bit, skewing my pants a little bit, yanking on one side of my shirt so that it was rumpled, and batting at my hair quickly. I stared at him.

"What was that for?" 

He pulled me back outside and planted a very firm, very—erm, friendly—kiss right on my lips, taking my face in his hands to keep me from jerking back. My eyes snapped open wider in surprise as he continued to kiss me, then smacked him on the back of the head once he pulled away.

"Miroku! Okay for one, you are _such_ a pervert, for another, you are going to get me in TROUBLE!, and finally, _ick_! You taste like bug spray!" I exclaimed, wiping my mouth (which tasted miserably like Off!, if you can believe it).

"Oh yes, I forgot, you're taken," he sighed. "I suppose it won't be my children you have, then."

I scowled and hoped Sesshoumaru hadn't bothered to look over at us right then—not that he had a right to be jealous, as I technically wasn't really taken. "Wha'd you do that for, anyways?"

He shrugged and flashed me the smile that must have gotten at least _one_ girl to agree to give him a son. "You only live once. The way I see it—and as a monk, I _am_ enlightened—we run a fifty percent chance of losing today, and if we lose, then I'll have died knowing I never did that. Although now I fear Sango will be rather angry with me now, won't she?

I sighed. "She's not the only one!"

"My other excuse is that if you came out all ruffled, then who's to say we didn't go for one last rough-and-tumble before you left me for Sesshoumaru forever?" he added, wounded. "Naraku should be flattered that he got to see the last kiss you'll ever give me before you leave me for Inuyasha's brother and sworn enemy. I did so love our life together; I will miss you as you begin your life with another, but I suppose I'll be fine. After all, I am but a monk. I must survive the cruel hardships of life and continue on with a broken heart."

"Quit making fun of me," I muttered sheepishly.

The voice from behind us made me jump as we moved away from the hut. "Your heart isn't all that will be broken if you try that again," Sesshoumaru snapped tersely. "Lay another finger on her, and that will be the next thing I break."

Miroku raised his hands in surrender. "I simply couldn't help myself, in light of the fact that we may all die today."

"Keep your hands to yourself," he warned, "or you'll bring it on early."

He chuckled and turned to walk off. "My heartfelt apologies, Lord Sesshoumaru. I will not offend you as such again. My word as a monk is my bond."

A growl. "Hey, down boy," I urged quietly. "He's right. I take it you've already talked to Kikyo?"

"I have. The odds that we will survive this are very slim—slimmer as Naraku watches us. I dislike this greatly; an enemy who makes no move is a clever one indeed, and I suspect he knows our moves and studies them so that he sees more in then than we thought was there. If we do not play our cards right," he said flatly, "we will not live."

__

Why don't you kiss him?

Excuse me? I didn't think that-

__

Right now, in front of them all. You want to . . . you pretend that he can take you in his arms and you will melt, as you always have, but should you do so, you will only see me . . .

Holy shit.

My breath left my lungs in a big _whoosh_, and my stomach dropped to my feet. I raised my eyes to look at Sesshoumaru—

His eyes were blood red.

I stumbled back, a scream rising in my throat—

Gold again.

Stop it.

He's driving you crazy—

But Sesshoumaru's eyes had hardened, and he no longer looked at me. His eyes were fixed behind me, and his hand dropped to his other sword. A new chill raced up my spine . . . 

A hand on the base of my neck, right by the mark on my shoulder. _Please let that be Miroku._ "Did I interrupt anything?" came Naraku's low, rolling drawl. "Please continue; I was under the impression you were talking about me, and I do so love hearing about myself. I suppose that's a bit narcissistic, but really. Can you blame me?"

My gut reaction was to jerk my elbow up into his stomach, but I didn't. I couldn't move—I had frozen to the spot. Everything flooded my mind—_he's going to kill us all, this will never work because I'm too terrified to cast that damn spell, oh God Sesshoumaru knows what happened . . . how can I . . ._

I didn't have to keep thinking, because I heard the groan of a bow being pulled taut. About twenty feet away, Kikyo had drawn her bow and notched an arrow that hummed with the power of a priestess, her eyes hard but her aim bound to be flawless once she released. Inuyasha had drawn Tetsusaiga as well, Sango stood with her boomerang at the ready, and Miroku gripped his staff like a weapon.

"Let her go," Inuyasha snarled, taking a threatening step forward.

"I wouldn't move if I were you," Naraku warned, his hand tightening on my neck and pressing into the bruised wound on my neck. I flinched involuntarily. "And where did that come from?" he wondered aloud, moving my hair aside as he felt the source of my flinch. "What a nasty mark . . . it must have been painful," he remarked, his breath brushing my skin as he leaned in to inspect it. "Unless . . . my goodness, Lord Sesshoumaru, you certainly got carried away, didn't you?"

Sesshoumaru gripped the sword's hilt tighter. "I would not speak of things I know nothing about if I were you," he told the demon, his infallible calm exterior dropping into place. Naraku would see no other reaction from him until he was dead. "It makes your intelligence seem more laughable than it already is."

I didn't miss the glance Inuyasha stole at Kikyo before he exploded. "Sesshoumaru, you stupid son of a bitch! If you touched her—"

"Be silent," his brother snapped.

"If you touched her at _all_," he continued, ignoring him, "you're next! After I take Naraku out and finish the jewel, you're SO dead that it's not even funny!"

"I am not the issue right now."

"I'm making you the issue, you freaking moron!"

The voice in my mind cut through the terror instilled at Naraku's mere touch._ The minute I tell you to run_, came Kikyo's voice, _do exactly that._

I can't! I thought desperately. _I—he's right here! He'll kill me—or he'll take me again, you don't understand, he can't do that! I can't let him!_

He will do nothing of the sort. When I tell you to run, then RUN. Do it while he is still distracted.

I felt my heart stop at the thought of moving—it wasn't an appealing action, although just standing there in Naraku's grasp wasn't that appealing, either. I waited patiently for Kikyo to tell me to run . . . then the air around me shimmered, as though I was under water. I blinked, and Naraku's hand jerked away in surprise.

__

RUN!

And I did. I hauled ass, stumbling away from him as fast as I could. I smashed into Sesshoumaru on accident, and he balked suddenly, as though he hadn't seen me coming. What—his reflexes weren't _that _bad as a human—

He was looking right at me, but it was like he couldn't see me at all. I backed away. "Kikyo?"

"Shut up!" the priestess snapped, the only sign that she was stressed. _This spell will only last while I can concentrate, and while you live! If he gets an idea of where you are, he'll kill you!_

I nodded, but it was a pointless gesture as I scrambled to safety. _Now what? I'm pretty much away—I'm behind Inuyasha. He doesn't know I'm here._

The spell, she told me._ Your spell is the key to this entire setup; if you fail, then he wins. Cast it, and show him what happens when he attempts to destroy you as he did._

Okay . . . if you insist, I said, attempting to be dry. I was so scared that it didn't really work. I sat down cross-legged, as quietly as I could, and began to chant under my breath in a language that had been dead for centuries and prayed to all things sacred and holy that I did it right.

In the meantime, Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha had quit arguing when I literally vanished from sight. "What the hell—" began Sesshoumaru, the only sign that he was taken by surprise. His face revealed nothing.

Naraku seemed less concealing when it came to what was on his mind. "Very clever, Kikyo," he snapped, "for a cheap conjurer's trick. How long can you keep her hidden when you are trying to keep yourself alive?"

Her arrow never wavered. "I will keep her hidden until it is time to reveal her. No sooner." And with that, the arrow released from her hand and sailed at him with accuracy that scared even me. But this _is _Naraku we're talking about, so whole lot of good accuracy did. Within inches of his face, he caught the arrow between two fingers and snapped it in half carelessly.

"You'll have to do better than that," he told her smoothly.

Almost as one, both Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru made a dive for Naraku, Sesshoumaru's sword glittering in the sunlight and Tetsusaiga blazing with the fires of hell. Their blades cut clean through Naraku's body, but the solid form dissolved into a pillar of miasma that left both brothers coughing. He reappeared by Sango, not very close, but close enough that she didn't jump out of her skin and had the reflexes to hurl her boomerang at him.

He caught it easily in his hand before slinging it back at her, rather pointlessly, because she caught it as easily as he. But the moment her hand came in contact with the boomerang, she let out an exclamation of pain and dropped it. "What did you do to it?" she demanded.

"A little hot to the touch, isn't it?" he asked her smugly. "It will be of no use to you in this battle. I recommend you run for the hills, unless you wish to end up like your brother, hmm?"

My voice faltered as I approached yet another word that I could spell, but not pronounce. This was not going smoothly. With my luck, I'd end up turning us all into demons.

"This would go far easier if you'd just hand over the jewel shards," Naraku told the still-hacking Inuyasha boredly. "You're putting up even less of a fight this time than you did last time—I'm rather disappointed, really. I already have most of the shards—should I add another to my collection?"

My concentration broke for only a second as I saw Sesshoumaru hesitate, as though uncertain. Then, without warning, his arm began to glow—the arm with the shard in it.

"Sesshoumaru!" shouted Miroku reflexively, but it didn't help anything. In all honesty, I'm glad someone said something, since I couldn't. The glow grew brighter and more concentrated, until it was teeny tiny, but nearly blinding. And then, with an exclamation of pain and a blossom of blood, the shard _literally_ ripped out of his arm. Naraku held out his hand patiently, and the shard dropped into it as though it had always belonged there. I took a shuddering breath and continued speaking softly, although to be honest, I was about ready to quit and do something _useful_, rather than sit on my ass and do this.

__

Do not stop the spell, Kikyo snapped in my mind as she drew another arrow. _This is all just to keep him from noticing you._

Right, I muttered. _I'm working on it._

Inuyasha pushed himself to his feet. "Asshole! Get the damn shards the fair way," he snarled, readying himself for another run at the half-demon.

With an elegant sweep, Naraku drew a sword from his side that I hadn't seen before, and raised it in Inuyasha's direction as though saying 'come and get it.'

He came.

There was a clash of metal on metal, and at first it seemed ludicrous that Inuyasha could lose when his sword outsized Naraku's so much. But Naraku blocked and thrust immediately, then brought his sword crashing down on Tetsusaiga with a mighty explosion. The air itself seemed to react to the contact, because a wind picked up immediately and nearly knocked me over, along with everyone else.

With another mighty swing, Naraku's sword contacted Tetsusaiga again, and this time—well great shit—there was a delayed hum in the blow, and with a sort of resignation, the sword shrank back to its battered form, leaving Inuyasha more than a little stunned.

In his hesitation, Naraku pulled back with his fist and slammed the hell out of Inuyasha's stomach, doubling him over. "Petty fool," he snapped, "did you really think you could defeat me? I knew you would not use the wind scar, not when you risked destroying the friends you love so dearly!" Another blow, this time under Inuyasha's chin. "But it will be your downfall. I have only to take the remaining shards from you, and then I will be unstoppable!"

From the ground, Inuyasha released a string of vulgarities that made Naraku chuckle. But the distraction worked—his foot swung out and around, and Naraku slammed to the ground, flat on his back. He pounced immediately, pinning him to the ground and pressing his arm down onto his neck furiously. "I don't know how stupid you think I am," he snarled, "but I'm actually a little insulted. I guess I'll get over it when I KILL you, though!"

With a roar, Naraku flipped them both over so that Inuyasha was pinned this time, and from his anger came a sweeping, nearly solid wind that blew out and really _did_ knock people over. Sango went flying into Miroku, and Sesshoumaru hit his knees to keep from being picked up. He still clutched his bleeding arm—which was still attached, even without the shard in it. I closed my eyes and hunched over, desperate as I reached the end of my spell. The words were coming a little easier now, but not as clean as I'd wished. Only Kikyo remained standing.

"You think you've won just because of this?" Naraku hissed. "Simply because you can get the upper hand and still manage to live for even a few seconds? You don't stand a chance! Not even with Kagome invisible to the world, chanting her little exorcism like her life depends on it! Oh wait—it _does!_"

I looked up in alarm at him, and everyone turned dead white. How did he—oh, this was bad—

"You never stood a chance!" he continued furiously, his hand wrapping around Inuyasha's neck and cutting off the air supply. He fought against the restriction, but it did him no good. "You are _weak _and _foolish_, and you will die miserably for it! You were so eager to accept any help you could get in defeating me—you saw your plan as foolproof, didn't you? I will so relish proving you wrong," he hissed, right up in Inuyasha's face now.

"Fuck you!" was all the response he could get.

Then the air around me shimmered again, the way it had originally. Only this time, it was more like I was coming _out _of the water, rather than being in it. I glanced down—I could see myself. I—oh no—"Inuyasha!"

"Kagome!" Sesshoumaru now. He was using his sword to push himself to his feet, still choking on miasma. His human lungs were more susceptible than Inuyasha's demon lungs.

Inuyasha's eyes widened in dawning horror. "What—"

The arrow Kikyo had trained on Naraku wavered slightly. "My spell has faded," she told him in a steady voice.

"Well then un-fade it!" Miroku hollered.

She went from being trembling and slightly nervous to hard as stone in one breath. I had the horrible, sinking suspicion that she'd been that study the entire time and had hidden her confidence. "No," she said plainly. The arrow that had been aimed at Naraku now lowered to Inuyasha, and she wasn't kidding.

God. Now I remembered why I _hated_ that bitch.

A quick blow to Inuyasha's head made his body go limp as he blacked out, and Naraku dissolved in a wave of miasma that made its way to me. I did not stop whispering the spell, even then.

He solidified before me, his hands forming first and grabbing me, hauling me to my feet as he regained his body. Everyone else, who had made moves to do one thing or another, froze in mid-step. Really, truly froze, as though someone hit 'pause.' "You've failed miserably," Naraku informed me, slightly winded and slightly more triumphant. My breath hitched in my throat, and words died on my tongue. _No! Keep going!_ I thought desperately. My lips moved again, so close to finishing the spell that I could practically taste it. No sound left my mouth, but I was still empowering the words. "You try so hard to destroy me, come so close to achieving your goal, and yet you never had the slightest chance in the first place. A pity, really, but true all the same."

I glared at him.

"I thought I would be the one to tell you this," he added, "as I know you would never find out otherwise. Lord Sesshoumaru, though he tries so hard to be noble, would most likely take this secret to the grave if he could."

I glanced at Sesshoumaru over his shoulder. His body was frozen, but the color left his face in a rush as though he were realizing something terrible. I did not like this at all.

"How to mention it . . . hmm, you remember your recent stay with the Lady of the Northern Lands, am I right? One blink for yes, please, I don't think you can really answer without ruining your spell. Anyways, Lady Saeko. Lovely woman, really . . . you noticed, of course, her attentions to Sesshoumaru, am I right? Yes, well, he . . . well—my goodness, I was planning on taking such great pleasure in this, but there's really no delightful way to tell you that on the night of your stay, he was so easily seduced by her that it was rather embarrassing."

He . . . what? . . . 

"I'm sure there were circumstances; there always are," he continued dismissively, "but I found it rather appalling that he went right from your bed to hers. Really, even if he _is_ a human, he ought to have some semblance of the honor he carried as a demon lord. I'm not quite sure how she orchestrated the dream sequences to work out so perfectly, but it was really rather brilliant. She is a bright woman, and she certainly knows how to get what she wants . . . several times, in fact, from what I hear. Your human must have amazing stamina, I will give him that, because according to several bugs I have in her castle, she was quite the worse for wear and very proud of it. I hear she won't walk right for weeks . . ."

I felt my stomach fall to the ground—or was that my heart? I couldn't tell. My eyes closed—the shock in Sesshoumaru's face had been the confirmation I didn't want. How . . . no. I couldn't even think about it. I felt heavier all of the sudden, and I hadn't even really processed the information yet.

How _could _he?

As though reading my mind, Naraku took my chin and made my eyes meet his. "How, indeed. I myself truly expected something to come of the two of you; gods know you put your entire heart behind it. Such betrayal astounds even me . . . I myself couldn't have orchestrated one better. Really, you two put Inuyasha and Kikyo to shame. Will you be all right?" he asked, a sort of fake caring in his voice. 

I swallowed, unable to find my voice. I could only look at Sesshoumaru, feeling my heart break a little more every second. How . . . 

This wasn't happening.

And then Naraku, still holding my chin, twisted sharply. There was a flash of white behind my eyes, and then I felt blackness envelope me—not unconscious blackness. _Real_ blackness. 

*

AN: I told you I wouldn't make any more obscure couples. I didn't say I wouldn't kill anyone. Stick THAT in your crack-pipe and smoke it!

Btw, sorry about the painful action sequence. It shouldn't even be called action—I make the creator of action roll over in his or her respective grave. Hahaha, how's that for a cliffie? . . . 


	12. And Dukettes

AN: *Is in the middle of a throwdown with her yami* Yes, I killed my main character! I'm the author—I can DO that! Jeez, it's not like every Sesshoumaru obsessee doesn't already know what I'm going to do! For crying out loud . . . 

I have a very temperamental Yami. He's rather fond of Kagome . . . but he'd BETTER be more fond of me, because I swear I'll write a Yami/Malik story if he's not! And he'll be on bottom!

The action sequences are pretty bad for awhile, but I like how I wrapped up the Naraku angle. It felt like it flowed better than anything else action-oriented.

Btw, this was an emotionally draining chapter. I cried like the whole time—so sad for me. It feels like my babies are growing up . . . God, you should have seen me with 'The Real Deal.' When Bulma had Trunks, I wailed like I'd had my own kid. Maybe the fact that it's1:45 in the morning has something to do with it. Who knows. All that's left is the epilogue, and that shouldn't take too long. Sooo tired. Soooo sad. Ugh. Replenish my little broken heart with reviews. Don't worry, you find out what happens to Kikyo in the epilogue. I didn't forget about her! (Bet you all wish I had, callous bitch . . .) Definitely not a happy chapter towards the end. Rather depressing. Like I said, I cried--but that's just because I'm the author.

****

*

Sesshoumaru

Stillness hung over everyone for what seemed like an eternity. I could do _nothing_ to stop Naraku—I was frozen where I stood, though I was trying furiously to release myself from the immobility. I could only watch and listen as Naraku spoke in such casual words the truth of what had happened in the Northern Lands. My eyes, the only part of me that could move, were fixed on Kagome's face the entire time. Perhaps it was a bit of masochism that made me watch, maybe a little more guilt. I _deserved_ to see her pain, and I deserved the hatred that would follow. I had not lied when I told her I did not deserve her kindness.

The worst of it was that she didn't _do _anything. I kept waiting for her to shove him away and scream at me, slap me or even punch me for being such a bastard, let me know that she hated me. But instead of being angry—furious—her eyes closed and she seemed to deflate. Rather than rage, she seemed like she wanted to do nothing more than cry. I swallowed, cursing my own immobility and only able to look at her in horror. It was like I was watching her heart break through her eyes.

No one expected what happened next. It was almost like it didn't happen, it was so quick and surreal. The sight was burned into my mind. With a quick flick of his wrist, Naraku turned her head to the side—too far to the side. At first I thought he had simply cast her aside, tossed her like a doll that he'd finished with. But she didn't stumble as though she'd lost her balance—she just fell. No arm came up to break the fall, no foot moved to catch her. She collapsed to the ground and was still.

The moment she ceased to move, it was like the world around me exploded into movement. I knew what had happened—I knew almost before it happened, and I could only move once it was too late. I was at her side instantly, the first movement I had been allowed. I completely ignored Inuyasha, whose eyes had come open hazily while Naraku was talking. Now he was totally lucid, if not bleeding from a deep gash on his forehead and deadly pale with horror.

I was the first to move for a very long time, kneeling on the ground and touching Kagome's neck in search of something I would not find. Already her skin was cool to the touch.

__

Nononononono, I kept on thinking._ Not like this, not when that was the last thing she ever heard—this can't happen, it's not happening . . ._ My hands curled into fists as it sank in finally, but I didn't quite feel the explosive grief like when my father had died. At first, I almost didn't feel it at all.

What I _did_ feel, however, was cool metal against my throat as Inuyasha stumbled to his feet and put the Tetsusaiga against my neck. I half-heartedly wondered if he was going to slit my throat intentionally or on accident, his hand shook so badly.

"Get away from her," he managed to growl.

"Be silent," I found myself saying. Talking had not been one of my top priorities.

"I said _get away_! Tell me he's lying," he snarled, an odd note in his voice. He sounded . . . 

I remained very still. "What?"

"Tell me that Naraku is full of shit. Tell me that you didn't really do what he said you did. Don't tell me you're honestly THAT GODDAMN STUPID! Did it ever occur to you what would happen to _her_ if you did that?" he demanded, rage rising in his voice. 

"I did," I said thickly. "Did you know what happened that night? What _really _happened?"

"I don't care!" he exploded, almost sending my head rolling accidentally. "I don't," he repeated, quieter now. "When this is over . . . I _will _kill you. As soon as I gut Naraku like a fish."

The sound of an arrow being notched. "You will not," came Kikyo's voice. Her eyes were cold as she glared at my brother, her former lover and now the one she fought so desperately to destroy completely. "I told this man I would aide him in his completion of the jewel I protected for so long, and I will do so."

"You double-crossing fucking whore!" he raged. "She _trusted _you!"

"And she was the stupider for it," came the cool reply.

"You're next!" he exploded.

"Your wish list is getting long," the priestess threw back.

"How could you _help_ him?" Inuyasha demanded furiously. "He's the reason all this happened—he's the reason _we_ happened, you heard him say it yourself!"

"Perhaps," she replied, "but when a love so great as ours was destroyed by a simple trick here and there, perhaps our love was not truly so great."

"After this, I'm damn glad it wasn't!"

"She was a fool to ever love you or your brother," Kikyo practically spat, probably cut deeply by the casual dismissal of a hatred that seemed to fuel her. "You both brought her only pain—I did her a favor by allowing Naraku to end her pathetic, shallow life. I do not think fools such as yourselves will pursue her now, while she is trapped forever in Hell!"

And then the monk finally did something worth consideration—unfrozen now, he helped the demon exterminator to her feet, then stormed over to the dead priestess and slammed his rod into the back of her head so hard that I thought the pole would snap. Eerily undeterred by the blow, she spun with the bow and arrow to run him through, but he swung again and knocked the weapon from her hands. Then, with an amazing disregard for gender, especially from a monk, he threw the rod down and hit her close-fisted in the face so hard I was surprised his hand hadn't broken. She stumbled once before hitting her knees in a daze, a hand to her face. Inuyasha gave the man a look of gratitude, but in his face one could already see pain consuming him. 

I released Kagome from my grip, afraid for one foolish moment that I was hurting her from holding on so hard, then drew my sword and stood by Inuyasha. "I have made mistakes," I growled at him, "but I will make up for them."

"Get the hell out of my face," he snarled. "I'm doing this alone. All you'll do is mess me up and get yourself killed."

"I will fight, whether I am killed or not. Should the former happen, then I will most certainly not bother you again," I replied grimly.

Two tendrils of miasma snaked out from Naraku, who now stood in a pool of it, and wrapped almost instantly around our wrists. I let out an exclamation of pain as the substance itself burned into my skin, marring the flesh and surprising me so badly that I dropped my sword out of reflex. The arm of miasma snaked up to wrap around my waist, then slithered further up to wrap around my neck.

"Fools," Naraku hissed. "Will you try to avenge her death by rushing at me like children? Will taking the easy way out be enough? I am not the one who just lost their love, remember. Have you so quickly let grief addle your brains? I assumed that you had learned from experience—mistakes like that get you _killed_." The miasma coiled tighter, cutting into my windpipe, and I gasped for breath as my fingers dug into the offending cloud. 

Inuyasha was not so quick to drop his sword. With a quick slash, he had severed the miasma as it came to him, barely touching it with his skin and standing with both hands on his sword. He still trembled so badly that the sword wavered back and forth. "Then bring it on," he snarled. 

As though obeying his brash words, the branching poison shot clear around him and snagged him from behind, wrapping around him as it had me and encompassing him like a rope.

"This has been a pitiful game," Naraku sighed. "I did enjoy it from time to time, and the ends have quite justified the means, but I am finished with you. Your jewel shards, please."

"Rot in hell!"

"At one time or another, I'm sure I've been there, but I really have no desire to go back," Naraku told him. "I suppose you won't be handing them over?"

"Not on your life _or_ mine!"

The demon raised a hand in the air dramatically and snapped his fingers. Inuyasha let out a cry of pain as the miasma tightened around him, popping bones that I'm sure should not have been popped, and four small pinpoints of light appeared in the breast of his shirt. Slowly, the glow increased, and with a small _pop_!, the jewel shards ripped from his shirt and fell neatly into Naraku's outstretched hand, just as the shard from my arm had done. Eyes wide with horror, Inuyasha and I both stared as Naraku brought the nearly-completed jewel into view, dangling on a chain hidden by his hair. He held the shards close to the large jewel, and there was an audible tremble in the ground as both the shards and the jewel lifted from his hand. The miasma vanished from both myself and Inuyasha, dropping us to the ground like stones as Naraku's attentions shifted in fascination to the jewel.

The ground shook even harder.

This was bad.

*

****

Inuyasha

My heart hurt. It literally felt like someone had taken a burning sword and rammed it right through me unceremoniously. The miasma wasn't helping, either. I think I was convinced I was going to die, because my life flashed before my eyes. I really needed to shape up.

I had been _horrible_ to Kagome. I'd never once been kind, or caring—the only times I could get over myself enough was when it benefited _me._ When she tried to express to me how she felt, back in the beginning, all I could think about was Kikyo. I was _stupid_. And now, in every way imaginable, I had lost her forever.

This was _bullshit_.

It was even worse than bullshit when I realized what was going on. Miroku had knelt down beside Sango and was shielding her protectively—from what, I didn't know. It was just the ground shaking. I guess it was what _made_ the ground shake that made him get very protective. Beside me, Sesshoumaru was coughing up his lungs and trying unsuccessfully to push himself up. Kikyo seemed to be fading in and out of consciousness from the blows dealt to her by Miroku. And above all that, Naraku towered over us all, watching as the jewel began to glow so brightly that we were all engulfed in light.

The earth shook harder beneath us, and what little grasp Sesshoumaru and I had on getting to our feet vanished as we hit the shaking ground. I couldn't peel my eyes from the jewel as I saw the pinpoints of light that had been jewel shards slowly combine with the larger piece of the jewel. Once they had merged, there was a crack of thunder in the clear sky, and in a mighty explosion of blinding brightness, a wave of pure energy ripped out from the jewel and bowled everyone over.

__

"No," I whispered in horror. The Jewel was complete.

And we weren't the ones who'd done it.

*

****

Sesshoumaru

Gradually, the trembling ground and bright light subsided, and in its wake it left very disheveled shard seekers. I raised my eyes to the completed Shikkon Jewel—it was really a very lovely jewel. I could understand why so many had desired to complete it.

The tiny Jewel dropped into Naraku's hands, and he recoiled as though it were heavy and hot to the touch. His eyes were dark with triumph, and he grasped it in his hand as his body began to tremble. _He was using it to become a full demon_, I remembered suddenly.

SHIT. That summed it up nicely. 

He was deadly enough as a half-demon . . . I did not want to know how deadly he was as a full demon, but I do have rather rotten luck, and I suspected I was going to find out anyways. I didn't suspect that I would die—I happen to be the owner of a faithful sword that would not allow such a thing to happen. While I do tend to despise the Tenseiga, it has come in handy before.

. . . 

I was missing something. Why think of that damned sword now? 

. . . 

The mental revolution I had right then was so psychologically violent that I couldn't believe myself. _You absolute fucking moron! Stupid, stupid, STUPID! WHY DIDN'T THIS OCCUR TO YOU EARLIER?! GODS ABOVE, YOU **FOOL!**_

How did I miss it?! HOW!

Above us, Naraku had seemed to go catatonic as the hand holding the jewel convulsed violently. Exposed muscles were growing hard, tensing and growing large, and the Jewel in his hand began to glow again, shining out between his clenched fingers. He hit his knees, letting out a cry of what could have been pain as his back bowed under what could only be intense physical pressure caused by transforming into a true demon. He seemed to be in great pain—which meant his attention was elsewhere.

I grabbed Inuyasha by the collar of his kimono. "Keep him distracted," I growled.

"He _is_ distracted!" he snapped in a low voice.

"Make sure he stays that way!" I threw back, slipping away.

"What in—what the fuck are you doing?" he hissed angrily.

"Something right," I told him grimly, sliding the Tenseiga out of its sheath. A few yards away, I could see the monk's eyes go wide with realization as I crawled over to where Kagome lay. She looked so peaceful—well, in the sense that she no longer had worries on her mind. The expression burned onto her face was one of surprise, pain, and sadness, rather than peaceful. Given what Naraku had told her before he killed her, it was not surprising at all. I felt a twist of guilt, such a foreign emotion for a demon. But I was no longer a demon, and so guilt seemed to be all I felt lately. Perhaps it was my conscience. 

Sword in hand, I saw with the same surprise as always the little bastards scurrying across her body, greedy for her soul in death, and remembered what had happened when I revived Rin. Gripping the hilt tightly, I swung once with sudden pent-up pain, anger—fury, really—all the things that had swarmed me when I realized she was dead.

It felt vaguely like I had thrown the sword, I sliced so sharply and violently. It was as though I had lost control of it—and the minute I slashed through the last of the creatures splayed across her body, something very large and unfamiliar swung down with the sword. I do not know what it was, but it did . . . something. This was different from when I brought Rin back from death—it was bigger. Perhaps it was because I knew the one who needed reviving. It was personal—the loss had _hurt_. For a brief instant, it felt like I swung my soul down at the girl rather than a sword, spearing her with emotions that I didn't understand or necessarily like as though they were a weapon.

There was a flash of light, not unlike the light from the Jewel that Naraku now possessed, and when the creatures dissipated from her, I collapsed to the ground, dropping the sword in surprise. _This is very different from reviving Rin, _I thought distantly as I hit the ground. I was . . . drained. I had very little left. Using the Tenseiga wasn't supposed to do that . . . 

The only thing I really heard was a piercing scream—right in my ear, actually. And I hadn't screamed.

My eyes turned from the dirt to the human beside me, and I watched in exhaustion as Kagome opened her mouth again and sucked air into her deprived lungs. A little strength returned to me as I did the only thing that seemed right at that moment, before apologizing, before getting up, before killing Naraku. I pushed myself up a little bit and moved over to her, reaching out and kissing her as though I wouldn't live to see the next day.

*

****

Kagome

Something hurt. Something hurt a _lot_. Maybe it was my heart . . . who knew? The last thing I remembered was Naraku telling me . . .

No. Don't think about it.

He killed me. He'd broken my neck—hadn't he? How was I still here?

Then it clicked in my brain that . . . erm, someone was kissing me. My eyes flew open, and then something in my head began screaming. _No! Don't let him, it's him, oh Gods above, he'll do it again . . . _I stiffened in horror, and golden eyes opened to fix on me as the figure pulled away. _No, it's just Sesshoumaru,_ I thought in confusion, but the voice was still panicking. _Oh, he knows, he remembers, get away from him!_

And then silence. The panic subsided as though it had never been there, and I almost jumped on him. Almost. Right behind the realization that it was him was that voice—those words.

__

On the night of your stay, he was so easily seduced by her that it was rather embarrassing . . . 

He went right from your bed to hers . . .

She certainly knows how to get what she wants . . . several times, in fact . . .

No. Oh, please tell me that was just a dream . . . I just hallucinated it, didn't I?

I looked up at Sesshoumaru, pain beginning to overwhelm the euphoria of being alive. "He was telling the truth, wasn't he?" I asked sadly.

His golden eyes went wide. "Kagome—" His tone of voice, shocked and full of self-loathing, was the answer I needed.

I rolled away from him suddenly, turning my face to keep him from seeing the crying fit I was about to have. I strongly suspected I couldn't stop it once I started, and I felt a blast of fear at breaking down right in front of everyone. Already tears were beginning to sear my eyes, and I was only moments from hitting my knees as a sob welled up in my throat.

Naraku's voice stopped me cold. "You _must _be joking," he chuckled. I turned on my heel to look at him, but rather than the fear that had gripped me around him ever since he had taken me, I felt a wave of calm envelope me. It was . . . alien, to say the least.

His body shook with what seemed to be subsiding tremors, and I saw with alarm the Shikkon Jewel, complete and clenched in his hand. He certainly looked different—he had always seemed to carry with him the sickness that had ailed his human body, even once he was rejuvenated with the bodies of all the demons from the mountain and the miasma, etc., but now he looked—well, utterly indestructible. His exposed chest was defined with muscles that he'd lacked before—the toned, flawless body of a true demon. Great.

Naraku took a deep breath, and the tremors stopped immediately. His crimson eyes fixed on me coldly, and a self-satisfied smirk crossed his face. "I didn't expect to see _you _again," he told me lightly. "You look positively deathly. So pale . . . it's really rather disturbing."

"Shut up," I snapped, swallowing the sob. My pity-party was going to have to wait—I had bigger problems right then.

Inuyasha, struggling to his feet, fixed his deep gold eyes on me, and they shone unnaturally. "Kagome?" he asked, his voice cracking. I swallowed hard—was he—

"Hi," I said weakly, wishing I could run to him right then. But I didn't. His mouth was set in a grim line, and the look on his face was hesitant. His eyes darted back at Naraku once, as though asking me a question. _Do it, or don't do it?_ he seemed to ask me.

I gave him the faintest nod.

With a roar, he spun around, the Tetsusaiga blazing as he turned to Naraku. "_Bastard_!" he snarled, bringing the sword down. I closed my eyes and tried to block out the fight as I began to chant in a dead tongue.

'_Gods above and below, hear my call,_

Take he of unclean spirit and vanquish his soul

Take the human in him and free him of his bonds

Banish in him the poison of the devils . . .'

Roughly translated, anyways.

I opened my eyes once my mind was on the right track and watched impassively. The sword sliced through Naraku cleanly, but the red mark left behind on his body vanished as though it were erased. Naraku let out a growl and grabbed the wrist that held the sword. "I'm sure you know the drill," he growled. "Drop it, or drop your hand. I assure you, once your hand has been utterly burned off, you will die of blood poisoning."

A moment's hesitation, and the sword hit the ground, but not before Inuyasha jammed his hand straight through Naraku's stomach, much in the fashion of his fight with Sesshoumaru so long ago.

Sesshoumaru . . . 

__

Don't think about it.

' . . .Take the winds of the North

The storms of the South

The fires of the East

And the blood of the South

And take his demons . . .'

"Eat shit and die!" Inuyasha raged, one wrist captured in Naraku's searing grip and the other sticking out beside his spine.

Naraku gave him a chilling grin. "If you insist." He took hold of Inuyasha's offending hand and gently dislodged it from his stomach, and the hole vanished almost instantly. Inuyasha swore selectively, grinding his teeth as his other wrist was taken as well and put through the same punishment as the first. He took a deep, shuddering breath, and hit the ground on his back, as though crippled by the pain, but then his feet popped up and drove right into Naraku's groin. The demon doubled over, and swallowing the pain he must have been feeling, Inuyasha twisted his hands so that they gripped Naraku's wrists as well and flipped him over onto his back. Taking advantage of Naraku's surprise, Inuyasha freed his wrists and proceeded to become absolutely lethal. Ignoring the sword that lay waiting to be picked up, he hauled Naraku up to his knees and began to beat the hell out of him with his bare hands. Naraku seemed to be doing a bit worse as a demon than he had before—although Inuyasha hadn't quite been so out-of-control earlier.

__

'Cleanse the mind

Heal the body

Remove the evil . . .'

Sesshoumaru pushed himself to his feet beside me, watching me as I recited words in a language he probably hadn't heard before, golden eyes unreadable. "Don't answer me. Finish the spell. But . . ." he clenched his jaw and spoke through his teeth. "I regret what happened with Saeko. For all the worlds, if I were given another option, I would never do it again. But put in that situation, under those circumstances, and with the pre-ordained conditions . . . I would do exactly what I have already done. Given a choice between myself and the other person in the equation, there was no other option."

My voice hitched, and I turned to look at him. My face clearly said 'please don't.' Actually, I think it said 'if you say anything else, I'm warning you, I'll cry and scream and hit you, then pass out, and where would we be then?', but I didn't actually mean to give him such a broken-hearted look. It just sort of happened.

He recoiled slightly. "You don't understand," he muttered. "You just don't."

Whatever.

Understand or no, that didn't change the fact that I wanted to cry.

Over on the violence end of the scale, the tables had turned on Inuyasha when Naraku had kicked him in the stomach, following up with an old-fashioned punch in the face. "Stupid halfling!" he snapped, knocking Inuyasha to the ground and virtually tackling him. "You can't win! You couldn't win even before I possessed the Jewel! What makes you think that you even have a _chance?_"

Inuyasha wiped a bit of blood from his mouth and gave Naraku a disturbing grin. "The fact that Kagome is still casting an exorcism spell over there. And the fact that she's almost done."

The blow that Naraku dealt Inuyasha was a bit more than devastating. It was actually vicious enough to make me think with terror that Inuyasha was dead. But his eyes opened slowly, dazed and unfocused, but open. He was alive . . . if only a little bit between awake and unconscious.

__

'Cast out his demons

Unleash his soul . . ."

"Stupid girl!" Naraku exploded, stalking across the meager distance to strike me. He was intercepted by Sesshoumaru, who had sheathed the Tenseiga and now held his other sword before him.

"Don't touch her," he growled in a very calm voice. Could you be calm and still growl? I didn't know . . . but it's what he did.

"Don't make me kill you, Lord Sesshoumaru," Naraku warned him. "You made a very fine ally long ago. I would hate to waste you when we still have such potential."

"There is _no_ potential for anything between us!" Sesshoumaru practically spat, lunging at Naraku with his sword. But Sesshoumaru was only a human right then; he didn't even stand a chance. I could have thumped him for even _thinking _of it. Naraku batted him away as though he were an insignificant obstacle and closed in on me.

But just barely too late.

Had it been any other time, I would have been screwed. But the words that I'd struggled with so greatly before seemed to roll off my tongue like water now, as though I'd known them all along. I couldn't even understand myself, I was speaking so quickly. Maybe it was an upside to being dead.

__

'Hear my words

Heed my cry

Give me the power to cleanse his soul

Expel his demons

And RETURN HIM HIS HUMANITY!"

It sounded much better in its original language—it actually rhymed. In my own native tongue, it was a bit silly-sounding with a serious I-hail-to-the-guardians-of-the-watchtowers-of-the-north-type thing from _The Craft _going, but it did the trick. 

Naraku, of course, had no idea what I'd just practically screamed at him, so he didn't falter as he strode up and backhanded me. I tumbled to the ground, but not before I saw him freeze in his tracks as though someone had hit him. "What in the—"

I sucked on my teeth, tasting blood, and pushed myself to my feet carefully. "That," I declared calmly, "would be me kicking your ASS, you son of a bitch."

Inuyasha's head lolled to the side so that he could see what was going on—or to watch Naraku flip out, I still don't know. Probably both. Naraku stumbled clenching the Jewel that he wore on a chain around his neck—_my _chain, the bastard. "It's not possible!" he exclaimed, reaching out to grab me by my shirt. "Your spell only worked if I was a half-demon!"

"No," I told him coldly, trying to dislodge myself from his grasp, "it works on _anything_ of demon nature. Moron. What the spell does is separate the demon from the soul—and that works nicely for _me_, because your soul used to be human. What happens now, you may wonder? Well the pain you're no doubt feeling is the pain of having half of your soul forcibly extracted from your body—which is _far_ more painful than anything you've ever done to me—and after that, you're fair game, babe." I practically spat the words. "You can fight it, if you want—I assume you already are—but eventually, one way or another, I'll win."

"Not before I kill you again," he snarled, throwing me back to the ground and kicking me in the side so hard that I doubled over.

"Sesshoumaru will just revive me," I coughed.

"But I'll still have the satisfaction of knowing I am strong enough to destroy you twice over!" he snapped. At the shift in attention, though, he doubled over as well, and this time he fell _onto_ me. I let out a cry under the sudden weight, but no sooner had he dropped on me than he was up again—and not of his own accord this time.

Naraku was lifted high into the air, finally losing against the force of the spell I'd cast, and his fists curled against his temples, as though trying to keep his head from exploding. "It—it can't be—" he hissed through gritted teeth.

And then he began to glow. The Jewel dropped to the ground, and it became very difficult to really see him. His body began to blur against the light that came from his chest, and then . . . 

'Explosion' is really the only word that covers it. From his body came an explosion of demons—snakes, dragons, generally evil spirits, you name it. Almost as though a dam had broken, they all came pouring out of him in all directions, tens upon hundreds, then hundreds upon thousands, until the air was positively clogged. I picked myself up and hauled it away from the outburst of evil, especially when one rather unfriendly and hungry-looking demon got a look at me. More and more, unceasing as they were ripped from him, the screams of thousands of vengeful demons not overriding Naraku's scream.

"Everybody get behind me!" I heard someone shout. "Oh—dammit, follow my voice!"

Huh. I'd totally forgotten about Miroku . . . 

An arm shot out and took hold of me, and I turned to see Sesshoumaru dragging me through the sea of demons. They all parted like water before him, probably recognizing him and not aware that he was human, and he dragged me to where Miroku was shouting. Inuyasha had crawled over as well, barely conscious.

"Where's Kikyo?" he asked thickly.

Sango's eyes widened. "Inuyasha!"

"Where is she?" he demanded again, borderline passing-out. 

"I—I don't know," Miroku practically hollered over the mayhem. "Should I wait?"

"Let her die!" Inuyasha coughed, blood coming up this time. "Just do it!"

Miroku nodded and ripped the rosary from his hand. "Wind tunnel!" he roared, extending his hand.

I never did get used to that thing, I decided as I watched every demon that had come or was still coming from Naraku disappear into his hand. He almost stumbled backwards under the onslaught—I don't think I'd ever seen him take in so many demons at once. Well if this worked, he'd never have to worry about the wind tunnel getting bigger again.

"Sango—" he began, knees beginning to buckle under the strain.

"Everyone, help him!" I hollered. Sesshoumaru, Sango and I all stepped up and went back-to-back with Miroku, supporting him. I felt him sigh and go slack against us, and for a moment I almost panicked at the thought that he'd passed out., but his arm was still out, and it seemed he was just taking a break. I felt my feet dig into the soft soil as the demons were sucked into his wind tunnel and made him lose ground against the pressure.

And then, after what could have been an eternity, it stopped very suddenly. So suddenly, in fact, that we all went flying forwards as our combined strength bowled us over. Miroku landed on the bottom, and I felt sorry for him . . . till I realized with chagrin where his hand was, and popped him on the back of the head. "Hands off," I warned. "It's not over yet."

Sango's eyes were transfixed on the spot Naraku had been. "Yes it is," she said softly.

My gaze followed hers, and I felt shock overwhelm me. "Oh my—"

It wasn't Naraku knelt over in the middle of the now-naked landscape. I couldn't even recognize it as a man at first—but it was. It wasn't the handsome, cold, and powerful demon who was curled up there—it was just a human. In fact, it was the human who had created Naraku to cure his own weakness and mortality.

I helped Inuyasha to his feet, and we walked together slowly to the man left behind by the spell. Cold eyes fixed on me from the ruined face of a man covered in burns all over. I balked suddenly. "Are—are you Onegumo?" I asked nervously, suddenly afraid of what was before me.

"Does it matter?" He had the same deep, rich voice as Naraku. Such an odd noise coming from a man like him.

"You really _are_ just a wreck of a man," Inuyasha said slowly, looking a little dizzy still. "Kikyo had told me once—how could someone like you turn into what you did?"

"Hatred of you!" the man spat, his whole body trembling. From what I'd heard from Kaede, it was amazing that he was even alive now. "You and Kikyo alike! You were both fools . . . you never deserved her . . ."

"So that _was_ why," Inuyasha murmured. I remained silent—it was _his_ life ruined by Onegumo, not mine. I didn't have a dog in this fight anymore. "I always wondered if it was for Kikyo. Guess even the best of us can be fooled."

"She . . . she never should have . . ." he began to cough, and I heard a rattle in his lungs that scared the hell out of me. He was dying—not slowly, the way he had been when Kikyo found him, but really dying. As in taking his last breaths. But what should I have expected? For Naraku to stand up, free of demons, and be strong enough for Inuyasha to think he needed to use the wind scar and wipe him out entirely? Onegumo was doing that on his own. He had been dying fifty years ago—he would certainly be dead by nighttime.

If that.

I knelt beside him as he lay down slowly, probably to ease himself of the pain he was feeling. "There are medicines I can get you," I said uncertainly, the urge to cry returning in leaps and bounds. "They won't heal you, but I can take the pain away for now." He was so wretched—I couldn't just leave him to die like that. Miroku could live a little longer with the wind tunnel, and Sesshoumaru could learn to like being human. I didn't want him to suffer—for all that he'd allowed to happen by invoking all those demons into him, I couldn't stand by and let him suffer.

"Get away from me!" he snarled, striking out blindly. I suspected he _was _blind, his eyes were so dim. "I can't die . . . not so long as I have it . . ."

I stared at him blankly. "What?"

"It really _is _a curse," he chuckled, and I heard fluid rattle in his lungs. "Beautiful when tainted by evil . . . but it will keep me alive as long as I have it, I'll suffer for eternity while I bear it . . ."

The Jewel. I glanced at Inuyasha. "Should we?" I asked, my voice shaking.

He seemed tormented. "After all he's done . . . all the lives he's ruined. I ought to let him keep it and live forever like this."

I stared at him in horror. "Inuyasha—"

"But no one deserves that," he cut me off. "I wouldn't sink to his level if my life depended on it. Even after what you did to me and Kikyo," he told the man, "I won't give you the satisfaction of knowing I didn't kill you."

"Bastard," Onegumo chuckled weakly. "I always knew you had it in you."

I felt a chill race down my spine as Inuyasha glared. "You realize what you've done to everyone, don't you? How much I'm going to enjoy doing this?"

"I'm sure I do."

"Good," Inuyasha spat, then leaned down and ripped the Jewel from Onegumo's neck by the chain, clutching it in his shaking hand. The dying thief didn't even get to say anything to him—thank him or possibly curse him. He was dead by the time Inuyasha had straightened himself and held the Jewel so tightly that his nails drew blood from his palm. "You know what the funny thing is?" he asked me, eyes dull as he stared down at the man who had single-handedly destroyed his life. "I didn't enjoy that at all." He tossed the Jewel to me, then turned and walked off without looking back. I didn't know where he went—I don't think he wanted me to know.

I turned to look at the group we'd left behind when we went to deal with Onegumo. They were picking themselves up carefully—but I saw the differences already. I walked over to them, taking notice of the marks that were beginning to appear on Sesshoumaru's face and the way his demon beauty began returning to him, making him flawless once again. The cuts and abrasions that had marred him before faded.

Beside me, Miroku was looking suspiciously at his hand. "I almost don't want to take it off," he said slowly.

I pushed hair out of my face. "Why?"

He hesitated, eyes raising to mine. "I . . . I'm almost afraid that when I remove the glove, it will still be there. That somehow, as his last curse, I'll still be trapped with it even when he has gone."

I shook my head, the tears still standing in my eyes defiantly, waiting patiently for me to release them. "It's up to you. You don't have to be afraid of him anymore—he's dead. Don't give him that."

"But the ultimate joke," Miroku said dryly, "is that I'm taking his word on this. I'm going by what he said to determine the rest of my life."

I sighed heavily, drained emotionally and physically. "Tell me the outcome, one way or another. I want to go home."

Sango caught me before I walked away. "You'll be staying a little longer, won't you?" she asked hopefully.

I almost cried. She had lost so much—all she needed was to lose another friend. "I can't," I said, my chin trembling. "I just can't. It's been too long. This time is killing me."

Miroku took my hand in his right one—free of the rosary and glove. I wanted to cry some more. "It's up to you," he told me, a faint smile showing both the dawning realization that he had the rest of his life before him and the fact that he didn't really want me to leave, either.

I nodded. "I know. That's why I have to go."

I didn't even look at Sesshoumaru.

*

****

Later that evening

I was on my final good-byes. I had bid farewell to Shippou and Kaede earlier, because I didn't want Shippou to see me cry. He didn't need that—he was hurt enough already. 

Sango grabbed me in a crushing hug, mindful of cuts and bruises that I hadn't let Kaede heal. "Be good to Souta," she told me in a trembling voice. 

I nodded. "Don't worry about it."

Miroku gave me his charming smile once again. "Do I get a good-bye kiss?" he asked, oozing charisma. 

I shook my head helplessly. "You just don't give up, do you?"

He shrugged. "Guess not. At least tell me that Sango gets a good-bye kiss . . ."

I stared. "You _are_ the original pervert," I laughed.

"I tried," he sighed. "I would have kissed Inuyasha if you'd asked," he added, as though letting me know I could do him at least one more favor.

" . . . Hey, say that to my face," Inuyasha snapped.

"Say what?" asked Miroku innocently.

"Perv," he muttered.

"For future reference," I told the monk, "compliments are more savory to women than come-ons. Try it sometime."

He seemed to think it over. "I compliment women."

"Yeah, but then you ask them to have your children. Bit of a turn-off on the first date."

"So I should wait."

"Preferably. And you'd live long enough to get the chance if you would get your hand off my ass," I added warningly.

He bowed. "I'll take that into account as well."

"Oh, enough between you two," Inuyasha snapped, grabbing me by the arm and dragging me away. "Shut up already, jeez."

"Is there a problem?" I asked him.

"No, I just knew that if you stood there talking to him much longer, you'd leave later, and if you left any later, I'd never let you leave," he muttered, not meeting my eyes.

I stared at him, feeling my heart break. I was leaving them all . . . I _had _to! I didn't have any other options! I . . . I couldn't think of anything to say, so I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his shoulder. "I don't want to go," I told him, finally starting to cry.

He returned the gesture, not letting go this time. "Then don't! You could stay here, with us—gods, even for Shippou, for crying out loud. Stay for him." I laughed weakly. "Stay for me."

The laughter dissolved into tears again. "I can't!" I sobbed. "I can't—I can't do this anymore. I don't belong here," I said between sobs, "I never did. It just hurts too much—"

"It doesn't' have to," he insisted fiercely. "It can be great—we had fun, right?"

"Always," I admitted, sniffling before breaking down again. "I just . . . I don't want to think about the times when it _wasn't_ fun. I hurt too much . . ."

"If you want me to kill the bastard," he said, voice muffled by my shoulder, "then I will."

I went very limp. "Don't. It doesn't matter. I'm going home and I'll never see him again."

"You'll never see any of us again," he reminded me, his voice cracking.

"I can't," I repeated, although I didn't know which one of us I was trying to convince. "I can't stay here. This isn't my time. My home is in Tokyo, five hundred years from now."

"Yeah, I've been," he muttered. "Well then—go on. Have fun with Hojo or whoever. Start your life over again, okay? If you're going to go home . . . do it right. Don't think about us."

I pulled back, looking at him sadly. "Only if you'll do the same."

He snorted. "The rules only apply to you."

I sighed. "This is too much. Inuyasha—I love all of you guys. You know that, right?"

"You'd better," he scowled, slipping down his mask of arrogance quickly. His face was as irritated as ever—but his eyes were overbright, catching the light of the setting sun. They gave him away. He took my hand and pressed something into it. "Take it with you," he told me. "It's not safe here and all . . . so just, you know, do something with it. Make it an earring, for all I care."

I looked down into my hand. The Shikkon Jewel lay nestled in my palm like a pearl. "But you—you were going to use it to become a demon . . ."

"Oh, who needs that," he scoffed. "The last thing I need is to be just like my brother."

I smiled weakly. "Yeah, that's the last thing any of us need."

He studied me carefully. "You don't hate him, do you?" A statement.

I shrugged. "I think that if I'd had time, I wouldn't have. But I can't be around him right now . . . I just can't. It took so much out of me to find room to care for him . . . and now this. I can't spend my entire life trying to move beyond one thing—which is exactly what I'd do, trust me. I just need to go home and start over."

"Then go," he told me shortly, dropping his eyes to his feet. "I hate good-byes anyways."

I smiled. "I'll be all right getting to the well on my own." I would spare him the trouble of having to go through this again.

He made a 'hmmph' noise and shrugged. "Go ahead." Now he was regular Inuyasha again—utterly and completely emotionally constipated. Before he could shoot off to somewhere—as he inevitably would—I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Bye, Inuyasha," I said thickly.

He grabbed me in a quick hug. "Yeah." And then he shot straight up and landed on the roof of a nearby house, as unmoving and timeless as a gargoyle on a castle. That was the last time I saw him.

I sighed and turned to the forest, walking back to the well that would take me home. I couldn't keep my tears in any longer—I had almost really, truly lost it in front of Inuyasha, but I had so much I needed to cry about that I suspected I would cry for days. I didn't break down yet, but I did let the tears spill over that I couldn't contain anymore. The forest moved by me in a blur as I practically ran to the well now, so desperate to get the hell out of this place that I couldn't even comprehend it. 

I came to a halt at the well, no longer uncertain about jumping into its depths and to be frank, I wouldn't have cared even if I _had_ been afraid of jumping. It was the noise in the forest behind me that kept me from jumping in immediately.

I turned slowly and found myself face-to-face with Sesshoumaru, tall and beautiful and absolutely unreadable. I threw my bag down into the well and just looked at him. He said nothing at first, just looked back at me. It all came rushing back to me then—the hurt, the betrayal, the utter. . . the fact that I couldn't even hate him for it. I sat down on the edge of the well and put my face in my hands. "Just go," I muttered.

"Kagome—" he began.

I stood up furiously, despite the tears that I honestly couldn't hold in any longer. I glared at him, eyes swimming and my chin trembling violently. "You know what?" I snapped, a wail rising in my throat that I was afraid I wouldn't be able to control if he didn't leave. "If you won't go, then I will."

"Dammit, Kagome, _wait—"_ he reached out to take my hand, but I jerked away. I didn't even bid him a scathing farewell as I turned and stepped down into the darkness of the well.

I stood up after a moment and brushed myself off, picking up my bag and climbing out. I ran into the house, banging open every door that crossed me. "Mom?" I hollered.

"She's in her room," Souta told me. "Back already?"

I dropped my bag to the floor and gave him a hug, rather than follow my impulse and run by him—Sango would have. "Yeah. Back already." I pulled away and entered my mother's room slowly.

Maybe I was overwhelmed. Maybe I was exhausted. But when my mother looked up at me over the top of her book, I couldn't keep it in anymore. "Mommy?" I asked in a small, trembling voice. Without a word, she stood up and wrapped her arms around me in my distress, and I cried like I would never stop.


	13. The Grand Finale

AN: I love you all . . . broke 300! *Cheers* Rock ON! And for those of you who worried that I would end this in a bad cliffhanger, or perhaps end the entire story with Kagome and Sesshoumaru mad at each other, I'm morally offended! (Yeah, right . . .)*Thumps her voice of reason* Anyways. I do have some Sesshoumaru-yelling in here, and it may seem a bit OOC, but really. The guy's had 500 years to sit on his ass and think of what exactly to yell. Plus, 500 years changes a person—while it was OOC for the Sesshoumaru from the past, it's not necessarily going to be that odd for him 500 years later. He just needed some time to prioritize and decide what comes first (the chicken or the egg . . ): his pride or someone else. So read and enjoy my epilogue! It's much more lighthearted than the last few angst-ridden chapters.

*

****

Some time later . . . two months, specifically.

I don't care what therapists say; denial is a beautiful thing. It's the ultimate cure to getting a person through class when all they really want to do is curl up somewhere and cry. How is that, you wonder? Easy. If you're in denial, then technically you have no reason to cry, and therefore you can focus on the lesson in class, because nothing is wrong.

Denial is a beautiful place. You should go there sometime.

Unfortunately, you can't stay there forever. One way or another, you eventually realize that 'out of sight, out of mind' applies only to your refrigerator, and even then, you have to bring it back into sight when it starts to smell.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't in denial about ever going through the well, or meeting Inuyasha—I wasn't even in denial that I'd ever met Sesshoumaru (just listen to me talk in my sleep). I was in denial over the fact that it _hurt_, even after two months. The mourning period is only supposed to last a few weeks, not a few months.

I stared at my desk as I thought about all these things, the test in front of me utterly blank save for my name and a few made-up answers. Damn that son of a bitch . . . he should have just killed me that night in the woods, right after he fought Inuyasha for the Tetsusaiga. Sure, it would have sucked, but then there would have been no Naraku, no Kouga (though I did miss him), no late-night make-out sessions, no still-healing scar on my stomach, and no Saeko. God, if I'd never met her, it would have been too often.

I sighed as memories rose again. The flashbacks didn't come as often as they had before—I used to have dreams _and_ flashbacks every time I closed my eyes. Now they only surfaced when I least wanted them to (i.e., in class). The horrors of my time with Naraku were fading slowly—not going away, of course, but getting to the point where they weren't _always _on my mind.

Save for in the middle of a math test.

They weren't specific memories anymore . . . just little ideas. The air conditioning kicking on always felt like a hand brushing the back of my neck, and I could swear I felt him watching me—not saying anything, but hiding . . . _watching._ Not dead, not a ghost . . . alive and very present in the room with me. Always. It was the worst when it was quiet . . . like during a test.

__

I can make it hurt . . . 

Not thinking about it. I live for theorems and matrices. 

__

But I can make it much worse . . . 

My head hit my desk with a solid thump, and I made a noise of misery. The teacher came up beside me and spoke to me softly. "Kagome, are you all right?" she asked with concern.

I shook my head. "No."

"Would you like some fresh air?"

I nodded unhappily, removing my head from the desk. "Yes, ma'am."

"Go on, then. Ten minutes at the most, if that's all right with you."

I stood up miserably. "Thank you," I muttered, excusing myself from the room and stepping into the cool air outside.

So much for putting the whole incident aside. I slid to the ground as my mind hashed up memories from what seemed like forever ago—things I had tried to forget. I couldn't forget anyone from that part of my life, even though it was over. What I wanted to forget were the little things, like . . . oh, I don't know, ultimate violation by Naraku, Kikyo setting me up to get killed, Sesshoumaru . . . 

Nothing specific that he did. Just him. 

Just _thinking_ about him stung like salt on an open wound. I should have said something—he was the last person I saw before I came back home. If I couldn't have at least been polite . . . I should have been scathing. I should have said something that made an impression, left him as hurt and betrayed as I was. But nothing I could say would do that; after all, _he_ was the one who slept with—

Ooooohh, if I didn't think about something else, I'd go crazy!

__

So what hurt the most? asked a voice in the back of my mind. _The fact that he slept with someone else, or the fact that you _wanted_ to fall in love with him? As I think the saying goes, 'I thought that I could love no other . . . until, that is, I met your brother.' Very appropriate, hmm?_

Oh shut up.

*

"So where did you go during the test?" asked my friend Mai at lunch later on.

I shrugged. "Outside. I didn't feel too well."

"You've gotten awfully thin," Kito noticed, munching on a carrot stick thoughtfully. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Jeez, would everyone quit asking me that?" I sighed dramatically, taking a drink of lemonade. "It's like the entire world expects me to turn to dust and blow away."

"You _were _out of school for two years," Charlie reminded me. "We worry. You made a pretty fast recovery, in my opinion."

"Thanks," I told her. "I appreciate that you guys worry about me, but really—I'm okay. With what I've been through, you either die or you come back stronger—and I'm still here, aren't I?"

"You _are_ different," Kito admitted. "I mean, if I hadn't known for a fact that you were sick, I would've thought you saved the world or something."

"Or something," I agreed.

"But we're not the only ones who've noticed that you're different now," she added. "I mean, Hojo has asked about you practically every day, _plus_ he's asked you to call him like ten times now."

"And I would," I countered, "if he wasn't a student teacher here now. He's graduated and now he's supposed to be responsible for the students—it doesn't help if he's dating one of them. He knows on some level that I'm not going to call."

"If you don't call him," Mai told me, "then at least call one of the _other_ million guys who've asked you to call them. You're avoiding guys like they're the plague."

"As far as I'm concerned, any guy who wants me to call them _is_ the plague," I told her sourly. "I'm just out of a bad, dysfunctional relationship, and I don't need another one right on top of it. I want my rebound time."

"Is two months rebound enough?" asked Charlie dryly. "I know you haven't seen anyone since you came back to school. And EVERY guy who's hit on you has been cute, sweet, and funny—what more could you want?"

"Tall and broody," I tossed back, then let out a miserable sigh. "That's _not _what I want, never mind! Dammit, just because I get involved with emotionally constipated guys . . . you'd think I want to get away from that!"

Charlie snickered. "So can I have your cast-offs? They're all gorgeous."

I ignored her. "Why? Why can't I like someone normal? Why do I have to like a person who is sooo bad for me? Aren't I normal? Shouldn't I try _not _to thrive on pain?"

"Nah, you're a natural born masochist," Kito assured me. "You know how I get—I've been out with the same guy twice."

"Try three times," Charlie tossed back. "I went out with Girly Bangs _three times_. And I don't' even _like_ him."

I stared at her. "Who?"

She shook her head. "We don't say his name in polite conversation . . . I swear he curled his hair."

"Oh, _that_ ex-boyfriend," I said dumbly. "You went back out with him?"

"Yeah, wish I hadn't," she muttered. "So everyone tell me if I'm hallucinating the blond hottie by the school."

Kito and Mai glanced across all the cafeteria tables in the courtyard. "No, he's very real."

"Who wants to bet he's going to hit on Kagome?" asked Charlie. "Now that I think he's cute and all."

"You can keep him," I sighed. "I quit. I hate men—no more dating guys for me. I am officially a lesbian."

"That's great," Kito said distractedly. "Especially since he's walking over here."

Charlie was transfixed on the said cutie behind me. "He's going in a box under my bed," she decided. Must be gorgeous—only the true knockouts go in boxes under her bed. And I don't literally mean box—it's a phrase. I sighed and kept my eyes on my pudding—if I was going to stick to my gay resolution, then I couldn't look at guys anymore.

Hah.

Charlie poked me. "Check him out."

"Didn't I tell you I'm gay now?"

"Yeah, but you deserve to see my future husband. I want your stamp of approval."

I took a bite of pudding. "Describe him."

"Hmm, tall, cute, blond hair in a ponytail . . ."

"High or low?"

"Low, thank God. Brown eyes—very light. Tan. Cute. Box under the bed."

"Here, have pudding," I told her. "You need to chill."

"Not before you look. He's coming over here still."

"Well then all the more reason for me not to look," I replied smoothly. "It will be too obvious—I dare not run the risk of being caught."

"Like he'd complain. Besides, every other chick in the courtyard is checking him out. He won't notice."

"Another reason not to. He'll get an ego."

"Just look!" she insisted.

I glanced over my shoulder. "Fine, I looked, are you—"

So sue me. He wasn't blond.

I choked on the pudding that I was about to swallow—and he was still coming over. Okay, what to do. Run, walk, hide under the table . . . 

"I'm keeping him," Charlie decided aloud.

I groaned. "You can't. He's the tall and broody one I'm sulking over. _Why?_ Why can't I just die in peace?"

She sighed. "Fine. I call Hojo, then."

"Take him! I don't want him!"

"You want broody man who's two tables away?" asked Kito.

"I don't want him, either! There's a reason I'm sulking!" And what was he doing here _anyways?_ Don't tell me he used the damn well—ooohh, I was going to have Grandpa destroy that damned thing! With a bulldozer, and a backhoe, and a lot of heavy machinery—

"Kagome." He spoke before I could do anything, be it speak first or bolt. He grabbed a chair from a nearby table and planted it across from mine, sitting backwards in it and resting his arms on the back of the chair. I looked at the ground.

"Sesshoumaru."

"It's been a long time," he said conversationally.

Anger, bitterness, and resent won out over everything else. "Not long enough," I snapped, getting up and storming off.

He was up in a flash, catching me by the arm. "Longer than you think."

"I don't care how long it's been!" I almost screeched. All that kept me from absolutely screaming was the fact that my friends were transfixed and I didn't need the whole rest of the courtyard to be the same. "It still isn't long enough!"

"How long have you been here?" he asked calmly.

"My whole freaking life, okay? If you're here to lecture me on why I ought to go back with you, then I'M NOT BUYING IT! I spent _two years_ of my life either trying to beat Naraku or TRYING TO BEAT YOU!"

"That's not what I meant, although the attack on our first meeting is duly noted," he tossed back. "I'm not here to ask you to return through the well. Frankly, it would do me no good." 

"Damn right it wouldn't, and if you must bring it up, then the first, like, three times we met!"

Let's all forget my friends were watching, why don't we.

"You've gone three months without returning through the well, haven't you?"

I scowled. "Two, thanks a lot."

"Do you know how long I have lived my life trying to atone the wrongs I've done?" he asked softly. There was a sort of . . . oh, he sounded mad. Great. I pissed him off. Smart, Kagome. Brilliant.

"I guess two months isn't the right answer," I muttered. His arched eyebrow said 'to say the least.' "So how long have . . . oh my _god_. You _didn't._" A concept I'd completely forgotten seeped into my brain—immortality. Okay, not immortality, but . . . really long life spans. Inhumanly long. In fact, demonically long. Holy crap. "You mean to tell me you went FIVE HUNDRED YEARS without getting killed?" I exploded. 

"It's not hard."

"It's not hard?" I repeated. "You go five hundred years, and all you can say is 'it's not hard'? Have you gone crackers?"

"It was a learning experience," he told me calmly.

I fumbled for words pointlessly. Nothing brilliant would fall in my lap—best to settle for less-than-brilliant. "I don't care how long you've been around," I snapped finally. "I'm still not speaking to you! Fun as this may be, I have a bit of dignity left, and you're not helping! So just . . . leave me alone and do whatever it is you've done for the past five hundred years, okay? And leave me out of it!" I stormed off, hands trembling around my notebook and leaving behind three very confused friends. 

I made my way to the rail that overlooked Tokyo and set my books down on the ground, resting against the rail and closing my eyes. The adrenaline rush was gone—yes, adrenaline. I wished I had done something different—said something different. Violent verbal explosions aren't my bag. But . . . this was unbelievable. The fact that a) he'd lived for five hundred years, b) he was here, and c) he was _here_, in my school, mingling with a life that had never included the warring states, was unreal. And all my friends thought he was cute (and blond. What was that?).

The anger rushed out of me very quickly, and I felt suddenly like it was the day I left, after defeating Naraku and going to the well. It felt exactly like I was standing there with him again. All the old feelings, the ones that I'd been able to bury under schoolwork and friends, came rushing back. I didn't need to look up to know he was beside me, resting on the rail.

"You know what the worst part was?" I asked him very quietly. "The fact that it wasn't you who told me. _Naraku_ had to tell me. Of all people . . . like I haven't lost enough to him, I had to lose that, too. I—I don't care if you were in denial, if you were waiting for the right time—it should have been you. That was just something else he had over me."

He didn't say anything.

I barreled on. "Don't get me wrong, that was the worst of it—but not by a lot. The fact that you—that you could actually—I can't believe it. I don't want to. But why would Naraku lie about that?" I asked him bitterly. "The truth is much more fun than any lie could be."

"So it seems," he agreed solemnly.

I balked at the slap his agreement delivered, but I didn't let him see. He could probably sense it anyways. "Just go," I muttered, much in the same way as I had so many weeks ago. "Please."

"_No_." His voice was so firm that I was taken aback. "You asked me to do so once before, and I would not, and this time you will not, either. You will be silent until I say otherwise, because while you have been thinking about this for two months, I have had _five hundred years_ to consider my wrongdoings. I am well aware that what I did was not the wisest thing when it came to your feelings, but fortunately your feelings weren't what I was concerned about sparing. I have some dignity," he told me grimly (_some_ dignity? Understatement . . .), "and I sacrificed that for a greater good, among other things. All that concerned me at the time was _your _godforsaken worthless life, and if you don't learn to listen to what others have to say when they need to say it, then I'm going to start thinking that it was miserably in vain! I have paid very dearly for that little escapade, both at my own hands and the hands of others, but it was at _your_ hands that I have truly deserved to suffer, because _you _were the one inevitably hurt by the entire situation. I will say all of this once and only once, so hear me very carefully," he added warningly, "because if I don't say it, then gods only know you'll _never_ figure it out, you're so humanly dense! Yes, it was impulsive, and yes, it was foolish to sleep with that wretch of a demon, but I slept with her because—" he cut himself off. "I was left with no other choice. I really ought to leave you in the dark about the whole thing, but it just makes what I have to do so much more difficult in the long run, so keep quiet. You remember she mentioned a bargaining chip earlier in the evening?"

I nodded, careful to keep quiet lest he yell at me again. This was extremely odd. Painful, in the sense that he was bringing up everything I didn't want to think about, but odd too.

"_You _were the bargaining chip," he snapped. "Does that mean anything to you? _Your _life was forfeit should I fail to comply with her wishes. Somewhere along the fine line between dreaming and waking, I ended up with _you_. And at some point along there, she pushed you over the threshold and you woke up. I did not. Do you remember exactly what we were doing?"

Oh holy hell. "Yes, I remember." Could I turn any redder, please?

"At some point after I—I marked you," he continued, and I swore he was turning pink, "you woke up and I did not. At that point, I was presented with a choice between your life and—"

"And what? Your dignity?" I asked slowly.

"Never mind," he snapped. "Forget I said anything." Sesshoumaru turned on his heel irritably and began to walk off. I caught him by his denim-clad arm.

"Wait," I said helplessly. "So you're saying that . . . if you _hadn't_ . . . she would have killed me?"

"I said forget it!"

That would be a yes. Guess he didn't want to talk about it. "You are _kidding_."

"What part of never mind do you not understand?" he demanded.

"You're serious," I repeated. "Has the world gone crazy or something? Who do you people _take_ me for, anyways?

I couldn't see his face—well, okay, just his silhouette, but it didn't look very happy. He obviously wasn't going to answer me—oh shit, what if he'd just taken that the wrong way? He didn't think I thought he was lying, did he? I hated this with a passion akin to the fires of hell. "Sweet gesture," I said dryly, "but really. I can take care of myself."

His gold eyes fixed on me, totally unreadable. Over five hundred years, he'd lost that whole flat unreadability and gone for just being mysterious. Guess that comes after five hundred years, huh? I kept on talking, maybe because I'm stupid. Maybe I just needed to talk. "I guess I've already gone on about how you should have told me earlier—hell, you _should_ have just _told _me when we left—but I won't go off on that again. You're telling me I've been mad at you for two months because you were trying to protect me and you didn't tell me?" I shook my head. "I'll have to chew on that for awhile. I . . ." reality was still staring me in the face. He had . . . _duh_. Everyone knew what he'd done. Jeez. I hate being sensitive. All well and fine for the cuddly moments and all, but really. When it came to stuff like this . . . I was still hurt, no matter what. Dammit. I would change it if I could, but . . .

I pressed down on the bridge of my nose to remedy my headache. I needed . . . I needed time, actually. 

__

You've had two months, you freaking moron.

Oh, who brought my conscience into this? Holy hell.

__

'Who' is beside the point. You think you've had no time to stress over this? Fine. You've had two months to make yourself miserable; he's had five hundred years. You can't be totally selfish here . . . try waiting that long.

I scowled at my conscience. Who ever said I had to prove myself wrong, dammit? . . . I hated shit like that.

I sighed. "You just could have told me, is all."

"You wouldn't listen."

"Like when?"

"When you jumped down the well, for example."

I gave him a dark look. "I was a bit busy being mad at you."

"Did you know _why_ you were mad at me?"

"Yes! I'd just found out you slept with the most conniving woman I've ever met!"

"And that's why we haven't spoken in two months," he replied shortly. "Or five hundred years, depending on which one of us you're thinking of. So long as that's how _you_ think of it, we are going to have _real _problems."

My eyes grew wide. "You're making _me_ the villain?" I exclaimed.

"I'm taking a break from being a villain," he told me. "Try it on for size."

"No, wait a minute! You were the one in trouble, last time I checked—now _I'm_ the guilty one? I don't need that today!"

"Do you feel guilty?" he asked.

"Yes, you rude bastard!"

"Good. Then I'll be the bigger person here and forgive you for whatever you feel guilt over."

Now I _really_ felt like shit.

I put my forehead in my hands. "You know what sucks? I can't hate you. Not even now, when you've shifted into asshole-mode and I should hate you by all rights."

"My intention was not to make you realize that."

"Then what _was_ your intention?" I asked heavily.

He was silent for a moment, looking down upon Tokyo thoughtfully. "To ask your forgiveness."

I stared at him in blatant surprise. He had come to ask forgiveness? _Sesshoumaru_? What had the centuries done to him? He was . . . he was very different.

"You want my forgiveness?" I repeated uncertainly, turning to look at him fully. He leaned sideways on the rail to do the same.

"I didn't know there was an echo here," he said dryly.

I ignored him. "I—I don't—oh jeez."

He turned again to walk off. "I did not expect it, however," he told me over his shoulder.

__

DO SOMETHING, IDIOT!

I reached out and caught him—by the hand this time, effectively stopping him for the moment. His gold eyes were not hopeful—if anything, they still held the mystery that had replaced his standard poker face. I couldn't think of anything—not anything appropriate, anyways. A lot of short sentences flooded my brain, but none of them would work.

Kinks would have to be worked out later, wrinkles smoothed out. This didn't make it perfect—hell, it didn't even make it _decent_—but it made it right. Better to have something broken that could be fixed, rather than have nothing.

Don't get me wrong—this _didn't_ fix everything. Far from it. But it gave us somewhere to begin when it came to fixing the broken.

I put a hand on his arm to keep him there and kissed him so deeply that you'd think I hadn't seen him in five hundred years.

~~The End~~

~~Or Is It? . . .~~

AN: Got questions? Feel like I didn't tie up some loose ends? Good thinking, because I didn't. What good is a sequel if you don't start out with unanswered questions?


	14. Ariels

AN: I never really state who narrates this, but it's not hard to figure out. This is a TEASER from Chapter 1 of "Ariels," the sequel to "Disease." Yeah, the System of a Down song. I almost called it "Walk Like an Egyptian" . . . just kidding. Yes, this is just a snippet. It will be awhile before I get into the whole story, as a) I've just been presented with two fic challenges that I'm dying to do, and b) I just got accepted to LSU and I'm taking a lot of time to get that sorted out. So I hope you guys like this part . . . for those of you who were disappointed with how I ended "Disease," what was I supposed to do, forget all that had happened between them and make her say "I love you, I forgive you, kiss me I'm yours"? Yeah, not happening. Lol, give me feedback! Review me! This is your time to tell me if this piece makes you want a sequel!

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Modern Times

How long can one sit and plot their own destruction? How many lifetimes does it take to realize that you are destined to die a horrible death each time? I do not think I realized that in time to save myself before. Had I known what would happen to me so long ago, who would end up killing me, I am certain I would have done things differently.

For starters, I would have killed Inuyasha before the bastard could think twice.

Ironic, how it is he who has killed me each time. What is he to me--an enemy? An ally? He was a friend once, I think. But to balance out our friendship, he has more often than not been my sworn enemy. I have usually striven to stay alive towards the end of all our conflicts. A friend, yes. In one life I believe we were lovers, although I would rather not dwell on that. I _do_ have a sensitive gag reflex. Friend, ally, enemy . . . to disturbingly offset one of our lives, we were brothers once. Twins, to be specific--not identical, of course, but twins. He had the looks of our father--proud, with his silver hair and gold eyes. He was given the Tetsusaiga, our uncle's sword, though rather grudgingly. I suspect our father found it difficult to part with.

And the girl, Kikyo. No . . . Kagome. Kikyo had proven to be nothing more than a shell filled with hatred. The purity that had drawn me to her originally died with her real body. All those things Kikyo represented did not die, however. They died for her . . . but they were given to one more deserving. Kagome resurrected that which Kikyo let die, and she turned it into something that saved the world.

From me, in case we lack a dose of irony thus far.

I slide my hands into my pockets and wait for the 'walk' signal to come on. I've been ticketed for jaywalking three times this year, I don't need a fourth ticket to pay off. My mind wanders more often than not lately, but I do not complain. The memories are not _all_ unpleasant.

I smile dryly. It was truly a miracle that Inuyasha was able to actually kill me in our past life--really rather dramatic, ripping the Shikkon Jewel from my neck and leaving me to die. I wonder briefly what has become of the Jewel--perhaps Kagome still carries it. I cannot imagine why she wouldn't. But on a deeper level, I don't really care. The Jewel only plagued me in one lifetime. I'm sure something new will arise to catch my eye and get me killed. It always happens. Inuyasha has been the one to kill me each time, and Kagome has always helped him. They are rather indestructible when they want to be.

My mind returns to her. Brave girl, really. I remember the pain I put her through before--physical, psychological, emotional, and yet it took force to make her crumble. A physical intrusion was all that made her yield to me, along with some added . . . persuasions . . . for my own benefit. The measures I took to retrieve the location of the jewel were admittedly cruel to the poor thing, and not necessary at all. So why be so evil? Why so cruel?

That, my friends, is simple. I _am_ evil. 

Or I was. I'm not quite sure what I am now. I balance on a knife's edge: on one side is the oblivion that any human is entitled to when it comes to the darker aspects of life, the cruelty and malice and, of course, the evil. On the other side is the madness that has consumed me before. I could care less which way I tumble; I will hit the ground hard either way.

I glance at the couple sitting on a bench as I cross the street finally, careful to keep my face angled away. I don't know why I came to Tokyo. Perhaps it is the hatred for my father in a life many centuries ago. Perhaps I will never truly rest until my soul is vanquished--really, if everyone would just kill me and do it_ right_, I would be very grateful. Cut my head off, banish the demons from my body, push me off a cliff, shoot me with a flaming arrow, that won't do it. I have an old soul, like Kagome and Inuyasha. Even that monk . . . damn, what was his name? . . . and the demon exterminator had old souls. Sesshoumaru, though he is a fool and does not know it, has a soul as old as mine. Fewer lives, yes, but he has been a full demon each time, so he has lived longer. I am still cursed to be a half-demon, though--and it's not as though I would live very long as a true demon anyways. Fate does seem to conspire against me, after all.

Why do they plague me so? Inuyasha is obvious. Our rivalry dates back to the beginning of time. I do not understand this bond to Sesshoumaru--aside from the fact that in his current life, he has outlived both his sons. The fact that he aided Inuyasha in killing me--his own child.

Maybe that has something to do with it.

I pause for a moment, watching the couple on the bench, careful that they don't see me. So calm, so serene. He seems very comfortable with her--or as comfortable as he is capable of being without a sword. Five hundred years only change one so much. There is certainly attraction between them, even I cannot deny that. Her lovely face has a tentative smile as they talk--I don't think they ever really talked privately in the Warring States, unless he was angry about something or there was extreme pressure on them. 

How do I know this, you ask? I _did_ invade her mind. The violation is a double-edged sword, and the connection has never truly faded, even after these five hundred years. I know many things about her, and though she doesn't know it, she knows many things about me as well.

She pushes a wayward strand of ebony hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear a little nervously. Their conversation is bordering on very serious, and she does not do well in severe situations. If you were to stick an arrow in her face with every intention of killing her, she wouldn't blink, but interactions like these scare her to death. Somewhere under the schoolgirl clothes and makeup, she is a warrior. But I do not think she will discover that part of herself in this life.

I am distracted, and so I do not see the person headed towards me. We collide rather violently, and his books hit the ground. I mutter an apology as her eyes flicker over to me once, and I turn away quickly, lest she get a good enough look to recognize me. I am pushing my luck lately, being so close to her. Our destiny in this life will not be the same as in our last life together--I do not think we will start off enemies. But in the end, she and Inuyasha will kill me. They always do.

I catch a glimpse of myself in the window of a barber shop--I have lost a little weight, but I was out of shape not long ago, so it's not a bad thing. I have been honing the skills that come with being a half-demon, and it is doing wonders for my metabolism. I am not helpless, and I never plan to be.

I think I have become wiser since I last lived a life with Kagome. I am not the greedy, ambitious fool that I was when I sought the Jewel, and I am not the spoiled child I was when I sought the key to immortality in the next life. But I was never stupid. Now I am the wiser for my mistakes, and I suspect that were I to have a goal in life, I would achieve it very quickly, be it a future as a businessman or ruling the world. 

I turn the corner and leave Kagome to her afternoon with Sesshoumaru. Now is not the time to approach her . . . although if I did, what in the hell would I say? I can think of many things I _shouldn't _say, but nothing decent. It would be nice to get to her before Inuyasha and the others, as I know they're lurking in the city somewhere, waiting for Sesshoumaru to take her to them. I told you I was no fool.

I don't know about my sanity. I suspect that I never had it, in any of my past lives. But I am still very intelligent. I do know right from wrong, and I have a grasp of morals. I know when I should not cross the line.

I don't know if that makes me less dangerous, or more.


	15. Author Note

Hi . . . okay.  I know I haven't updated, and I'm really sorry.  I figured everyone should know why I a) haven't updated and b) haven't emailed the people who are kind enough to get in touch with me.  The only computer that has all my stories (except for Life Uncommon) and the Internet is up a flight of stairs . . . and yeah, I can't really climb stairs yet.  I was just in a head-on collision recently, and I'm still bouncing back.  I'm SO SORRY I haven't updated Ariels.  I'm really trying to get better . . . but I just got out of a musical, and my bitch-from-hell director decided that I needed to get out and do my stuff, even days after the wreck and I couldn't walk right yet.  So I'm waiting for my joints to swell down.  My dashboard and cell phone charger (ouch!) did a real number on everything below the waist.  The seatbelt and airbag took care of everything else; I was leaning forward around the driver (who was driving MY car, my tiny little Toyota.) going "Um, there's a Silverado coming . . ." and so I have a bit of whiplash too.  But enough on my sob story—I promise I'll conquer stairs eventually!  I SWEAR I won't leave you guys hanging any longer than necessary.  I'm so sorry this is taking so long.

Promise I'll update as soon as possible!  Kudos!

--Psycho Pixie


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